Am I Ugly?
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Does the Pope :pope: protect pedaphiles?
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Dude, you're not ugly. In fact, you're someone I'd hang out with. Beauty comes from within. And outwardly, you have nothing to worry about. It's been said that there's someone for everyone. And I truly believe you will find that person. We can all sit here and beat ourselves up about the way we look .. but when it comes down to it, looks are nothing. The heart, in the end, is the only thing that will keep beating through the thicks and the thins of a relationship. You could fall into a vat of acid tomorrow, and looks will fade. But it's the heart, in the end, that will carry you through anything in your life. Keep God first, and keep in prayer. It will happen for you. I'm assured.
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With more squared frames, the lenses themselves would not only be that slight little bit larger, but I think they would also help to bring out your cheeks better, and would look like they're better fitted to your face. This would not only help to give you a sophisticated look, but I also think that they'd help to work with your facial features, bring out your cheeks more without making them appear to be so rounded, and most of all, would make them look more like they belong.
I appreciate the long winded response.
For a minute, just reread what you said above. This could actually be a very valid point. The problem is, I am not so sure most people are looking at a picture and thinking that deeply about what they see. It is typically a "I like it" or "I don't like it". They might go back, study the picture, and come to the same conclusion as well. This though would come after an introductory message has been responded to, or sent off. I never receive that message.
Realize… There is a reason why we live in a swipe right / left dating culture. People want to weed through and get what they want. I might be wrong, but I don't think they take part in many pre-decision analytics.
I know it's hard to deal with at times, especially with the constant rejection, but don't let that discourage you from trying. I know all too well what it feels like to just give up trying to connect with people for fear of the rejection. I know all too well that you can only get rejected so many times before eventually, it begins to hurt, and you can't help but wonder if you're either ugly, or have some kind of unsightly skin condition like Leprosy, and after a while, it becomes one hell of a bitch of a blow to the self-esteem.
I really don't have a fear of rejection. I have been rejected so many times for dates, friendships, and jobs, that I have become most times pretty numb to the process. Sure, it still bothers me, but it never really puts me off from trying again.
The second thing you said is more accurate. After about 10 years of doing this with zero success, you really need to start evaluating yourself. Lets be honest.. there is only a certain degree that you can blame others. And when you have reached the level of dating failure that I have, it is almost obvious that something is going wrong on your end. It might not be that I am ugly, but it is a question that needs to be asked, even more so since family, friends, and supporters are typically not honest about the answer.
I am in therapy (for various reasons), and who I see now is someone that has tons of experience with LGBT couples and dating. I had him as an expert look at my dating profile and pictures, where even he told me that he can't find anything wrong with what I am doing. I have consulted other people as well. No one can figure it out. So this isn't an as much crying in the corner saying "why me", but instead an overwhelming frustration, because I want to fix what is going wrong.
I have lived in Chicago and West Hollywood, two very gay cities. I have gone out to bars in each city, and received very little attention. I have even created fake profiles on dating sites, displaying my actual profile content, but with fake pictures. While I do not respond to messages (I never meant to catfish), they get tons of activity without me doing anything. So really.. if I am not ugly, why are lack of results being determined based on attractiveness?
Maybe it is because I'm into young twinkish guys. I just find it hard to believe that none like an older guy.
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Maybe it is because I'm into young twinkish guys. I just find it hard to believe that none like an older guy.
Ah yes… From my experience, the younger ones are way more narrow-minded and shallow than they were even when I was still just a twinkie. A lot of the ones that I've seen will take one look at the long hair and keep scrolling sadly.
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Not that I am all too interested, but I can't even get a hook up on Grindr.
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You're not ugly.
You are making yourself look "unflattering".
Get a different hair cut. Wear contacts or get better shaped glasses.
Fix the teeth if possible.
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Maybe it is because I'm into young twinkish guys. I just find it hard to believe that none like an older guy.
Oh, yes, this definitely makes a difference. While there are always exceptions, twinks on the whole tend to be oblivious to just how shallow and superficial they can be, according to my observations. Not many (statistically speaking) have the emotional maturity or life experience to see past things like hairstyle, weight, etc.
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If I was able to get passed the introduction phase, I think I could easily rock it. I communicate well, have a set of interests, and so on. My problem is getting the initial introduction. Since they have not talked to me, and do not yet know what I have to offer, physical attractiveness is all they have to go by.
This is exactly why choosing the right picture is important. I know you said you don't want to "trick" guys with your photo, but there is a general understanding in online dating that people choose a profile picture that paints them in the best light. Using a photo in which you are 10 years younger or 30 kg lighter is certainly deceitful to me (unless you have a good reason for using that photo and make it clear that you don't look that way anymore). I think taking off your glasses for a photo to show your face is perfectly acceptable, though. On sites that allow more than one photo, you can add some with the glasses to show the diversity of how you can look.
I guess the real question is this: Assuming a better picture gets you more real-life meetings, is it worth having a few guys feel tricked if it also means someone will be possibly disappointed at first, but stick around long enough to start liking who you are?
To answer your question, what started the conversation off with my boyfriend, whom I have not found attractive at first. We corresponded on-line (one of dating sites) for a year… Exchanging a message once every few weeks/months. And I probably would have not met him (we lived far away) on my own initiative. But he wanted to come and meet me up at an airport when I was returning from holidays in my home country. I had to stay at a hotel to take the train next morning. He kind of convinced me to let him stay... (originally I wanted to meet for breakfast)...
And then I found out lots of attractive things about him. He wore very cheap clothes, because he liked to save (impressive). He had an upper class accent as he went to a boarding school. Had a dry sense of humour. Was into a lot of the same things as me - learning, history, politics... He also had a massive cock and knew how to use it. And was super enthusiastic about me. So that's how it began. Later on he became very attractive to me even though he looked 20 years older than his actual age
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I can't really tell from the pictures but do the glasses make your eyes look magnified?.. if so, that kind of effect could be affecting your appearance negatively.
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Do things that improve your confidence in yourself - stop trying to please others - if you spend too much time trying to please others then you get nowhere, in my opinion.
The sexiest men who exude a lack of confidence may seem to get more offers - but those offers get retracted, quite quickly - it is hard to do because extreme arrogance is also a turn off - even in the way you write your profiles online can be telling on your confidence level. Trust in yourself and fake it a little (NO LYING though lol)
be comfortable in your own skin.. treat yourself.. if you are concerned about your hair or your glasses - treat yourself, save the money and change them
Hair is easy to change - go to a hairdresser, one you trust or has good reviews in your area and, without going in to too much detail, explain you are after a new look and ask them for advice on something that would suit you
I wear glasses too - I understand 1000% they are not cheap but I see it like this - They are the only thing we wear every. single. day. of my life (unless you have multiple pairs lol )
I see people complain about glasses costs but then spend $200 on a pair of shoes they wear 3x
invest in yourself - you are not ugly and noone is perfect to everyone - no matter what ppl say
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Gay world is full of drama. I know that one would wonder when a guy you send your pic on grindr says not interested or "you are not my type"…. But the main thing to remember is that "Just be yourself"
Also now a days, you can get a lot of inspiration and ideas from Youtube. There are hundreds of videos posted that shows you how to dress well, how to impress people, how to have clear skin, how to have attractive hairstyle. Just see and make a change for yourself -
A haircut may be in order
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Nah.
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how abt change ur long hair….and start to leave some beard on.....take off ur glasses.....and hit the gym to become really muscular......then u ll be one of the gods :P......u have the great potential to be hot....dont give urself up
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no
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