We don't have details about what was in his mind, except to see that some of his past bravado must have masked his inner conflict.
https://thepostmillennial.com/breaking-perez-hilton-has-breakdown-on-livestream-appears-to-cut-himself-repeatedly-with-knife
Social media influencer Perez Hilton, celebrity streamer and blogger, streamed himself fully nude, with a butcher knife, covered in what appeared to be his own blood, on TikTok live
Hilton is a single father with three children whom he obtained through surrogacy.
Many accounts online refused to post the video of Hilton covered in blood due to self-harm, saying that it was too graphic to share. "I just watched the TikTok livestream of Perez hilton full of cuts, trying to slice himself. It's beyond disturbing and I cannot unsee it," said [one viewer]
Others questioned whether the video was fake or if the stream was a stunt.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/perez-hilton-update-law-enforcement-called-to-house-after-tiktok-video/ar-AA29pYc0
Hilton was hospitalized in March for an ulcer he got after taking flu medication without food and developed severe sepsis that left him hospitalized for weeks. Then he was hospitalized again for deep vein thrombosis in his leg and had to have a blood clot removed. Hilton told his followers in another post that he was going to be reading the Bible for the first time and credited God for saving his life...
Hilton, whose real name is Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr., rose to fame in the mid-2000s by turning his blog, PerezHilton.com, into one of the internet’s biggest celebrity gossip destinations. Launched in 2004, the site attracted millions of readers with its mix of breaking entertainment news, sharp commentary and often controversial articles.
At a time when social media was still in its infancy, Hilton’s unfiltered approach helped reshape celebrity coverage, making him one of the most influential and polarizing voices in entertainment journalism and a regular presence on television and the red carpet.
After his hospital stay, Hilton posted a lengthy video to social media apologizing for his behavior. In the video, he said he carried with him “deep shame and regret” over some of the things he had done in the past and said he would continue to apologize and reach out to make amends to people.
“I made a lot of mistakes in my past. We all have. Nobody’s perfect,” Hilton said. “But my mistakes are very public… I have apologized publicly and privately to dozens of people.”
Hilton said in the past he did not care about whom he hurt and only cared about “the views, the attention, the money.” Hilton also said he does celebrity journalism to support his kids, his mother and also his sister who works for him.
Over the years, Hilton has spoken openly about his mental health.
In August 2014, he spoke about struggling with mental health in a YouTube video entitled “Talking About Depression,” in which he said: “I guess the lesson to be learned is, it’s good to let things out.”
In June 2019, Hilton wrote in a blog post: “I am in a dark place right now, but it’s not pitch black. I am not suffering from anxiety, thankfully. However, depression is rearing its ugly head.”
“I don’t even want to say depression, or I have it, or I’m suffering from it, cuz I hope, I think, I’m strong enough to fight that. And I’m aware that a potential problem is developing,” he said at the time.
Meanwhile in 2024, he wrote: “I am sad that I am not happy… I recently shared a video about having anxiety, but it’s more than that. I’m not angry at myself, but I feel like I’ve been blind.
“You can go from anxiety to depression, real quick. And I have been depressed, like really depressed, for a while now.”
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text “988” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.
