@charlesperr Would obviously have to know a lot more about you, so just spitballing here: You mention you've been to therapy: what sort? What were the goals of the therapy? What was the experience and background of your therapist? Someone with experience in marital issues isn't going to necessarily be good at helping someone who isn't finding connection. Have you asked the people you've hooked up with? A few years ago I was pretty stuck in my career growth and the best piece of advice was to ask people - both ones I trust and ones I'm dubious about - what they thought about certain things about myself ("Do you think I'd be good at X, why or why not?") in a structured and open-minded way. It was a pretty enlightening experience. Challenging, but led to a lot of growth. Perhaps something similar could work here: ask your ex partners why nothing more was ever established. Or ask people you were interested in / hoped something could come about, why nothing ever did. You could hear anything from, "I didn't know you were interested" to "You always seemed to busy for the the type of relationship I wanted" to who knows what. But these are people who actually interacted with you. Keep in mind that your actions are perfectly designed to get the results you're getting. You need to change your patterns of behavior. Obviously Grindr is not a dating app, and while it's not impossible to find a partner there, it's not likely most peoples' goal. Don't use Grindr or other hookup apps for 3 months. Do a lot more low-stakes, getting-to-know-you interactions (coffee, walk, socialize) and if they push for sex first or early, filter them out. Also be explicit early that you're interested in dating. Lots of guys (in my view) will lean towards hookup absent any other guidance. Being explicit about your goals will filter out bad matches early. Your 'miss' ratio will go way up, but it's the only way to make actual relationship progress. Also, something about your selection criteria is off. For whatever reason, you're selecting "fuckbois" not "relationship material". Start selecting more for what you're professing interest in. The hottest 25 year old probably isn't looking to settle down (obviously exceptions apply, but again, we're talking about your bad filtering here). Try engaging with people that you might not have in the past. Prioritize other things than attractiveness (or whatever your prioritizing now). I'm not saying go out with every fuggo out there, but someone who is maybe a "meh" will grow because they're engaging, funny, and quality relationship material. And then follow up with these guys. "Hey coffee was fun but I think we want different things" or "Coffee was fun, want to grab dinner this weekend?" So the "what's wrong with you" is the behavior isn't leading to the desired result and you keep repeating the same behavior. Change the behavior, change the result.

@cp2000 I think I've seen someone say that sexual orientation is not a choice, and that someone's either gay, bi, or straight. I also heard it was said that most people are on a spectrum that goes from straight, to bi, to gay. To a straight person having sex with the same sex is as disgusting as a gay guy having sex with a woman, but that most people are in between. That being said just because a guy likes ass play doesn't mean he's gay. There are plenty of straight guys who would let a woman fuck him with a strap on but absolutely would not like a man to fuck him at all. But I've also had sex (at least in prison) with a few hot "straight" guys... One straight guy showed me his dick saying this is what many woman loves. Then eventually he let me suck it. But outside of incarceration or whatever? I never met any straight guys who are even remotely interested in doing gay stuff or anything sexual. I don't doubt gay saunas are full of married "straight" guys who just wants sex, because getting sex from a woman isn't as simple as going into a sauna or hitting up Grindr. By the way I would love to have sex with straight boomers, not that this is ever a possibility.

@Chaser18 that really depends on how comfortable you feel around your therapist, because if you bring this topic to them, you need to be prepared to be confronted with some uncomfortable questions, or with the possibility that they might feel inapt to help you. you can go to a therapist with what you think is an issue, and they might have a different understanding. they may think your issue is actually a symptom of something else that is not related to sex at all. a sex therapist is usually better with those cases as they tend to be more open minded and have more experience with this type of patients. but a generalist therapist might be a good start, specially if you are already seeing one and have a good relationship with them.

@ianfontinell-0 It was the 70's - our parents and older siblings were fucking anything that walked on 2 legs, so we followed suit! It helped that I was a latchkey-kid - so I had the house to myself for a few hours each day in the afternoons... I sported an all-over tan in the summer - a shocker to classmates with whom I went on a spring trip to Spain - when we got to the beach in Torremolinos, nearly all the guys were naked and the women topless... so I shucked my shorts, and the girls followed suit taking off their tops (not without some prompting).. the problem was: their tits hadn't seen direct sunlight - EVER! Those white-skinned tits shone like beacons in the sun, and most (all-but-one) of them wound up with SERIOUS sunburn (even tho we were from FL)! Keep in mind - in those days, they sold "tanning oil" not "sunscreen" LOL

Bottom. Tried to top once. Didn't go well. I guess i've always been a bottom.

If a guy is big enough that I can feel my throat stretch/bulge taking it, there's no other way that I want him to cum than right down my throat. That feeling coupled with having to control my breathing/lack of oxygen puts me into a trance and I can't get enough/i get real piggy and cumming directly down my throat like I'm just a fleshjack is a lovely cherry on top. That said, in my everyday life I prefer to taste/savor it a bit more.

@OKCancel-0 Since it's not about a transgender person who committed murder or rape, it's not interesting to him.

@ianfontinell-0 No . It's a shame the other guy decided to transition. He was a good fuck

Wow, South Park saw it back in 2014. That criminals - Cartman, or in our world, rapists - would wreck Trans issue, mis-use it for advantage. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXio40pl3FI "But, this isn't a hurting confused [person] we're talking about - it's Eric Cartman!" Episode was finally pro-Trans. Randy was revealed to be singer Lorde & as Lorde, he got to use female bathrooms. Oh wait - episode was written by 2 males. Well-meaning males. But it seems, they didn't ask actual females if they like to shit next to males. Hmm.

@Kinkys-0 There's another video here on this site where the bottom is pissing himself while being fisted and having billiard balls inserted into his hole.

I had a similar case but I was the hookup, it started all just nice, after the sex dude started talking about past romances, I honestly don't know why people do this. I thought it was bad enough but then he started to teach me about League of Legends out of absolutely nowhere. Just like you, I don't actually care, but I do my best to listen, but in my case it was a oner, while with you things seem to be developing a pattern, exchanging sex for emotional support, if anyone is using the other it is happening mutually. Even though you don't particularly care for his problems, if you're at least somewhat of a nice person, you'll be interested in not help making his problems worse by taking part in his harmful behavior. You could simply ask why he is on Grindr when he clearly has not got over his ex. Maybe he thinks this is what he needs to overcome it, or maybe he just wants the sex as he works on it somewhere else. Probably he didn't even put much thought to it.

@Sleepyalot Contrary to popular belief, piss isn’t sterile. It can carry bacteria (and viruses, if the top is infected). It’s riskier when it comes into contact with mucous areas like the anus. The top drinking lots of water can dilute the piss, reducing the likelihood of irritation or inflammation, but this doesn’t lower the risk of STIs. If you’re already going bareback, piss isn’t a huge deal STI-wise, but it’s still one more transmission vector. The primary risk comes from semen and blood, though piss can contribute. With or without it, you’re already committing to the risk of infection. I’d argue it’s less risky to drink it than to have it inside you elsewhere, as the digestive system is better equipped to process bacteria and other agents, unlike the anus, which is particularly vulnerable. It is something that I would definitely be prone to experimenting occasionaly with people I trust, but not something to be doing frequently, specially with unknown partners. And of course, always make sure to clean properly afterwards to reduce the risk of irritation.

@ianfontinell-0 your primary concern is how many times I used the word "trans". I did that because I don't know what pronouns to use for this person. The person I am referring to has said they don't even know what to call themselves! This person doesn't understand the situation, I don't understand it, and I am not sure this mess can ever wind up not destroying a lot of lives. It seems that this person with XY grew up heavily conflicted because the parents allowed a male cousin to fuck this person hundreds of times from the ages of 3 to 17 (5 to 19 for the cousin) and how could they have not known? The person says he/she feels guilty because of enjoying the sex, but now calls it rape. Now he/she says that he/she loves raping straight guys! WTF is that? He/she even posted photos of all the cuts made with razor blades, and explained that he/she hid those cuts with bracelets. As for the family of this person, it seems that the slightly older sister and this person don't speak. The mother ignored the situation, while the father ENCOURAGED it! (he is a mega woke freak). The problem now is the person's psychiatrist decided that the person should change names from a very MALE name to very FEMALE name, start using the pronouns SHE/HER instead of HE/HIS, and get rid of the gay boyfriend and get a straight boyfriend. The person did everything the psychiatrist advised, but it has not solved the problem. The person is still saying he/she wants to commit suicide and said it WILL do that once Trump is president. The person is also feminizing the straight boyfriend, and giving him estrogen in his food without his knowledge. This person calls itself an "EVIL BITCH" so I am at a loss to know how to refer to him/her. One other perplexing thing. Anybody that says he/she is "beautiful" get's blocked! Does not make any rational sense.

@ianfontinell-0 Very helpful - thanks for such a reasoned and detailed response. Guess I'll just have to sit down and grind through my database manually. Maybe one day I'll be able to monetize my beautifully tagged database! (dream on...... )

@eobox91103 there is also the issue of someone ELSE sticking their cock in the same vagina you stuck your cock into.. and that other cock is what caused the pregnancy.. but YOU are assumed to be the daddy.