Balance in all things ~ including lube.  ::) Too much lube and sickening scents are never a turn on for anyone.

@uwsguy102: Trust your gut. If something feels wrong, it is. If you want to wait, then wait. There's no law that says you have to lose your virginity by a certain age, or in a certain fashion. At the same time, though, try to imagine that there's more than ONE answer to your question. As he said: do what you feel is good for you, and don't give a shit about the other people. Life is yours, so take good care of yourself and of your feelings. Kisses 

A number of studies have been done (on straight people of course) but I don't know why they wouldn't mostly apply to Gay people.  The argument always comes up that "marriage is just a piece of paper."  This ignores the fact that most people see marriage as a permanent thing and plan accordingly.  They generally intertwine themselves in a joint checking, joint savings, mortgage in both their names, children etc.  Society blesses the union with a religious ceremony.  Part of the attractiveness of living together is that it can be dissolved without a word, if one of the parties is of the mind to be so inconsiderate.  Just move out.  But more on living together….Each party keeps their own money, often spending it in ways which would likely not occur in the married/mortgage/save for the children's colllege fund scenario.  For (stereotyped example) the nonmarried man can gamble on the horses to excess and the nonmarried woman can spend as much as she likes on clothes.  As long as each comes up with their half of the rent, who can chastise the other?  Living together is just a completely different mindset.  In the married model, it forsees the road may be rough, people blow up, lose patience, but marriage gives them cause to 'give it one more shot' since dissolving is much more expensive and painful, emotionally, socially etc. Of course there are always exceptions; some can live together in a committed state of unmarriedness and vice versa, but in general this makes sense to me. Interestingly, in the documentary "Saving Marriage" - the married (Gay) couples gave many of the same arguments I've summarized above!

Agree.  Of course if you suddenly feel like you can't connect, then something must've gone wrong, right?

Honestly, I've fantasized about having multiple partners.  But when i'm with my bf, (even just online) what i experience totally blinds me to all else so i guess it was just a passing fancy, or saved for when i watch porn hehehe. So the answer is no.  But no offense intended to those who say yes.  Or maybe… some day we'll be okay with a group thing, but not likely.

@tvlal: @cumeaternc: So you aren't allowed to buy briefs in Russia? What are you allowed to purchase, just boxers? I'm not being sarcastic here, I really want to know. For example: hXXp://www.latanya.ru/shop/index.php?id_group=60&page=1&action=&search_text= hXXp://www.pano-rama.net/category/trusy/ Now I think you understand me in my interest! I do, tvlal! Oh, boy… I do. I would love to have an explanation but, sadly, I haven't one. As our pal points out, and I can tell for my own experience, both Russia and Brazil lacks some white stripes in their common briefs underwear models. I dunno about Russia, but is fucking weird that a country like Brazil with tons of fashionistas and great designers doesn't come with something so simples as that.

@bluehue: And don't forget, we're all full of shit… I thought that was a politician. Always full of the same thing, and needing to be changed frequently.

The section of brain that was mentioned is a primal part and only has function in basic primal function, not thought.

HOLY SHIT!!!!  Up to $30,000 to get a boyfriend?! The odd thing is they are a US that deals solely in $$$$, but they are using a UK bank to process their transactions.

I know she totally evil. I do not believe she is his true friend. Up to now, she hasn't apologized and he hasn't changed his relationship with her. They talk like they used to. It is very annoying and I can't get him to understand how I feel. I believe in total support when it comes to relationships but he think she is too important for him to give her up but she has insulted me so much. I love him and I don't want him to give up his friend if she doesn't apologize but I can't stand the thought that my companion is spending time with this evil hag that thinks so little of me.

I have no regrets, whatsoever. I do find problems, with the people around me who are ignorant about homosexuality (and so many other things…). Being gay has made me very strong, and I think it is a good move by whatever caused me to put me in this position. Not being able to make babies with a partner that would seem natural to me, is a bummer, but life is not fair to begin with, so what am I bitching about? And really, what is there to regret about something you had no say in? I could regret the shittiness of the world, but what's the use?

I cruise from time to time and in talking to other cruisers that have been arrested….none of them have ever been charged with anything.  Usually if the cop knows he has to appear in court and testify under oath, he saves himself the embarrassment of a public spectacle about his actions that led him to believe you are "cruising".  I know of at least two "friends" who have not been charged for this simple reason.  If a cop lets you touch his cock or shows it to you in a sexual manner suchas grabbing or fondling it he is entraping you. Finally(in my state North Carolina)if two guys are in a stall doing whatever, that is considered a private act as noone has the right to monitor your toilet activity. If so they are breaking NCs peeping tom law.  Long story short...if you want it that bad, get a hotel or hookup with someone who can host.

@leatherbear: COMMUNICATE both verbal and non verbal and a good time will be had by all involved!!! I'd like to reinforce what LB is saying here:  Good sex requires communication, even if he's your BF/partner and you've done it together a thousand times.  Although I like porn (don't we all, or we wouldn't be here!), I think it's unreal to have guys screwing away with no communication about what they like/want/don't like/don't want/etc. As a top for the last ten years who started out as a bottom, I think the guys you meet who have loose, floppy arses that don't stimulate your cock are probably trying too hard to relax–they've mastered that [relaxation] technique very well, and just need to be asked to clamp down a bit.  After all, they are able to tighten up when avoiding a bowel movement! For guys who are "too tight" and in pain, they're on the other side of this situation:  They need to learn to relax their sphincter.  But this is not intuitive for many guys–relaxing the sphincter is usually associated with taking a shit, and that's not something a guy--especially a novice--wants to do in the middle of sex.  But if he's empty and clean inside (which we hope is the case), nothing will come out.  I remember one college guy who had so much trouble relaxing this way that I led him into the bathroom, had him sit down on the loo, and try to shit.  When he saw that nothing would come out regardless of how much he relaxed and even pushed, he was more confident about relaxing in bed and we had a great time. A final note:  One time I hooked up with a bottom who had a genuinely small arsehole.  He relaxed completely, enjoyed immensely getting fucked, but it was so tight around my cock that I'm the one who was in mild pain--I kept putting on more lube, but it was still too tight.  I was happy when he finally came so I could pull out, and then he finished me off with his mouth.  But this guy is the exception rather than the rule, and no, I don't still have his phone number 

I tend to agree mostly with the statement - "point of obsession by nearly all mankind" I mean who can live without it? :hug: :hug: :hug:

Hi Anon, to be honest with you i don't think it's to do with either telling him and risking the loss of a friendship, or, keeping your feelings inside and bottling them up.  It is more to do with having to tell yourself that those feelings have to go, not bottle them, but to dismiss them. It's very easy for me to say this as I have had the benefit of many years experience. I also except that when one has feeling they are often very difficult to put in the back of ones mind but from what you have told me, either of the options you mention are probably of no use to you. If you can learn to accept that you simply cannot have this guy in any other way except as just friends - learn to accept this and feel any sadness that this may bring, then surely this is more healthy for you than to either risk destroying your friendship or beating yourself up by harbouring feelings.

If there's a next time, eat mustard - that will always work.

@Adorabledude: Dude I was the Football jock and a guy with a crush many times in my life… Just learn from this. If you make friends and hang with a "str8" guy, then know thats just what your doing... Your hanging with a friend. I'm not saying that something might not happen but stay real. Dont be the guy thinking it's a date, while the other guy thinks it's a beer. I lost so much time on this... it's going to be hard but you will be fine!! I agree, as I agree with many of the other posts here. I wish I had the good sense when I was your age to have asked for advice like how you did. It will be hard, and you will lose a lot of time thinking about him and guys like him, but as Adorabledude points out, you'll be fine! D

from a bisexual, these are the possibilities: 1. he is thankful that finally he has a close friend to hang out with who would understand his being half-gay. in my experience it is harder for a bisexual to find gays and straights to accept us. the gays would think we are all in denial and the straights would live in fear that if we would not snatch their girlfriends, we'd definitely molest them or something! (sorry for using the words "snatch" and "girlfriend" in the same sentence in a gay forum… LOL) i think he's just basically thankful to finally have someone to talk to about gay/bi stuff. 2. he could be just joking. i have more straight friends than gay/bi friends and they tend to joke a lot about these things when they are already comfortable with you. majority of the times, they don't mean it seriously. the open-minded straight guys even have a lot of questions about gay/bi people (albeit, most of those questions seem stupid to us) 3. he could be attracted to you and was lightly flirting with you or giving you enough hints to see if you like him too without sounding/appearing like a desperate man-slut! these are just the possibilities that i can think of. the wrong thing for you to do is to assume any one of these and act accordingly. the right thing to do and the decision that will not damage your friendship would be to talk to him about it.

well i never but filthy sex is good with anybody….. geeks - like scientists can be absolutly filthy as hell - it is so hot doctors too and plasterers and friut sellers in the street market - why stereotype your look - if it's filthy sex you desire.....