Do you have a good gaydar?
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Not really. It usually depends, if they're people who have similar interestst, then it works, but other than that.
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I think I do.
Even when I find out the person I think is gay is married to a woman and has kids...I still haven't been convinced I'm wrong.
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OMG - my Gaydar is non-existent! I'm generally clueless about other people in groups.
Case in point:
In 2014, I attended a party - a mixed party: gay/straight, male/female, old/young - and there were about 50-70 people there. I was still at the end of a 4-year marathon divorce process, but i was "livin the single life" and made it clear to several people at the party that I was "available"... Nonetheless, I went home alone
2 days later, I got a text from an unknown number. This guy says we met at the party, and that another person there gave him my number. He wanted to have dinner. I wasn't sure WHO this guy was, but there was this dreamy 55 y/o guy there I had had my eye on. He too had kids, but he was financially well off and retired... (I was struggling financially because of the divorce). He was looking forward to traveling and "enjoying his life to the fullest"! Anyway, we had chatted briefly, but he had "moved on" and started chatting up a group of very young guys... message received.
But, now I wasn't so sure! The thing was: I was certain his name was Richard, and the caller's name was David. But, I'm awful with names, so I went on the date.
Instead of 55 y/o Richard, this beautiful 26 y/o ebony God sits down at the table, says HE is David, and he was so glad I agreed to see him. Well, I did NOT go home alone that night...
David, being much younger, was still a very active "socialite" in the scene of Tampa Bay's Gay Life... we were invited to parties, and David liked to go out dancing (I'm an absolutely horrid dancer!)... On MOST nights, David would point out guys who HE SAID were checking me out...
The romantic thing would be to say "I only had eyes for David", and while that is true, the fact is: I was as oblivious to their presence or interest in me as I was to David at that first party!
Hence: I HAVE NO GAYDAR!
PS: Sadly, David passed away in 2017 as a result of a medical missed diagnosis. My heart remains, to this day, broken...
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Dunno - never tested it on real people.
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Not in my case. I'm very bad at identifying gay people around me...
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If you'd like an amusing test of your gaydar, download "Playing it Straight" on here at https://www.gaytor.rent/details.php?returnto=%2Fmytorrents.php&id=0fcf8d30b4bef36f3f627acd8bc2072fdecd2cf98061038f, or "Boy Meets Boy" at https://www.gaytor.rent/details.php?id=0e3e6ff1611472b33f627acd8bc2072f739d8c510482de62. These are similar miniseries (one British, one American) where a girl/guy dates a bunch of guys, some of whom are straight, and some gay. You don't find out which until someone is eliminated. (Note: Don't look these up on Wikipedia, as it will tell you who's gay and who's straight, and that takes the fun out of it.
PS: The torrent for "Boy Meets Boy" is an unnecessarily large DVD/ISO file. If you want it in .avi/.mp4 format, let me know and I can share it.
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Problem with such shows is that you cannot really check them - their supposed orientation could be designated at random (or specifically) by screenwriters with the real thing being completely irrelevant.
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@fezobe said in Do you have a good gaydar?:
Problem with such shows is that you cannot really check them - their supposed orientation could be designated at random (or specifically) by screenwriters with the real thing being completely irrelevant.
That's true; like porn, they're fiction. But I can say that I lived in Los Angeles for a while and hooked up/dated one of the gay-identified guys from "Boy Meets Boy," and he was most definitely gay. (No, I'm not going to say which one, out of respect for his privacy.)
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I used to have good gaydar in the early 80s. But, somehow things have changed, and it's become more difficult for me. Our culture as changed significantly, and now we have more trans people that exists more than ever. I think it takes a lot more careful observation to spot a gay guy nowadays. (just my opinion).
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@anythingold said in Do you have a good gaydar?:
Our culture has changed significantly, and now we have more trans people that exists more than ever. I think it takes a lot more careful observation to spot a gay guy nowadays. (just my opinion).
I agree. A radical take on this would be from the [late] sociologist Michel Foucault, himself a gay man, who saw "gay," "lesbian," and "bisexual" as social constructs, rather than actual categories of people. He didn't deny that GLB people exist, only that they were sociologically more similar to "left-handed people" who aren't a social category. (This is a simplification of his view.)
I'm not saying I agree with him, but it's an interesting idea to consider.
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I'm like the Highlander. I can sense when a fellow gay is near.
That said...every now and then I encounter a bisexual and they don't always ping.
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Nope, especially as the years go by and straight guys generally become more metrosexual and gay guys are just as lazy about things like shaving and dressing nicely. And of course for the past decade plus, straight guys have generally become more accepting about things like kissing a guy non-sexually, hugging, holding hands, etc.
I went to a group thing yesterday and every man there was gay and some of them could have easily passed for breeders at some mall or on a TV show.
Gaydar is meaningless now other than maybe so you can cruise in public. I've always lived in large cities where folks can be open so it's pointless for me to develop but I can see someone in the middle east or Russia/China, etc. needing to cultivate it.
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I have excellent gaydar.. even with closeted gay people.. even with people who don't even realize they are gay yet.
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On the most part I do, but there's the odd person from time to time that I either think is gay and isn't, or that I don't think is gay and turns out that they are. Most of the time though, I'm good at being able to call it just by talking to a person.
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@lololulu19 So even with pregnant women who have future gay babies waiting to be born?
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I have a superlative one. It rarely fails. It either gets me the action I want or it gives me the trouble I'm not asking for. Not only that, but it's been my whole life's experience that I somehow attract straight men. Most of my long term relationships are with straight men that are married. Maybe they are bisexual. When I ask them why, they all have the same answer. It's my character, they say they feel comfortable with me and since I am straight-acting it's a plus.
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I tend to assume most guys are gay or questioning until proven 100% straight.
The last time I started a new job there were 4 other men on my team, and I immediately decided what level and under what circumstances each would mess around with another guy.Now do I know if any of those theories were correct? Of course not, but I definitely like to do that with new guys I meet now.
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yes and no. I think in general men have become more comfortable in expressing their femininity so it's hard to tell who is straight or gay anymore
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its very hard to know if the closeted gay is gay but those gays who are out are easy to detect
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@jokuihmemies my gaydar is excellent. In fact, sometimes I know when someone is gay before they do!
My best friend of 6 years just started taking it up the ass 8 months ago.
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