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    Do you tell new friends your gay right away or wait?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Family & Friends
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    • phrereP Offline
      phrere
      last edited by

      Well I definitely don't immediately tell people I'm gay when I introduce myself.  Since I fit a few stereotypes I don't usually have to tell people, but if I don't tell them at some point I have to deal with that stupid game of them subtly trying to get me to bring it up.  I take the first opportunity to come out to people just to get it over with, like when they ask if I'm dating any women, or if a thing a girl is hot, or I drop the name of a known gay bar when talking about clubs and bars.  I don't like investing time in relationships with people who will have an issue with my sexuality so that's why I think it's best to get it out of the way as soon as possible.

      In professional situations, I will probably never mention my sexuality unless there's some kind of workplace diversity activity taking place or if my not saying I'm gay would lead to a lie including lies of omission.  I live in the United States and the state I live in has laws in place that prohibit workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation so I'm never worried about how it would impact my job, I just don't think it's professional to discuss these topics unless it's somehow work related.

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      • W Offline
        wesleyrayne
        last edited by

        @gerb930:

        I wait because in our coutry the people are highly against gays.So thats why i am carefull

        it definately depends on which country youre from i agree

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        • KarofskyK Offline
          Karofsky
          last edited by

          I test the waters and wait. First I need to test the kind of person they are - as in if they'll 'out' me just because they're that kind of douche, and if they're naturally opposed to it or not. I won't be fake if they're homophobic, I'll just cut them out and go on going on!

          Rest in Peace
          Cory Monteith
          1982 - 2013
          @};–

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          • F Offline
            frontlemon
            last edited by

            Wait a long time…
            If her/his mentality matches mine, then only I tell them about myself.

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            • W Offline
              wesleyrayne
              last edited by

              you dont necessarily have to tell them, just drop hints and they'll get it nowadays

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              • J Offline
                JACK777
                last edited by

                You can never really know what another person is thinking. If they cannot accept you for who you are then they are hardly your friends. I wouldn't do it because I don't want my individual identity to be lost inside a label.

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                • S Offline
                  samuel15
                  last edited by

                  I think its best to wait because you don't really know the person really well

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                  • M Offline
                    mentaikotest
                    last edited by

                    if i don't see any specific reason to tell it i won't, if they ask i'll answer.

                    in my book it's a bit like religion or vegans, no need to shove it into people's face, no need to hide it

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                    • F Offline
                      fkmenowpls
                      last edited by

                      I wait until the ask.

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                      • K Offline
                        KaiX
                        last edited by

                        Don't ask, don't tell. Simple.

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                        • E Offline
                          Equestrian
                          last edited by

                          I will definitely not tell any str8 friends. Few people accept that and I may receive unwanted criticism.

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                          • A Offline
                            aadam101
                            last edited by

                            I don't really have too many straight friends.

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                            • B Offline
                              brianboru72
                              last edited by

                              My core group of close friends (most of whom are straight) all know and we are fine. I don't hide it from new friends, but I also don't wave it in their faces. If it comes up then I answer them honestly and if they have a problem with it then I know they aren't really my friend.

                              Tell someone you love them today, because life is short.
                              But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.

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                              • JohnErynJ Offline
                                JohnEryn
                                last edited by

                                I don't have enough social skills to meet new friends frequently, at least not face-to-face friends. For those that I know from some time ago, I only told to a few of them bc I thought it was important to feeling more conformable being around with their company. I also came up to one guy that I really liked in high school, and he stopped talking to me. At least he wasn't a bully… Nowadays I only told it right away to virtual people that live far far away. I don't mind to do it bc it's part of my work (I broadcast in Chaturbate).

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                                • C Offline
                                  ChicanoDag
                                  last edited by

                                  I rarely ever walk up to someone and say, "Hi I'm Dag and I'm queer."  But I also do not censor myself.  If I'm in a car with someone and I see someone attractive I will say, "Ooooo, he's cute."  If a co-worker asks which actress I think is hot, I will tell them Russell Tovey.

                                  Most new people assume I'm straight.  But I've almost never told anyone I was queer.  Almost no-one has ever asked ME if I was queer.  But everyone ends up knowing in the end.

                                  But when someone is being homophobic, I have looked people in the eye and told them that I like getting fucked in the ass.

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