Random funnies

jagged

**In school canteen,
there was a basket of apples with a written note:
"don't take more than 1, God is watching!"
A little further there was a box of choclates,
a naughty child wrote:
"Take as many as you want… God is watching the apples"

8 year son: Dad what's sex?
Dad gets tensed but explained everything.
Kid: But dad, how do I write all that in this small box on my admission form ?

A depressed boy asked an old man:
Is there anything worst than losing a girlfriend?
He replied: Yes, Losing your confidence of getting another one.

Virginity is
Neither a Dignity,
Nor a Security,
Nor Even a Sign of Purity,
Its just a…
Lack of 0pportunity…"

Woman in bed with husband's best friend.
Phone rings,
Woman: Yes?.. Ok,.. fine,.. bye.
Turns to her Lover and laughs;
My husband, saying he is playing golf with you.

A criminal entered a bed room,
tied up husband & wife,
kissed wife's ear & went to bathroom.
Husband told wife, "satisfy him or he will kill us. Be strong. I LOVE U"
Wife said "He didnt kiss me,
He whispered in my ear that he's GAY & needs vaseline
I told him its in the bathroom.
So be strong. I LOVE U

A 5 year old boy,
while taking bath
and examining his testicles
Asks: 'Mum, are these my brains?'
'Not yet', she replied.**