I hate being gay so much

Domosuke

I'm sorry. I'm just banned from every other gay site for being black and gay, so where the fuck else can I go?

What sites ban you for that?

Maybe you're banned for another reason?

I don't want to list names, as I don't think I'm allowed to. But yes, I was banned for being black and gay.

trukr

Sorry to hear you're so depressed. Maybe a change in medication can help if you're taking a prescription? That might help you see the world differently, more positively, and may attract more of they sort of guys you like to you. Please forget about suicide, things can get better for you at any moment. There's someone out there for you, believe that! I don't know what kind of guys you like, or where to tell you to look, maybe a group/club of guys who share similar interests if you haven't tried that yet?

Domosuke

@trukr:

Sorry to hear you're so depressed. Maybe a change in medication can help if you're taking a prescription? That might help you see the world differently, more positively, and may attract more of they sort of guys you like to you. Please forget about suicide, things can get better for you at any moment. There's someone out there for you, believe that! I don't know what kind of guys you like, or where to tell you to look, maybe a group/club of guys who share similar interests if you haven't tried that yet?

I don't take medication, and I don't want to. That's my choice.

Well I like opposite guys, as you could tell from another thread I posted. With for some reason Jewish and Russian men I find the most appealing really.
https://community.gaytor.rent/index.php?topic=55895.0

I'm just trying it really hard to stay motivated and happy.

I like opposite men.

I have hobbies, which is hip hop dancing, breakdancing and doing gymnastics and I like hip hop and disco and urban music, but I don't want men in those hobbies.

I want opposite guys.

Domosuke

Fuck.

thetmstone

I seriously don't know if I have to take this thread seriously or not.

trukr

@Domosuke:

I don't take medication, and I don't want to. That's my choice.

Well I like opposite guys, as you could tell from another thread I posted. With for some reason Jewish and Russian men I find the most appealing really.
https://community.gaytor.rent/index.php?topic=55895.0

I'm just trying it really hard to stay motivated and happy.

I like opposite men.

I have hobbies, which is hip hop dancing, breakdancing and doing gymnastics and I like hip hop and disco and urban music, but I don't want men in those hobbies.

I want opposite guys.

Yeah…it’s your choice if you wanna take medication or not. I was just thinking that there might be some medication that could help you feel better, but sometimes the side effects aren’t worth it.

How much do you prefer a guy to be opposite of you?
You said you don’t want to share the same hobbies, what about other interests, beliefs, opinions?

Domosuke

@trukr:

@Domosuke:

I don't take medication, and I don't want to. That's my choice.

Well I like opposite guys, as you could tell from another thread I posted. With for some reason Jewish and Russian men I find the most appealing really.
https://community.gaytor.rent/index.php?topic=55895.0

I'm just trying it really hard to stay motivated and happy.

I like opposite men.

I have hobbies, which is hip hop dancing, breakdancing and doing gymnastics and I like hip hop and disco and urban music, but I don't want men in those hobbies.

I want opposite guys.

Yeah…it’s your choice if you wanna take medication or not. I was just thinking that there might be some medication that could help you feel better, but sometimes the side effects aren’t worth it.

How much do you prefer a guy to be opposite of you?
You said you don’t want to share the same hobbies, what about other interests, beliefs, opinions?

You would have to give specific examples.

There was a gay/bi guy I had a deep crush on, through a video chat room I used to visit, and he's very pale and Slavic/Russian looking, and he's kinda pudgy too. He is very racist, and has a very odd vibe about him. He's really into art and sculpting, and using fire art. He supposedly lives in the United States now, but he's not originally from there. I've talked to him and he has made fun of the way I look and said very racist and homophobic things to me.

Now ordinarily, really me and this guy would be so incompatible it's not funny. But to me I became so infatuated with this guy, and the fact he's gay/bi himself, I really wanted him.

I feel if I wasn't black and gay, things could have worked out. I don't know.

chinabxy

@Domosuke:

https://community.gaytor.rent/index.php?topic=56038

I hate being gay
I hate being black
I hate being feminine
I hate how nobody loves me.

I don't have anybody to turn to. At all.

I feel porn is all I have, and porn is good. It is. But I wish I had a boyfriend.

I feel like I'm never gonna be happy.

I'm' 27 and I've never had a boyfriend and I'm just getting impatient.

Ugh.

I'm really thinking of suicide or similar and worse things.

to be honest, I am 30 years old, and I am still a virgin. I never had a boyfriend, and I am not coming out, both my parents and relatives and colleagues are put tons of pressure on me about marriage, but I am still alive, I dont want to be married a person I dislike. so I am still signle. still waiting. despite of those pressure.
Be a man, and be brave. life will be better.

Domosuke

@chinabxy:

@Domosuke:

https://community.gaytor.rent/index.php?topic=56038

I hate being gay
I hate being black
I hate being feminine
I hate how nobody loves me.

I don't have anybody to turn to. At all.

I feel porn is all I have, and porn is good. It is. But I wish I had a boyfriend.

I feel like I'm never gonna be happy.

I'm' 27 and I've never had a boyfriend and I'm just getting impatient.

Ugh.

I'm really thinking of suicide or similar and worse things.

to be honest, I am 30 years old, and I am still a virgin. I never had a boyfriend, and I am not coming out, both my parents and relatives and colleagues are put tons of pressure on me about marriage, but I am still alive, I dont want to be married a person I dislike. so I am still signle. still waiting. despite of those pressure.
Be a man, and be brave. life will be better.

BULL FUCKING SHIT.

you just spouted so much depressing shit. You said, "My family is possibly homophhobic and I'm not out. They are pressuring you to marry a girl. Just hold on, life gets better"

How the fuck is that shit supposed to motivate me?

How fucking dare you say "It will get better."

It won't. I had a really bad day today. To where if I a had a boyfriend I probably wouldn't be feeling suicidal right now.

I'm just done. I want a boyfriend and can't get one.

Life fucking won't get better. I waited too damn long.

I'm 27 and you're 30 and I can't wait that long sorry. Ugh.

dzirlo

so u opened a thread where you just want to contradict everyone no matter how helpful what they say is.
that's ok too to, if you just need a virtual punching bag, maybe that helps you.

Domosuke

@dzirlo:

so u opened a thread where you just want to contradict everyone no matter how helpful what they say is.
that's ok too to, if you just need a virtual punching bag, maybe that helps you.

That, and everyone has given shitty advice, including you, by only egging me on.

dzirlo

thanks for proving my point. gosh this is too easy…

warpaint

No need to add anything ;D
I'll just leave this here.

@raphjd:

I'm sorry. I'm just banned from every other gay site for being black and gay, so where the fuck else can I go?

Maybe you're banned for another reason?

@dzirlo:

thanks for proving my point. gosh this is too easy…

@Domosuke:

I just think it's time to die.

Aridity

I have autism too and started dating for my first time (ever) at 27–but by the sound of it you aren't ready for a relationship. As RuPaul says, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" If you hate being gay and don't want to live, you're not ready to be in a relationship--you need to go to a doctor and sort out your issues first. Having another person in your life will not fix those things.

If you're not interested in seeing a doctor and working hard at improving your condition, then there's really nothing anyone can do to help.

Domosuke

@Aridity:

I have autism too and started dating for my first time (ever) at 27–but by the sound of it you aren't ready for a relationship. As RuPaul says, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" If you hate being gay and don't want to live, you're not ready to be in a relationship--you need to go to a doctor and sort out your issues first. Having another person in your life will not fix those things.

If you're not interested in seeing a doctor and working hard at improving your condition, then there's really nothing anyone can do to help.

Fuck Rupaul. I mean I like some of his tracks and music from back in the day, fuck him. His boyfriend is very handsome though. Ugh. He's not a motivator at all though. He was lucky to be apart of the Club Kids who were a bunch of guys who did drugs and partied all day and all night. So I don't know. Plus that saying is so cliche.

I was born an identical twin who was also gay, and he died when he was only 14 of cancer.

Yeah I hate being gay, but I would like a boyfriend to feel better about myself. The fact gay men are all fucking robots on this site, doesn't motivate me. Not one guy has offered anything remotely close to empathy or anything.

So ironic on a gay site devoted to fucking and porn.

So therapy is my only option? That's not gonna help with me wanting love and romance and a partner.

You're on a fucking gay porn torrent site, so shut the fuck up with your morals.

I want a boyfriend. I'm probably gonna die soon myself, so fuck you. I want a man to sleep with before that. I don't care.

Kekkaishi

@Domosuke:

@warpaint:

The truth is - having a boyfriend won't fix your life.
If you hate being gay - be straight.
If you don't feel straight - accept being gay.
If you're unhappy - you'll still be unhappy but in a relationship.
Believe me. This is how it works.
So find a meaning, find a hobby reorganise yourself.
If you don't like something in you - change it.
If you hate being feminine - don't be.
Start gaining mass, go to the gym, put up a little muscle.
When you'll accept yourself - then it will be time to find a boyfriend.

How dare you say that. A boyfriend will help. I want a man.

You can't change being gay.

I'm not changing myself.

I want a boyfriend. So all of that is bullshit.

I actually agree with most of his points. I believe he was just trying to help you by being direct. No need to get upset

Domosuke

@Kekkaishi:

@Domosuke:

@warpaint:

The truth is - having a boyfriend won't fix your life.
If you hate being gay - be straight.
If you don't feel straight - accept being gay.
If you're unhappy - you'll still be unhappy but in a relationship.
Believe me. This is how it works.
So find a meaning, find a hobby reorganise yourself.
If you don't like something in you - change it.
If you hate being feminine - don't be.
Start gaining mass, go to the gym, put up a little muscle.
When you'll accept yourself - then it will be time to find a boyfriend.

How dare you say that. A boyfriend will help. I want a man.

You can't change being gay.

I'm not changing myself.

I want a boyfriend. So all of that is bullshit.

I actually agree with most of his points. I believe he was just trying to help you by being direct. No need to get upset

No he wasn't.

He was telling me not to be myself, what the fuck?

Ugh I'm so upset right now.

gaypraha2

you should first fix things with yourself THEN search for love. you said you dont want meds and therapy. that's a real real pity it helps trust me. I have asperger and it helps. its not perfect but only then you can expect to meet someone that will love you.

Domosuke

@gaypraha2:

you should first fix things with yourself THEN search for love. you said you dont want meds and therapy. that's a real real pity it helps trust me. I have asperger and it helps. its not perfect but only then you can expect to meet someone that will love you.

I'm not against medication.

I just don't think I need it for my mental condition.

If I was sick with the flu, then yes I would take meds to get better.

But I'm not taking antidepressants or any of that.

This is a gay porn forum, accept my fucking choice.

I like to drink liquor and smoke marijuana and cigarettes responsibly as well, so sorry. I'm not taking pills.

I'm willing just to live with the fact I have a mental disorder.

I just need positive reinforcement, like a boyfriend.

I'm not changing so fuck that. I want a man sorry.

Because what if I change and I still don't get a fucking man, then what? So sorry.

I already told you my story and my twin brother died. So that's over with. Fuck that.

I want a boyfriend.

grasslandman

from what you’re saying. I know why you dont have a husband. you are insane. forgive my opinion.