Any guy here who is actually close to his father ?
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it's weird that a lot of gay guys i know are not close to their fathers (or are closer to their mothers). same thing with me. i mean, i would change it if i could and be closer and nicer to him but we're like polar opposites in our convictions but similar in our attitudes, like we're both stubborn and unyielding.
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Being gay is both biologically and environmentally predisposed. So both your anatomy and your surroundings contribute. It has been noted that in gays a part of the preoptic nucleus of the hypothalamus (a part of your 'brain') is bigger than in straight fellas.
My dad was always very absent, so I was always closer to my mom. I liked playing with dolls and hanged out with mostly girls, so my dad, being from the military, was always very passively reproachful towards me. I came out this year - I'm 23 y.o. - and my dad threatened to kill me, said I should start eating with plastic dishes so that I didn't spread any diseases to the rest of the family (he gave me oral herpes when I was like 3, so lol). So yeah, I hate him ofc.
My boyfriend's dad is, on the other hand, his best friend. They go on trips together, watch movies etc.
To each his own, but there's definitely a pattern.
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I was very close to my father. We had similar interests and shared them. Once he knew I was gay, it took him a while to accept it, but both he and my mother did. I loved him very much.
He died without any warning on Christmas Eve 2001. I had spoken to him the day before on the phone of what my mom and he were going to be doing; they were to have travelled after the holiday. Things in my life started to go very bad for me after his death – and I have only just started to recover this year.
I no longer can enjoy Christmas and I have come to loath the time between the USA Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve. I do my best to avoid anything related to these holidays, but since they saturate American culture it is extremely difficult to do.
I developed chronic depression and panic disorders several years before my Dad died, so the entire month of December is basically a misery to me.
. . .
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I was very close to my father. We had similar interests and shared them. Once he knew I was gay, it took him a while to accept it, but both he and my mother did. I loved him very much.
He died without any warning on Christmas Eve 2001. I had spoken to him the day before on the phone of what my mom and he were going to be doing; they were to have travelled after the holiday. Things in my life started to go very bad for me after his death – and I have only just started to recover this year.
I no longer can enjoy Christmas and I have come to loath the time between the USA Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve. I do my best to avoid anything related to these holidays, but since they saturate American culture it is extremely difficult to do.
I developed chronic depression and panic disorders several years before my Dad died, so the entire month of December is basically a misery to me.
. . .
Very moving…I'm sorry to know how this time of year affects you, but still wish you the best in getting through it.
Take care.
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I can't say I was never close to my dad. Seems like I was on my own path and for some reason we never saw each other.
Not that he didn't try but I was way too rebellious to let that happen.
I eventually became closer to my mother.
But when my mother got sick with cancer I had to go spend some time with my dad (a few months) before she passed away.
We had a lot of time to spend and we got to know each other. I realise I never really knew him.
The reason we butt heads was because we were both a lot alike.
It's been about 2 1/2 years since my mother has passed and we talk on the phone every day.
We've become super close and for an old guy he's a great guy.
I love my dad :love: -
I can't say I was never close to my dad. Seems like I was on my own path and for some reason we never saw each other.
Not that he didn't try but I was way too rebellious to let that happen.
I eventually became closer to my mother.
But when my mother got sick with cancer I had to go spend some time with my dad (a few months) before she passed away.
We had a lot of time to spend and we got to know each other. I realise I never really knew him.
The reason we butt heads was because we were both a lot alike.
It's been about 2 1/2 years since my mother has passed and we talk on the phone every day.
We've become super close and for an old guy he's a great guy.
I love my dad :love:
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I have a close and good relationship with my father.
It is funny in a way though, he is very conservative and makes rude comments about gays all the time, though he apologizes to me and my boyfriend saying that we aren't like those others.
His wife, not my mom, always hits him when he makes the comments.
He has always been supportive and loving to me and mine.I guess it depends on both parties not just one side.
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well my father is technically still alive although I can't wait for him to die though the old b**** is 70, rich and can't seem to die soon like my grand father who is around 90, smoked and drank all his life and was never sick. I wouldn't like to die before this guy. My mom died when I was like 15 and he hated her. she died because of him. When I was like 23 I already wasn't talking to him for years ( I left home at 17 for college) he wrote me a letter on my birthday to tell me that well I'm not his son anymore and that's it. I never prosecuted him for making him to pay for my food and stuff because I thought my mom wouldn't like that. But I regret. I couldn't eat every day while he was getting around 15 000 euros/month . When he'll die I wont get a dime because he disowned me. Still earth will be a better place without him.
For some life's not a joy ride. trust me ;D -
well my father is technically still alive although I can't wait for him to die though the old b**** is 70, rich and can't seem to die soon like my grand father who is around 90, smoked and drank all his life and was never sick. I wouldn't like to die before this guy. My mom died when I was like 15 and he hated her. she died because of him. When I was like 23 I already wasn't talking to him for years ( I left home at 17 for college) he wrote me a letter on my birthday to tell me that well I'm not his son anymore and that's it. I never prosecuted him for making him to pay for my food and stuff because I thought my mom wouldn't like that. But I regret. I couldn't eat every day while he was getting around 15 000 euros/month . When he'll die I wont get a dime because he disowned me. Still earth will be a better place without him.
For some life's not a joy ride. trust me ;DMine is 70 too and still have energy to bitch about me all the time! I'm pretty sure mom will die first and he'll be around for decades. always the fuckers stick around ::)
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my father is so kind man we r good friends
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I have been forgiven him when he was gone. I think may be he is not so bad, I just don't understand him and his family. so I really missed him sometimes.
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I have a good relationship with my father.
He and his wife know my bf and don't have any problems with me or him.
It is funny though, he is an ultraconservative and doesn't like 'gays' as he puts it but he accepts me and mine.His wife keeps him in line occasionally; we we're in Vina del mar, Chile and he saw a group of gay guys and made a bad comment, his wife hit him hard and said be respectful of your son. He commented that his son was okay he just didn't care for other people being gay.
I accept him as he accepts me.
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Oh… where to start... basically a case of 'money fixes all', I was the kid which parents like to scream at each others faces... I to this day don't get how my mother been betrayed, annoyed and insulted, still keeps on that pretense of marriage... I got 'presents' not hugs or a kind word when I needed one... an excellent in a maths test or science class, that would be silence nothing else, they were always the superior ones... Me having bad grades? Oh we could not have that! Me being depressed, detatched and socially borderline? We could not have that! A case of 'just bare with it' mother and a 'pretend you are better' father, and a deafening where do we go from here question that haunts me on-and-on thanks to that upbringing.
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nope never have been
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He's one of my best mates - can talk to him about 98% of things.
We had a physical fight decades ago and didn'e speak for 7 years. -
meu pai é ótima pessoa
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I'm not
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My Dad died ten years ago. There hasn't been a day since then that I don't think about him, and miss him. He was a minister, in the Lutheran Church, one of the more liberal and progressive synods of the Lutheran Church. At his funeral, three of his colleagues and the bishop all gave eulogies, which was powerful, because it gave us - his five sons - a picture of how highly his colleagues and peers respected him - a side of him that we didn't really know about. For months afterwards, my brothers and I would get notes and emails from names we barely remembered - members of the churches whose lives my Dad had touched: "your Dad saved our marriage 20 years ago" and "your father performed a funeral service for my son when my own pastor would not," and similar stories. These were stories that we kids didn't know about, we were too young, but we would ask my Mom whenever we got these cards or emails or notes, and she'd have to think about it before she remembered, and then she'd say, "Oh yes, that was so-and-so, and your Dad did…" whatever the story was. All these things he did, and that was his job... and we didn't know, he was just Dad to us. He left behind a legacy of the lives he had touched, and now we were hearing back about them. It was incredibly powerful.
One time we were talking about some of his old parishes and the congregations, and I asked him out of all those years, and all those parishioners and their issues, what stuck out most for him, what was the most important role he performed? Without hesitating, without having to think about the answer, he looked me straight in the eye, and said "Being a father to my boys; raising my sons."
When I came out, at first he thought I was playing a joke, or going through a phase that would pass, but finally he said, "I don't understand it myself, but it doesn't matter; you're my son and I have always loved you, I love you now and I always will." And that was that. A year or two before he died, I asked him what he thought about same-sex marriage, and he answered honestly: he didn't know; he'd have to give it some thought, it was a new idea and he had never had to consider it (he was already retired by this time). But he took the marriage vows seriously - in his mind, he was joining two people together spiritually and forever, as the marriage vows state, and that this union was approved by God. Dad's role was merely to see it carried out. He would not perform a marriage ceremony unless the couple first agreed to and completed 8 weeks of pre-marital counseling with him. Two of these sessions would take place in his office, at our house, and we always knew when that was happening... "someone from the church is here" which meant no bothering Dad if his office door was closed. Now, we were a family with 5 rambunctious boys - loud, competitive, fighting as often as playing. Why would Dad require two of these pre-marital counseling sessions at the house? We didn't know this then, but he wanted to see the couples' reactions to the noise of children doing what children do - play, fight, squabble, run around, make noise... act like children. He wanted to see how they'd react. He took this part of being a minister with all seriousness.
After his funeral, I was standing near the door to the chapel, it was snowing outside, but one of the attendees came back from his car and talked to me at the door. He was one of Dad's caretakers in the last few weeks before he died. He asked me if I was one of his sons, and which one, so I told him. He said the most amazing thing - "your Dad said you asked him a question once about getting married and he didn't have an answer back then. But he said to me that he had thought it all over, and that you should know, he was fine with it, he didn't see any reason not to perform a marriage for anybody - as long as he could be sure the couple was taking the vow seriously, it didn't matter to him what sex or gender they were."
I cannot tell you what it felt like to hear that, and in those circumstances. But that was my Dad. Yes, I miss him, terribly.
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I'm totally close to my father but not b/c I'm in relationship with another man!
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no
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