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    Living together before marriage

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Civil Unions & Marriage
    27 Posts 27 Posters 21.8k Views 1 Watching
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    • A Offline
      aadam101
      last edited by

      Why wouldn't you live with your partner before marriage?  That's a huge mistake to not do it.

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      • H Offline
        hngn2
        last edited by

        living together changes a lot of things… in both good way and bad way ,

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • B Offline
          blackwing
          last edited by

          7 years before marriage

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          • A Offline
            alveer
            last edited by

            nice

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            • K Offline
              KissMyAirs
              last edited by

              It makes "marrige" just a papper

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              • L Offline
                lf4317
                last edited by

                I lived with partner for 6 years. Once it became legal for us to get married, we planned for one year and had our wedding. We have been a couple for 14 years.

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                • K Offline
                  kenjysn1
                  last edited by

                  @lf4317:

                  I lived with partner for 6 years. Once it became legal for us to get married, we planned for one year and had our wedding. We have been a couple for 14 years.

                  hope you have a wonderful wedding.

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                  • N Offline
                    nickys1177
                    last edited by

                    different strokes for different folks..whatever suits the person, i am all for it..living in is ideal if both are okay with it

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                    • J Offline
                      jonnbristow
                      last edited by

                      I'm all for it! I don't think i could wait…

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                      • R Offline
                        raju82
                        last edited by

                        I think it is a good idea to live together before marriage. It helps.

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                        • andergarciaA Offline
                          andergarcia
                          last edited by

                          Definetely necessary, in my opinion, to know your partner and to check the best (and the worst) things of living together.
                          I live with my partner and we are not married yet, and I can't feel happier than living together without getting married. I get to know him better and he gets to know me better, too.

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                          • J Offline
                            jbo1
                            last edited by

                            Is this a cultural thing in certain countries? I know a total of zero people who waited until marriage to move in together. People around here only get married after they've lived with their significant others for some time.

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                            • AnythingOldA Offline
                              AnythingOld
                              last edited by

                              In this day and age, I probably would never get married. 'Cause these days, I just think it's better to live separately (unless something catastrophic happens in you or your partners life that requires you to live together. Given our culture today, I just don't think it's all that easy to say.... "Yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I'm not saying you shouldn't, but damn, we all need to be more careful (including myself).


                              https://blackgayusenet.classic.appboxes.co/

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                              • F Offline
                                flozen
                                last edited by

                                A very sensible timeline, Ricky, and that period saving up money together is also a good way for anyone to help evaluate his betrothed's commitment to the relationship and overall stability.

                                Here in NYC, many gay men in mid-career own their own apartments, but they are not always large enough to easily accommodate a partner. So, the courtships can go up to wedding day living separately.

                                And if both guys own single-occupancy flats of which they are fond, I know several who marry/commit and opt to keep both places. Each week is a mix of staying at apartment A, or B, or sometimes a night apart due to work demands, etc.

                                Very urban, indeed. I bet it makes you glad not to face such challenges!

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                                • J Offline
                                  jbo1 @flozen
                                  last edited by

                                  @flozen I didn't even think of that scenario... I'm way too deep in the suburbia wasteland, haha.

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                                  • M Offline
                                    mgsex
                                    last edited by

                                    Living together is very hard. Lots of fights

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                                    • U Offline
                                      unoqualsiasi
                                      last edited by

                                      Io non ho mai sentito la necessità di sposarmi. Lei neanche.
                                      Quando abbiamo deciso di andare a convivere abbiamo fatto una festa con un piccolo ricevimento e poi un viaggio, come fosse un viaggio di nozze.
                                      Fu bello vedere entrambi le famiglie attivarsi per terminare i lavori nella nostra nuova casa entro la data prevista del trasloco. Organizzare la festa, le tappe del viaggio..
                                      Fu un pò come organizzare il matrimonio, ma senza lo sbattimento della cerimonia e i rischi legislativi che comporta.
                                      Da quel dì sono 14 anni che conviviamo senza problemi..

                                      bi4smoothB 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • bi4smoothB Offline
                                        bi4smooth @unoqualsiasi
                                        last edited by

                                        @unoqualsiasi said in Living together before marriage:

                                        Io non ho mai sentito la necessità di sposarmi. Lei neanche.
                                        Quando abbiamo deciso di andare a convivere abbiamo fatto una festa con un piccolo ricevimento e poi un viaggio, come fosse un viaggio di nozze.
                                        Fu bello vedere entrambi le famiglie attivarsi per terminare i lavori nella nostra nuova casa entro la data prevista del trasloco. Organizzare la festa, le tappe del viaggio..
                                        Fu un pò come organizzare il matrimonio, ma senza lo sbattimento della cerimonia e i rischi legislativi che comporta.
                                        Da quel dì sono 14 anni che conviviamo senza problemi..

                                        Or, in English, he said:

                                        I have never felt the need to get married. Neither did she.
                                        When we decided to go to live together we had a party with a small reception and then a trip, as if it were a honeymoon.
                                        It was nice to see both families take action to finish the work on our new home by the scheduled move date. Organize the party, the stages of the journey ..
                                        It was a bit like organizing the wedding, but without the hassle of the ceremony and the legislative risks it entails.
                                        Since that day, we have been living together without problems for 14 years ..

                                        In my own experience, marriage is a construct that was largely based on keeping mothers and fathers together for the betterment of their children. That certainly didn't mean all married couples HAD to have children - but it is instructive to know that in some religions, it IS expected - and that being barren (unable to have children) is a legitimate reason/cause for divorce/annulment in most of those same religions).

                                        I was married once (and had kids)... we're divorced now, and I will not seek "marriage" again... though I would like to find another romantic partner...

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                                        • L Offline
                                          Lodi
                                          last edited by

                                          I always wonder why some cultures prefer marriage before living together. it's far safer to do it the other way around IMO

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                                          • Y Offline
                                            Youngkink
                                            last edited by

                                            I feel like with the global housing crisis as it is, we're returning to a place where cohabitation becomes a financial imperative. I'd be the first to advocate for independent dwellings to allow greater freedom for radical polyamory, but instead we're weighed down by the gravity of financial necessity.

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