• Categories
    • Recent
    • Tags
    • Popular
    • Users
    • Groups
    • Torrents
    • Login

    Do you tell new friends your gay right away or wait?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Family & Friends
    25 Posts 23 Posters 32.5k Views 1 Watching
    Loading More Posts
    • Oldest to Newest
    • Newest to Oldest
    • Most Votes
    Reply
    • Reply as topic
    Log in to reply
    This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
    • L Offline
      landerkay
      last edited by

      I usually tell people up front

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • G Offline
        gerb930
        last edited by

        I wait because in our coutry the people are highly against gays.So thats why i am carefull

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • T Offline
          tommyboy717
          last edited by

          I tell them if it comes up or asking about why i don't go crazy about girls, so i don't lie about it and also don't advertise it 😉

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • S Offline
            SemenDemon
            last edited by

            I don't ever bring it up. It's not that I'm ashamed of being gay, I just don't like the idea of bringing unnecessary attention to the fact. I'm a bit uncomfortable with the idea that it may come to "define" me if I choose to discuss it without being prompted to, because I don't think my being gay should warrant any more attention than someone else's being straight does.

            I don't have a problem telling people I'm gay if they ask, and I've dropped hints about it without directly saying I'm gay many times. It's not a secret any more than it is a celebration with me, it just "is".

            Still, I do think people knowing off the bat would go a long way in avoiding any possible confusion or misunderstandings down the road.

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • X Offline
              xclr8
              last edited by

              i think we should wait.. take one step at a time…we may never know how tolerant he is towards being gay..

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • P Offline
                pwa
                last edited by

                Never, who knows if he will be your friend forever.

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • P Offline
                  poltergeist
                  last edited by

                  I'll wait. Since I live in a country where there is only a very few people who tolerate people like us, I have to be really careful when it comes about coming out. I need to really know and trust them very much then I can decide whether I want to tell them or not.

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • H Offline
                    hw597
                    last edited by

                    I live in London so culture isn't too much of an issue.

                    But I would always wait.  To be honest I would only ever want to bring it up to someone that I felt close enough to have a discusssion about sex with. Otherwise it's irrelevant.

                    I usually get asked though (which I really prefer people wouldn't do).

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • K Offline
                      karllos37
                      last edited by

                      I usually wait

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • W Offline
                        wesleyrayne
                        last edited by

                        i think its easier to tell them when youve known them for a long time, as for new friends i prefer to wait and get a grip on their feelings about it first

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • phrereP Offline
                          phrere
                          last edited by

                          Well I definitely don't immediately tell people I'm gay when I introduce myself.  Since I fit a few stereotypes I don't usually have to tell people, but if I don't tell them at some point I have to deal with that stupid game of them subtly trying to get me to bring it up.  I take the first opportunity to come out to people just to get it over with, like when they ask if I'm dating any women, or if a thing a girl is hot, or I drop the name of a known gay bar when talking about clubs and bars.  I don't like investing time in relationships with people who will have an issue with my sexuality so that's why I think it's best to get it out of the way as soon as possible.

                          In professional situations, I will probably never mention my sexuality unless there's some kind of workplace diversity activity taking place or if my not saying I'm gay would lead to a lie including lies of omission.  I live in the United States and the state I live in has laws in place that prohibit workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation so I'm never worried about how it would impact my job, I just don't think it's professional to discuss these topics unless it's somehow work related.

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • W Offline
                            wesleyrayne
                            last edited by

                            @gerb930:

                            I wait because in our coutry the people are highly against gays.So thats why i am carefull

                            it definately depends on which country youre from i agree

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • KarofskyK Offline
                              Karofsky
                              last edited by

                              I test the waters and wait. First I need to test the kind of person they are - as in if they'll 'out' me just because they're that kind of douche, and if they're naturally opposed to it or not. I won't be fake if they're homophobic, I'll just cut them out and go on going on!

                              Rest in Peace
                              Cory Monteith
                              1982 - 2013
                              @};–

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • F Offline
                                frontlemon
                                last edited by

                                Wait a long time…
                                If her/his mentality matches mine, then only I tell them about myself.

                                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • W Offline
                                  wesleyrayne
                                  last edited by

                                  you dont necessarily have to tell them, just drop hints and they'll get it nowadays

                                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • J Offline
                                    JACK777
                                    last edited by

                                    You can never really know what another person is thinking. If they cannot accept you for who you are then they are hardly your friends. I wouldn't do it because I don't want my individual identity to be lost inside a label.

                                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • S Offline
                                      samuel15
                                      last edited by

                                      I think its best to wait because you don't really know the person really well

                                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • M Offline
                                        mentaikotest
                                        last edited by

                                        if i don't see any specific reason to tell it i won't, if they ask i'll answer.

                                        in my book it's a bit like religion or vegans, no need to shove it into people's face, no need to hide it

                                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • F Offline
                                          fkmenowpls
                                          last edited by

                                          I wait until the ask.

                                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • K Offline
                                            KaiX
                                            last edited by

                                            Don't ask, don't tell. Simple.

                                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0

                                            Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.

                                            Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.

                                            With your input, this post could be even better 💗

                                            Register Login
                                            • 1
                                            • 2
                                            • 1 / 2
                                            • First post
                                              Last post