Hey i thought i'd reply here because we seem to be into the same kind of stuff (at least as far as the dom thing is concerned).
I agree with you nto a lot of movies fit the bill. I would suggest movies from straighthell, which are quite nice. I would also suggest you check videos with Jordan Fox, he is quite dominating and don't shy away from face slapping his bottom or spit in his face. Have a look at the clip called "breathless" in particular, you should like it.
i totally get what you say about straight porn filling the bill better in that way. i would advise you to go either to xtube or xhamster or xvideos and look up brazzers videos, especially the ones with scott nails. hardsextube is a good source for that kind of dom videos too.
have a check of the video on gaytorrent called truckers from vvvideo.ru, this one was quite nice as the guys are quite tough. they even hit each other at one point (over tv settings), not only the sub, which is quite funny (and manly).
and like you i'm not into accessories and direct contact so hopefully this helps a little!
good luck and stay in touch if you find movies you like as i probably will be interested too
