Do you tell new friends your gay right away or wait?
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I don't ever bring it up. It's not that I'm ashamed of being gay, I just don't like the idea of bringing unnecessary attention to the fact. I'm a bit uncomfortable with the idea that it may come to "define" me if I choose to discuss it without being prompted to, because I don't think my being gay should warrant any more attention than someone else's being straight does.
I don't have a problem telling people I'm gay if they ask, and I've dropped hints about it without directly saying I'm gay many times. It's not a secret any more than it is a celebration with me, it just "is".
Still, I do think people knowing off the bat would go a long way in avoiding any possible confusion or misunderstandings down the road.
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i think we should wait.. take one step at a time…we may never know how tolerant he is towards being gay..
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Never, who knows if he will be your friend forever.
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I'll wait. Since I live in a country where there is only a very few people who tolerate people like us, I have to be really careful when it comes about coming out. I need to really know and trust them very much then I can decide whether I want to tell them or not.
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I live in London so culture isn't too much of an issue.
But I would always wait. To be honest I would only ever want to bring it up to someone that I felt close enough to have a discusssion about sex with. Otherwise it's irrelevant.
I usually get asked though (which I really prefer people wouldn't do).
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I usually wait
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i think its easier to tell them when youve known them for a long time, as for new friends i prefer to wait and get a grip on their feelings about it first
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Well I definitely don't immediately tell people I'm gay when I introduce myself. Since I fit a few stereotypes I don't usually have to tell people, but if I don't tell them at some point I have to deal with that stupid game of them subtly trying to get me to bring it up. I take the first opportunity to come out to people just to get it over with, like when they ask if I'm dating any women, or if a thing a girl is hot, or I drop the name of a known gay bar when talking about clubs and bars. I don't like investing time in relationships with people who will have an issue with my sexuality so that's why I think it's best to get it out of the way as soon as possible.
In professional situations, I will probably never mention my sexuality unless there's some kind of workplace diversity activity taking place or if my not saying I'm gay would lead to a lie including lies of omission. I live in the United States and the state I live in has laws in place that prohibit workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation so I'm never worried about how it would impact my job, I just don't think it's professional to discuss these topics unless it's somehow work related.
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I test the waters and wait. First I need to test the kind of person they are - as in if they'll 'out' me just because they're that kind of douche, and if they're naturally opposed to it or not. I won't be fake if they're homophobic, I'll just cut them out and go on going on!
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Wait a long time…
If her/his mentality matches mine, then only I tell them about myself. -
you dont necessarily have to tell them, just drop hints and they'll get it nowadays
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You can never really know what another person is thinking. If they cannot accept you for who you are then they are hardly your friends. I wouldn't do it because I don't want my individual identity to be lost inside a label.
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I think its best to wait because you don't really know the person really well
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if i don't see any specific reason to tell it i won't, if they ask i'll answer.
in my book it's a bit like religion or vegans, no need to shove it into people's face, no need to hide it
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I wait until the ask.
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Don't ask, don't tell. Simple.
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I will definitely not tell any str8 friends. Few people accept that and I may receive unwanted criticism.
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I don't really have too many straight friends.
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My core group of close friends (most of whom are straight) all know and we are fine. I don't hide it from new friends, but I also don't wave it in their faces. If it comes up then I answer them honestly and if they have a problem with it then I know they aren't really my friend.
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