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    How do you make gay friends in your 30's?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Family & Friends
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    • jkronfussJ Offline
      jkronfuss
      last edited by

      It's funny, but most of my friends came from dates that backfired, now I'm quite happy I went to meet them for in the end, a real and better relationship developed: true friendship.  😊

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      • DremricD Offline
        Dremric
        last edited by

        ….with wine, it has this weird effect on people  :laugh:

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        • S Offline
          smbchguy
          last edited by

          Act like your in your teens, or early 20's.  It seemed much easier to make friends back then.  I assume that is because our lives were much easier back then, little responsibilities, we weren't as street wise (read: jaded), and we usually met doing things that we had in common!
          :blownose:

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          • Y Offline
            yout71
            last edited by

            Just be handsome

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            • D Offline
              duamam
              last edited by

              It's definitely hard. At work people always have to keep a professional facade and I'm slow to warm up to people and very shy so that also doesn't help. If you are in big cities, there may be some gay meetup groups that are worth checking out. And yes, being handsome helps (I am not so there is that). But so does confidence

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              • K Offline
                Kenjiyounge
                last edited by

                @vlady:

                It's always hard and to keep long lasting friendships. Good thumb of the rule is that you cannot force it and it cannot happen over the night so it is best to go with the flow. If you are in a new environment, it's best to be pro-active and seek out your hobbies and interests. Go out and about, try to mingle. Internet is the common medium these days to do all sorts of communication, and one advice is to use maybe a meetup.com up and seek some common interests. It's hard and you really need to make an effort, comfort zone is somwhere you cannot be.

                I like being with guys, but I will get bored of sex when a few months later. I do not know what to do. I still like the guy, more like brother type… Is it common?

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                • L Offline
                  lsoares
                  last edited by

                  I'm on my 20's so I wouldn't know. But I suppose the best way to make friends is through mutual interests and other friends. I'm very shy normally and the friends that I have mostly come from College/University, but I feel that apps and websites really don't work well most of the times. I suggest trying to pursue a hobby, anything, biking, running, shooting, fighting, dancing. Something you that demands you, and other people, to get out of their comfort zone. It's on those occasions I feel connections are really made.  😉

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                  • J Offline
                    JohnAllenson
                    last edited by

                    I live in a big city (Toronto) where there are a lot of social groups from things like sports to movies to religious groups.

                    If you like movies see whether there's a Facebook group for people to see movies together.  Is there a gay/welcoming Church?  I know people who met a lot of their friends through MCCT.  I'm heavily into Science Fiction/Fantasy and most of my friends are also people involved in that.

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                    • Y Offline
                      yayahiloude
                      last edited by

                      make a female friend who has gay friends and steal the ones you like

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                      • F Offline
                        flozen
                        last edited by

                        @yayahiloude:

                        make a female friend who has gay friends and steal the ones you like

                        So far, this thread has been really interesting, containing some good advice on making friends when you're past 30, 40, and so on.

                        The response from yayahiloude made me laugh and it's good advice, except you can SHARE your female friends' gay pals, rather than STEAL them, of course.

                        The tips from JohnAllenson about types of groups to join are also very on target.

                        And I agree with the posters who have made friends from a computer-matched "coffee date" or any "first date" that doesn't click sexually.  As long as no one gets catty when the "sexual interest" fails to appear, imperfect dates can turn into great friends.

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                        • T Offline
                          tim23tam
                          last edited by

                          It somehow feels that the older I get, the harder it is to build something new, friendship-wise. I'm in my 30's and I had a really hard time making friends during my younger days. I'm officially screwed then. Lol.

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                          • 9 Offline
                            987654
                            last edited by

                            I'm so glad I'm not the only one dealing with this.

                            Just about to hit 30 and I do not have a lot of social outreach. My friends are all out of state, including the one gay guy I knew. Right now I have some online friends but it's not the same.

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                            • T Offline
                              tuborgnew100
                              last edited by

                              So if anybody need over 30 friend online, send me your Telegram id in private message and let's try  🙂 (not sex)

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