Where did you find your gay friends?

SemenDemon

I feel the same way as you, sadly, OP… I wish I had more gay friends, but I don't really know any here, and when I meet other gay guys, I worry they'll assume I'm creeping on them, or that I'm some straight person trying to ingratiate myself with them and make them my "fagcessory"... There's only one gay bar I know of here. It's a pretty diverse crowd and the atmosphere is relatively low-key, but I don't go there much (I've only been 2-3 times). It's really not a terrible place as far as bars go, but I dislike bars in general. They're obscenely overpriced, the bartenders (particularly in more pseudo-bohemian places) are frequently assholes, and they're really boring unless you're drinking or there's good entertainment.

I am more into house shows and hanging out on porches and buying/carrying my own cheap corner market booze vs. paying twice as much for the same stuff. The problem is, I hardly ever meet anyone new.

Once, I went to Idapalooza (a week-long outdoor festival in Middle Tennessee for the GLBTXYZBBQ set), and it was really fun/interesting… There's a pretty heavy "SJW" element there that kind of turns me off, but I still had a blast with all the freaks, crusties, hippies, weirdos and abnormals who were not with the humorless, fun-hating killjoy crowd. I've wanted to go back for years now, but I don't really have the money to make the trip. I don't even have any camping gear... Anyway, I met/chatted with loads of people there... Something to consider.

Gman2034

Don't have any

ivanunss

Don't have any

miang

I have a few, some I meet in school or friend with benefits I met through grindr. They're far from my closest friends though. I have a few best friends, straight girls, who I've known since forever. But I'm kind of a loner, so I am fine with it, but it would be nice to have a few more. I'm so bad at mainting new friendships though, since I enjoy spending time alone so much. Ah well.

darkph0rze

I don't wish to speak ill of "my own kind" so I'll just keep it simple and say that gay guys tend to have other interests and priorities than me so.. aside from two or three ex boyfriends that I still keep in touch with, I only have straight friends.

Bolzen

@Celebreon:

OP:

In high-school I was usually wanted to date some gay guy I met, but after my first boyfriend and I split up we stayed friends for… coming up on a decade this September.

I'm the president at my LGBT Pride club at the community college, and I have no interest in sleeping with ANY of my club members. (that's not the point of pride club, it seems inappropriate for me to be a representative of the only active LGBT organisation in my city and be sleeping with the constituents.) But they are my friends, and sometimes, better than family.

Honestly I don't go out of my way to make gay friends. Mostly because I don't care much about anyone's orientation, but also because I seemingly have less in common with the gay people I meet in passing, and have severely different communication styles. This makes having a rewarding friendship more difficult. Just off the top of my head, recently I met some gay guys that listened to a lot of pop music, and liked to go out to the clubs and dance... I don't like any of those things. They are not enjoyable to me. But I FEEL like a minority within a minority saying that.

Then again you won't see me at any gym either (maybe that's another place you can look for gay friends) IDK I'm clearly bad at this.

I've made the same experiences as you, except for the staying-friends-with-ex-BFs. And I, too, feel like a minority within a minority. Usually it's not a big deal. But if one needs to talk to someone who can understand one's "gay problems", straight friends are often just… incompatible. $:-\$

OP: I met some at my university's gay pride club, but due to the lack of mutual interests and people moving to other countries, those acquaintances and friendships rarely last in my case. But that's okay, since you'll alway find someone you get warm with, in a plactonic sense :hug:.

Also, at least here in Germany, it seems that our local hacker spaces have much higher than usual share in openly gay people. I have some ideas why that might be, but I'm still not sure why.

yinjustin

Ppl who are not into bar/club/disco scene are not easy to find gay friends. I tried some website like "meetup", wasn't lucky.

scramer

Honestly, Jackd. LGBTQ based activities are a good way to meet platonic friends as well

hhsq

@Bolzen:

Also, at least here in Germany, it seems that our local hacker spaces have much higher than usual share in openly gay people. I have some ideas why that might be, but I'm still not sure why.

What are your ideas? I'm curious?

samiderwish

in GYM forsure ;D

samiderwish

i fund my first friend in gaybar !

samiderwish

and also i fund the another gay friend in my language institute

phucknphreak

alot were hook ups, that turned into friends

hhsq

I might want to add that I met my best friend in a dating site. We started seeing each other for sex, but never really developed into a serious relationship. We got really found of eachother nevertheless, and it's been about 4 years since the last time we had sex, but we still talk pretty much everyday and hangout every week.

eastonkellan

Platonic gay friends, in highschool, college and now in my work

manojwilson

A public park at night.

daydrm

Internet!

asimpleman

I like that this topic has some good ideas. Thanks. Keep it relevant for all minorities of minorities.

edwardgaming

always in the app…...talk first,and pick someone to meet in real life

warpaint

I kind of have the same problem. I just don't see the idea of getting friends just because they are gay. I have my straight friends and I'm very proud of them. On the other hand the guy I'm meeting right now has like ONLY gay friends and some of them really attractive. So it's kind of weird… I only know gays from dating apps for example if the date didn't work out and we just became friends or from SCRUFF then those are international friends mostly US or GB and they are some great people but it's sad that you can't even go out for a drink cause someone's from another country and you'll probably won't even meet.