Is having kids just to feel fulfilled a bad idea?

Ellis

Seriously? ???

What kind of void are you trying to fill?

Maybe you should start with a puppy; and in your case, definitely some type of "loaner." One you help raise for a little while, like some of the "service" dogs.

That way, the poor thing won't have to suffer, should you still find yourself "unfulfilled," and lose interest.

OklaBalmore

Yes of course. It sounds pretty reckless & irresponsible for me as a reason.

Domosuke

I will say having kids anyways when one partner doesn't want any is a bad idea.

Ononoke

Depends on the true reason behind it, of course.

Many have been saying that it's wrong, a bad idea, and they have valid and logical arguments about it. Nothing wrong with that.

But in a way, if your intention is good and not negative, then I don't see why not. You just need to consider the responsibility and all the little things like money, expense, and stuffs that comes after having ones. If those doesn't trouble you or bother your morale conscious, then go ahead. Hey, it might just be the right answer to your life.

But perhaps… like Ellis said, try with a pet first? See if you can manage one. If you can't even deal with a non-demanding pet, then I doubt you'll be ready for human kids. It'll be more bad for them too.

spam17

The idea of having kids has been ingrained in us since childhood, with our parents dropping not-so-subtle comments like, “You'll know how it feels when you have kids of your own” or “I'll spoil my grandchildren.”

The importance of reproduction also has roots in religion. In Christian faiths, Adam and Eve were put on earth to reproduce and start the human race. Big families, which are sometimes the result of refusing contraception, are especially common in Christian households.

Then, of course, there is the influence of pop culture on reproducing. Movies like “Baby Mama” and “What to Expect When You're Expecting” perpetuate the idea that having kids of your own will somehow fulfill your entire life.

Maybe having your own children will make your life worthwhile. It could also make your life much more stressful for social or financial reasons!

vaylon 0

Yes, that is a very bad idea.
Many more reasons to have kids besides that.
like love. Real love.

JohnAllenson

To be candid.
The difficult part isn't deciding to have a kid or not. There are worse reasons to want to have a kid and better reasons none of which would honestly last until you get the kid weaned. The only thing that matters is your reponsibility when you have a kid.

kenjysn1

Worth to have a try. having children is not just your own matter, it’s about your blood lineage. You have responsibility to bring up your children even abnegate some personal things such as your sexuality…, you should earn more money to feed the family and give them a better living environment. Finally you will gain the benefits. When you get older you won’t die in solitude. And one day you will proud of your
behavior.

Most of us to be a gay caused by a irresponsible father, so learn how to be a competent father is very important. I don’t want to make a judgment of most of us. But I must say some people only love themselves, in this case the intention of setting up a family is not reliable, they don’t know what’s the responsibility of relationship or family, the only thing they want is they need. They treat their family or partner as a trophy.

To be a homosexual person will lead a hard life, but the life there isn’t different from the heterosexual person.

jkronfuss

No, I guess there are possible reasons to become a parents that this. Having children is always a bit selfish, especially in our case when there is no way for us to conceive them the normal way.

kenjysn1

@jkronfuss:

No, I guess there are possible reasons to become a parents that this. Having children is always a bit selfish, especially in our case when there is no way for us to conceive them the normal way.

sorry i don’t agree with you about the selfish part of to be a father.
people are different, why you separate gay to be a freak?

spam17

@kenjysn1:

Worth to have a try. having children is not just your own matter, it’s about your blood lineage. You have responsibility to bring up your children even abnegate some personal things such as your sexuality…, you should earn more money to feed the family and give them a better living environment. Finally you will gain the benefits. When you get older you won’t die in solitude. And one day you will proud of your
behavior.

Most of us to be a gay caused by a irresponsible father, so learn how to be a competent father is very important. I don’t want to make a judgment of most of us. But I must say some people only love themselves, in this case the intention of setting up a family is not reliable, they don’t know what’s the responsibility of relationship or family, the only thing they want is they need. They treat their family or partner as a trophy.

To be a homosexual person will lead a hard life, but the life there isn’t different from the heterosexual person.

True..

arquimostra

Well… children won't be children forever and some day they'll get independent, bringing back the void you're describing.

Grotomode

I dont think its possible to decide to have kids without being driven by the need to fulfill ones dreams and plans in life.
Another thing we get wrong in such theoretic discussions I think is the fact that there doesnt have to be one and only drive behind something like this. Different motives and reasons can coexist. The need for self fulfillment doesnt cancel ones ability to do it justice.

As far as raising kids goes, all you need imo is the kind of character that can give love to the people around them. If you can love someone and care for them, what does it matter if deep down you see having kids as the next stage in your life that will help you grow as a person?

kenjysn1

@arquimostra:

Well… children won't be children forever and some day they'll get independent, bringing back the void you're describing.

you love your children not only love they are kids. no matter how old are they, they are still your son and daughter, the firstborn son have special responsibility here, as I did for my father, he will do the same things, make your family name continue, and take care parents if them needs when they are old. he will get all of my heritage (alto I only get several furry clothes from my father) but My son will get a lot of wealth from me. The motivation of earn more money after a marriage is all about them. that’s the reason of why I can’t living with my brother, we have those responsibility, he can’t have child for me and me too. finally responsibility beats the sexual orientation.

plz don’t treat your children like some kinds of pets. treat them like yourself.

justwith

If you are not filling fullfilled is up to you. The kid wont make it happen… not a good mindset to do it and worse; you will put a expectation to the kid`s life.

josha

In Christian faiths, Adam and Eve were put on earth to reproduce and start the human race.
https://s3.amazonaws.com/subwaysurfers/index.html https://s3.amazonaws.com/homescapes-pc/index.html
rules violation

flozen

@josha:

In Christian faiths, Adam and Eve were put on earth to reproduce and start the human race.
https://s3.amazonaws.com/subwaysurfers/index.html https://s3.amazonaws.com/homescapes-pc/index.html

Thanks for the ~~Bible lesson~~ unwanted preaching. Your real purpose is to post the two links to unrelated computer games. Rules violation.

I encourage others to report the post, to be sure his time with us is short, just like his junk.

flozen

Now that the spammer above has been quieted, I'll offer my answer to the question at hand.

I'm a bit stymied by the question itself. Don't most people have children, in large part, to feel fulfilled? And if "feeling fulfilled" includes doing their best job at child rearing and development, why are we posing the question as if that, in itself, is a bad idea?

At least it was interesting to hear opposing views from a few GTRU members in countries/societies where having children was still intertwined with ancient traditions about family lineage, building up bigger tribes, and various patriarchal imperatives.

It made my glad that I live in a progressive and less-rigid social environment, especially as many of these more static cultures are not accepting of living one's gay truth. Imho, of course.

hawaiifive74

Bad idea

gayaznboi22

Having children for the sake of feeling fulfilled is a bad idea. Let's say you have a child and the only feeling you have is fulfilled? What happens when that fulfillment disappears? Is the love for both your partner and child still there? It most likely isn't, and it opens the door of wandering to other sexual partners or even being an absentee parent. It happens a lot in this world unfortunately; having kids because of love and caring is the way to go.