As there are no ages given in this scenario (and hopefully Toby is above the legal age of consent!) some guesswork is required. If Walt and Jon's friendship extends to them meeting each other's families and given that they have known each other for over 20 years, Walt could have known Toby as a child. That fact alone could have freaked Jon out. ilijah specifically asked if anyone was in the wrong. On the available info, I'd say Toby was. Why on earth would he want to tell his uncle that he'd been having sex with his uncle's friend

If you're pulling out before you cum and you do not cause any bleeding in the process, the chances of HIV transmission assuming that the person you're having contact with has a manageable Viral Load count are not very likely. Don't get me wrong though, it is still possible for transmission to occur, it's just not very likely. That all being said, even if you're in a partnered relationship, take it from someone who learned things the hard way, you still don't want to run that risk when you know the factor is there. The type of moral and mental strain that it puts on both the person who infected you by knowing what you're going through, as well as what it actually puts you through when you find out really isn't worth the risk. Did you know that in Canada, the cost of the medications required to stay alive (using my case as an example) is a whopping $1,533.53 Canadian every 30 days? When you do the math, that adds up to a price tag of $18,657.95 Canadian per year for the medications required to live. What's worse is that the average wage job with somewhat decent pay assuming that you work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 50 weeks of the year, and get paid for 52 weeks of the year only adds up to $23,400 per year before taxes. That means that on the average, for someone that has managed to obtain a more "decent" paying job would only be left with some $266.46 per month (or $4742.05 per year) after paying for the medication you need to live. Such a task is simply impossible to do. Also keep in mind that these income figures are before taxes. On average, an income of $23,400 Canadian would only equate to approximately $18,500 Canadian after taxes, thereby effectively forcing you to either bite the bullet on expensive insurance that's at least substantially cheaper than the cost of the medications, or forcing you to resort to a disability pension to be able to cover your medication costs and provide you with a slap in the face by dropping you from a take home income of $18,500 Canadian per year after taxes to a mere $1053.00 Canadian per month in my case, for a now grand total income of $12,636 Canadian per month. Either way, it's a substantially life changing adjustment that one must make to accommodate for such a thing. While I'm on this topic, I'm not even going to get started on the issue of insurance companies either refusing coverage or terminating people's drug coverage for being HIV+. It's a sad thing to say, but it is a reality. Aside from the financial burden of the matter, it is commonly known that 95% of persons who become infected with HIV are diagnosed with depression with depression within 5 years of finding out their diagnosis. Of that 95% of the population, 90% of them would not have otherwise been diagnosed with depression. What's even more frightening is that 80% of persons who are diagnosed with HIV attempt suicide either as an initial reaction to their diagnosis, or generally shortly after diagnosis. It should also be noted that of the 80% who attempt suicide, 98% of such cases occur within the first year following diagnosis. I truly can't emphasize the importance of playing it safe enough. It's not just your own well being that you're taking into account, but it's likely also the mental state and well being of the person you catch it from if you know who they are. Those points as illustrated above in this post are only a few of the highlights of some of the things that you can learn about HIV in the textbooks. What they don't teach you however is what it's like to actually live with the virus, how it changes your body, making you adjust to a new "normal" as it were. In some cases it can cause weight gain or abnormal growth such as a hump on your back. Did you know that in some cases, you have may have to be reduced to Depends under pants because of the incontinence (literally) that can be caused as a result of the drugs that you need to live? For that matter, did you know that you can spend time on a semi-frequent basis getting well acquainted with the toilet as you're delivering the gospel according to puke so violently that people around you are wondering how in the hell you can still breathe or fit that much stuff into you? All I'm saying is if you choose to have such a practice, make sure you understand what it is that you truly are opening yourself to the possibility of. I am not saying that barebacking or that your way is "wrong", because what is right for one person may not be right for another. I just want you to truly understand what it is that you potentially open yourself up to by taking such an approach.

Not likely - they would have to be damn hot! Surprised so far I'm the only one voting that choice.

Heteros already have total acceptance. Sorry I don't feel I owe them anything and I'm not saying that unkindly. But I won't go out of my way to be nasty to them - for example if I see 2 heteros kissing in public I will be neutral about even ignore them. But don't expect me to smile at them though if I feel cheeky I may say "Can I join in?"..haha Equality is more a legal/political issue - well it effectively comes down to that. I don't think you can really give equality. But you can respect others regardless of their orientation. Your post is a little confusing.

Balance in all things ~ including lube.  ::) Too much lube and sickening scents are never a turn on for anyone.

@uwsguy102: Trust your gut. If something feels wrong, it is. If you want to wait, then wait. There's no law that says you have to lose your virginity by a certain age, or in a certain fashion. At the same time, though, try to imagine that there's more than ONE answer to your question. As he said: do what you feel is good for you, and don't give a shit about the other people. Life is yours, so take good care of yourself and of your feelings. Kisses 

A number of studies have been done (on straight people of course) but I don't know why they wouldn't mostly apply to Gay people.  The argument always comes up that "marriage is just a piece of paper."  This ignores the fact that most people see marriage as a permanent thing and plan accordingly.  They generally intertwine themselves in a joint checking, joint savings, mortgage in both their names, children etc.  Society blesses the union with a religious ceremony.  Part of the attractiveness of living together is that it can be dissolved without a word, if one of the parties is of the mind to be so inconsiderate.  Just move out.  But more on living together….Each party keeps their own money, often spending it in ways which would likely not occur in the married/mortgage/save for the children's colllege fund scenario.  For (stereotyped example) the nonmarried man can gamble on the horses to excess and the nonmarried woman can spend as much as she likes on clothes.  As long as each comes up with their half of the rent, who can chastise the other?  Living together is just a completely different mindset.  In the married model, it forsees the road may be rough, people blow up, lose patience, but marriage gives them cause to 'give it one more shot' since dissolving is much more expensive and painful, emotionally, socially etc. Of course there are always exceptions; some can live together in a committed state of unmarriedness and vice versa, but in general this makes sense to me. Interestingly, in the documentary "Saving Marriage" - the married (Gay) couples gave many of the same arguments I've summarized above!

Agree.  Of course if you suddenly feel like you can't connect, then something must've gone wrong, right?

Honestly, I've fantasized about having multiple partners.  But when i'm with my bf, (even just online) what i experience totally blinds me to all else so i guess it was just a passing fancy, or saved for when i watch porn hehehe. So the answer is no.  But no offense intended to those who say yes.  Or maybe… some day we'll be okay with a group thing, but not likely.

@tvlal: @cumeaternc: So you aren't allowed to buy briefs in Russia? What are you allowed to purchase, just boxers? I'm not being sarcastic here, I really want to know. For example: hXXp://www.latanya.ru/shop/index.php?id_group=60&page=1&action=&search_text= hXXp://www.pano-rama.net/category/trusy/ Now I think you understand me in my interest! I do, tvlal! Oh, boy… I do. I would love to have an explanation but, sadly, I haven't one. As our pal points out, and I can tell for my own experience, both Russia and Brazil lacks some white stripes in their common briefs underwear models. I dunno about Russia, but is fucking weird that a country like Brazil with tons of fashionistas and great designers doesn't come with something so simples as that.

@bluehue: And don't forget, we're all full of shit… I thought that was a politician. Always full of the same thing, and needing to be changed frequently.

The section of brain that was mentioned is a primal part and only has function in basic primal function, not thought.

HOLY SHIT!!!!  Up to $30,000 to get a boyfriend?! The odd thing is they are a US that deals solely in $$$$, but they are using a UK bank to process their transactions.

I know she totally evil. I do not believe she is his true friend. Up to now, she hasn't apologized and he hasn't changed his relationship with her. They talk like they used to. It is very annoying and I can't get him to understand how I feel. I believe in total support when it comes to relationships but he think she is too important for him to give her up but she has insulted me so much. I love him and I don't want him to give up his friend if she doesn't apologize but I can't stand the thought that my companion is spending time with this evil hag that thinks so little of me.

I have no regrets, whatsoever. I do find problems, with the people around me who are ignorant about homosexuality (and so many other things…). Being gay has made me very strong, and I think it is a good move by whatever caused me to put me in this position. Not being able to make babies with a partner that would seem natural to me, is a bummer, but life is not fair to begin with, so what am I bitching about? And really, what is there to regret about something you had no say in? I could regret the shittiness of the world, but what's the use?

I cruise from time to time and in talking to other cruisers that have been arrested….none of them have ever been charged with anything.  Usually if the cop knows he has to appear in court and testify under oath, he saves himself the embarrassment of a public spectacle about his actions that led him to believe you are "cruising".  I know of at least two "friends" who have not been charged for this simple reason.  If a cop lets you touch his cock or shows it to you in a sexual manner suchas grabbing or fondling it he is entraping you. Finally(in my state North Carolina)if two guys are in a stall doing whatever, that is considered a private act as noone has the right to monitor your toilet activity. If so they are breaking NCs peeping tom law.  Long story short...if you want it that bad, get a hotel or hookup with someone who can host.

@leatherbear: COMMUNICATE both verbal and non verbal and a good time will be had by all involved!!! I'd like to reinforce what LB is saying here:  Good sex requires communication, even if he's your BF/partner and you've done it together a thousand times.  Although I like porn (don't we all, or we wouldn't be here!), I think it's unreal to have guys screwing away with no communication about what they like/want/don't like/don't want/etc. As a top for the last ten years who started out as a bottom, I think the guys you meet who have loose, floppy arses that don't stimulate your cock are probably trying too hard to relax–they've mastered that [relaxation] technique very well, and just need to be asked to clamp down a bit.  After all, they are able to tighten up when avoiding a bowel movement! For guys who are "too tight" and in pain, they're on the other side of this situation:  They need to learn to relax their sphincter.  But this is not intuitive for many guys–relaxing the sphincter is usually associated with taking a shit, and that's not something a guy--especially a novice--wants to do in the middle of sex.  But if he's empty and clean inside (which we hope is the case), nothing will come out.  I remember one college guy who had so much trouble relaxing this way that I led him into the bathroom, had him sit down on the loo, and try to shit.  When he saw that nothing would come out regardless of how much he relaxed and even pushed, he was more confident about relaxing in bed and we had a great time. A final note:  One time I hooked up with a bottom who had a genuinely small arsehole.  He relaxed completely, enjoyed immensely getting fucked, but it was so tight around my cock that I'm the one who was in mild pain--I kept putting on more lube, but it was still too tight.  I was happy when he finally came so I could pull out, and then he finished me off with his mouth.  But this guy is the exception rather than the rule, and no, I don't still have his phone number 

I tend to agree mostly with the statement - "point of obsession by nearly all mankind" I mean who can live without it? :hug: :hug: :hug:

Hi Anon, to be honest with you i don't think it's to do with either telling him and risking the loss of a friendship, or, keeping your feelings inside and bottling them up.  It is more to do with having to tell yourself that those feelings have to go, not bottle them, but to dismiss them. It's very easy for me to say this as I have had the benefit of many years experience. I also except that when one has feeling they are often very difficult to put in the back of ones mind but from what you have told me, either of the options you mention are probably of no use to you. If you can learn to accept that you simply cannot have this guy in any other way except as just friends - learn to accept this and feel any sadness that this may bring, then surely this is more healthy for you than to either risk destroying your friendship or beating yourself up by harbouring feelings.