I hate being gay so much

chinabxy

https://community.gaytor.rent/index.php?topic=56038

I hate being gay
I hate being black
I hate being feminine
I hate how nobody loves me.

I don't have anybody to turn to. At all.

I feel porn is all I have, and porn is good. It is. But I wish I had a boyfriend.

I feel like I'm never gonna be happy.

I'm' 27 and I've never had a boyfriend and I'm just getting impatient.

Ugh.

I'm really thinking of suicide or similar and worse things.

to be honest, I am 30 years old, and I am still a virgin. I never had a boyfriend, and I am not coming out, both my parents and relatives and colleagues are put tons of pressure on me about marriage, but I am still alive, I dont want to be married a person I dislike. so I am still signle. still waiting. despite of those pressure.
Be a man, and be brave. life will be better.

Domosuke

@chinabxy:

@Domosuke:

https://community.gaytor.rent/index.php?topic=56038

I hate being gay
I hate being black
I hate being feminine
I hate how nobody loves me.

I don't have anybody to turn to. At all.

I feel porn is all I have, and porn is good. It is. But I wish I had a boyfriend.

I feel like I'm never gonna be happy.

I'm' 27 and I've never had a boyfriend and I'm just getting impatient.

Ugh.

I'm really thinking of suicide or similar and worse things.

to be honest, I am 30 years old, and I am still a virgin. I never had a boyfriend, and I am not coming out, both my parents and relatives and colleagues are put tons of pressure on me about marriage, but I am still alive, I dont want to be married a person I dislike. so I am still signle. still waiting. despite of those pressure.
Be a man, and be brave. life will be better.

BULL FUCKING SHIT.

you just spouted so much depressing shit. You said, "My family is possibly homophhobic and I'm not out. They are pressuring you to marry a girl. Just hold on, life gets better"

How the fuck is that shit supposed to motivate me?

How fucking dare you say "It will get better."

It won't. I had a really bad day today. To where if I a had a boyfriend I probably wouldn't be feeling suicidal right now.

I'm just done. I want a boyfriend and can't get one.

Life fucking won't get better. I waited too damn long.

I'm 27 and you're 30 and I can't wait that long sorry. Ugh.

dzirlo

so u opened a thread where you just want to contradict everyone no matter how helpful what they say is.
that's ok too to, if you just need a virtual punching bag, maybe that helps you.

Domosuke

@dzirlo:

so u opened a thread where you just want to contradict everyone no matter how helpful what they say is.
that's ok too to, if you just need a virtual punching bag, maybe that helps you.

That, and everyone has given shitty advice, including you, by only egging me on.

dzirlo

thanks for proving my point. gosh this is too easy…

warpaint

No need to add anything ;D
I'll just leave this here.

@raphjd:

I'm sorry. I'm just banned from every other gay site for being black and gay, so where the fuck else can I go?

Maybe you're banned for another reason?

@dzirlo:

thanks for proving my point. gosh this is too easy…

@Domosuke:

I just think it's time to die.

Aridity

I have autism too and started dating for my first time (ever) at 27–but by the sound of it you aren't ready for a relationship. As RuPaul says, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" If you hate being gay and don't want to live, you're not ready to be in a relationship--you need to go to a doctor and sort out your issues first. Having another person in your life will not fix those things.

If you're not interested in seeing a doctor and working hard at improving your condition, then there's really nothing anyone can do to help.

Domosuke

@Aridity:

I have autism too and started dating for my first time (ever) at 27–but by the sound of it you aren't ready for a relationship. As RuPaul says, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" If you hate being gay and don't want to live, you're not ready to be in a relationship--you need to go to a doctor and sort out your issues first. Having another person in your life will not fix those things.

If you're not interested in seeing a doctor and working hard at improving your condition, then there's really nothing anyone can do to help.

Fuck Rupaul. I mean I like some of his tracks and music from back in the day, fuck him. His boyfriend is very handsome though. Ugh. He's not a motivator at all though. He was lucky to be apart of the Club Kids who were a bunch of guys who did drugs and partied all day and all night. So I don't know. Plus that saying is so cliche.

I was born an identical twin who was also gay, and he died when he was only 14 of cancer.

Yeah I hate being gay, but I would like a boyfriend to feel better about myself. The fact gay men are all fucking robots on this site, doesn't motivate me. Not one guy has offered anything remotely close to empathy or anything.

So ironic on a gay site devoted to fucking and porn.

So therapy is my only option? That's not gonna help with me wanting love and romance and a partner.

You're on a fucking gay porn torrent site, so shut the fuck up with your morals.

I want a boyfriend. I'm probably gonna die soon myself, so fuck you. I want a man to sleep with before that. I don't care.

Kekkaishi

@Domosuke:

@warpaint:

The truth is - having a boyfriend won't fix your life.
If you hate being gay - be straight.
If you don't feel straight - accept being gay.
If you're unhappy - you'll still be unhappy but in a relationship.
Believe me. This is how it works.
So find a meaning, find a hobby reorganise yourself.
If you don't like something in you - change it.
If you hate being feminine - don't be.
Start gaining mass, go to the gym, put up a little muscle.
When you'll accept yourself - then it will be time to find a boyfriend.

How dare you say that. A boyfriend will help. I want a man.

You can't change being gay.

I'm not changing myself.

I want a boyfriend. So all of that is bullshit.

I actually agree with most of his points. I believe he was just trying to help you by being direct. No need to get upset

Domosuke

@Kekkaishi:

@Domosuke:

@warpaint:

The truth is - having a boyfriend won't fix your life.
If you hate being gay - be straight.
If you don't feel straight - accept being gay.
If you're unhappy - you'll still be unhappy but in a relationship.
Believe me. This is how it works.
So find a meaning, find a hobby reorganise yourself.
If you don't like something in you - change it.
If you hate being feminine - don't be.
Start gaining mass, go to the gym, put up a little muscle.
When you'll accept yourself - then it will be time to find a boyfriend.

How dare you say that. A boyfriend will help. I want a man.

You can't change being gay.

I'm not changing myself.

I want a boyfriend. So all of that is bullshit.

I actually agree with most of his points. I believe he was just trying to help you by being direct. No need to get upset

No he wasn't.

He was telling me not to be myself, what the fuck?

Ugh I'm so upset right now.

gaypraha2

you should first fix things with yourself THEN search for love. you said you dont want meds and therapy. that's a real real pity it helps trust me. I have asperger and it helps. its not perfect but only then you can expect to meet someone that will love you.

Domosuke

@gaypraha2:

you should first fix things with yourself THEN search for love. you said you dont want meds and therapy. that's a real real pity it helps trust me. I have asperger and it helps. its not perfect but only then you can expect to meet someone that will love you.

I'm not against medication.

I just don't think I need it for my mental condition.

If I was sick with the flu, then yes I would take meds to get better.

But I'm not taking antidepressants or any of that.

This is a gay porn forum, accept my fucking choice.

I like to drink liquor and smoke marijuana and cigarettes responsibly as well, so sorry. I'm not taking pills.

I'm willing just to live with the fact I have a mental disorder.

I just need positive reinforcement, like a boyfriend.

I'm not changing so fuck that. I want a man sorry.

Because what if I change and I still don't get a fucking man, then what? So sorry.

I already told you my story and my twin brother died. So that's over with. Fuck that.

I want a boyfriend.

grasslandman

from what you’re saying. I know why you dont have a husband. you are insane. forgive my opinion.

PIT1980

Im a bit confused how can you hate being gay, and then want a boyfriend?

All I can say is, be yourself. There are 7 billion people on this planet. Quite a few of those people are gay. Live your life and one day, he will just walk into your life. But seriously, dont be a downer. Look at the positives. Travel, see the world, enjoy life!

Tor

Domosuke

@PIT1980:

Im a bit confused how can you hate being gay, and then want a boyfriend?

All I can say is, be yourself. There are 7 billion people on this planet. Quite a few of those people are gay. Live your life and one day, he will just walk into your life. But seriously, dont be a downer. Look at the positives. Travel, see the world, enjoy life!

Tor

Bullshit for me. It might help someone else, but not me. I originally was happy at that post, but I changed my mind.

I want him now, or at least a hint of him.

No fucking motivation.

This racist ass community.

He's not out there. I don't think he is. Nobody likes me.

There is no positives.I should have died. After my twin brother died I stopped caring, because was gay as well and he had crushes. Actually we both had the same crushes on the same guys that went to our school. He died way too young. It's not fair.

I just want to be happy.

I just want to fucking die. I hate being gay so much. I feel so alone, and nobody loves me.

Fuck this.

Domosuke

I fucking hate being gay.

I wish I had a boyfriend.

I'm tired of daydreaming about crushes and shit. I want a guy.

I can picture the man I want.

He's so quirky, and goofy, and nerdy and masculine and a big teddy bear.

If I wasn't a nigger faggot I would have him

Fuck I hate being gay.

thetmstone

Yeah, this guy needs help, and he's not gonna find it in here. Like he said, he does have some serious mental issues, as evidenced on this very thread by the dozens of posts he made.

Seriously, you need help. One time you're saying you hate being gay for whatever reason, then the next post you want a boyfriend. Does he have a family? Not trying to be harsh or anything, surely there's someone in his life who can help him? A friend maybe? Because the tone of his posts is honestly weird each time he posts something.

Domosuke

I don't have a family no.

My mother passed when I was 9. My twin brother passed when he was 14.

I'm' 27 now, and I have distant relatives whom either disowned me, or pretend I don't exist.

grasslandman

@Domosuke:

I don't have a family no.

My mother passed when I was 9. My twin brother passed when he was 14.

I'm' 27 now, and I have distant relatives whom either disowned me, or pretend I don't exist.

dude, you post many threads here, what do you want? ask soneone sympathy for your encounter? That sounds like a coward and useless to your situation. You are 27 now, many people in this age have their own family. fuck off the distant relatives and parents.

As a man you need live like a man. If you like something try to get it by your initiative. You need calm down and have time to thinking what you really want. And put it on an activity. or kill yourself
"Kill yourself" isn't the kind of thing we want here.

abigwater

@grasslandman:

@Domosuke:

I don't have a family no.

My mother passed when I was 9. My twin brother passed when he was 14.

I'm' 27 now, and I have distant relatives whom either disowned me, or pretend I don't exist.

dude, you post many threads here, what do you want? ask soneone sympathy for your encounter? That sounds like a coward and useless to your situation. You are 27 now, many people in this age have their own family. fuck off the distant relatives and parents.

As a man you need live like a man. If you like something try to get it by your initiative. You need calm down and have time to thinking what you really want. And put it on an activity. or kill yourself

Being a man starts with not telling people to kill themselves. The way you were trying to silence other people, telling them to just be NORMAL!!!!!!11, acting like pain is comparable, giving irrelevant advices based on YOUR idea of man/coward is so insensitive and pure Chinese. I am… disgusted.