How to deal with the very attractive straight friend

RectalTemp

Don't push anything, if it happens naturally it happens, if not you get to keep a friend, that's win win? I would also say in the meantime just get on with your own life and don't stress about it.

Co-sign! Get on with your life, don't get hung-up on HIM.

revenger

I don't ! i just wait till them get out and start jerking till my balls blow!

ckslad

just raid his laptop/phone for the inevitable shirtless selfies he's taken, get copies of those and just wank over them when you're alone. He will never be anything more than that.

lostalone

@bebekid:

Here's my opinion. I agree with you not to try anything because you value the friendship. He's straight, and trying to get him to be what he isn't will surely ruin the friendship. Also, if he's ever curious, he knows you're gay because you already came out to him. I wouldn't hold my breath on that one though.

What I imagine is there's qualities about him you are attracted to. Determine what they are, and look for them in someone who's gay. If biceps and openminded-ness are important, then participate in some activities where you will have gay men who are athletic and open-minded. I would also remind myself "this is my friend" and try to treat him as such.

Hope some of that helps.

Definitely echoing this.

I understand that sometimes the heart (and the cock) wants what it wants, but you have laid almost all the cards. If he wants to make a move– he probably would have done so already.

Depending on whether he is accepting and chill or not-- you might want to open that last card. That you are sexually attracted to him. Of course, that means dealing with a (very high) possible of rejection and the resulting awkwardness, but perhaps it is a risk worth taking.

newbieff

@RectalTemp:

All this is to say, give it some time with your attractive straight friend. You may realize in time that there really isn't all that much to him that is worthy of your interest. Sometimes we just really want the thing that we think is unobtainable. My advice to you at this time: He knows you're into him, just stand your ground, be his friend, and trust me… he'll eventually come to YOU. And if he's lucky, you'll still be into him when he does. But more than likely, you'll find someone else by that time that suits your fancy better than him (who will also likely be more worthy of your time). "Straight" guys like to play games, all hard-to-get 'n' shit, when they think we worship the ground they walk on. And many of them know instinctively when we do.

Put another way: You can say that many of them have GayFriendWantsToFuckMeDar, and they often try to use it to their own advantage.

Thanks for this!

RectalTemp

@newbieff:

@RectalTemp:

All this is to say, give it some time with your attractive straight friend. You may realize in time that there really isn't all that much to him that is worthy of your interest. Sometimes we just really want the thing that we think is unobtainable. My advice to you at this time: He knows you're into him, just stand your ground, be his friend, and trust me… he'll eventually come to YOU. And if he's lucky, you'll still be into him when he does. But more than likely, you'll find someone else by that time that suits your fancy better than him (who will also likely be more worthy of your time). "Straight" guys like to play games, all hard-to-get 'n' shit, when they think we worship the ground they walk on. And many of them know instinctively when we do.

Put another way: You can say that many of them have GayFriendWantsToFuckMeDar, and they often try to use it to their own advantage.

Thanks for this!

YW :hug2:

revenger

No dealing, if he's straight is nothing more than fantasy.

jazuko

Look but dont touch haha

mancini24

I recently quit a job because of this. My Boss was literally the hottest thing EVER :cheesy2:
It was really fine until it started becoming unbearable to work with him everyday. Its not that I lack self control but he always used to make me feel like he was "hinting" something to me but then it'd turn out to be nothing and it'd always KILL me… Just couldn't take it anymore. :blownose:

So that happened. I used to go to such extremes to earn his affection and he'd always do things that sent mixed signals, feelings getting tossed around, wasn't easy. Till I finally quit. I couldn't take it anymore. I know exactly how you feel, despite my situation being different. I just didn't know how else to deal with things, and I value my pride more than HIM.

RectalTemp

@mancini24:

…he always used to make me feel like he was "hinting" something to me

He probably was. Nevertheless, those situations in the workplace make things particularly tricky, because you have to be around one another 8 hours each and every day. Sorry you had to surrender your job over it, but you did what you felt like you needed to do to in order to spare your sense of well-being.

birendradjan

Avoid him until you find someone else you get infatuated. It happened to me some times.

hatrick

@987654:

Hi, GT forum. I'm new here, sort of.

And, I figured, we could get semi-serious for a second as I ask an important question. How do you deal with that one friend who is straight, but you find them really attractive? For the record, I'm male and in my mid twenties. I'm talking about my best friend, who I actually just came out to a month ago. He's fine with it. But, I really struggle because I've always been attracted to him. I really value our friendship and wouldn't screw that up.

Is this something any one else has gone through?

I mean, I can keep it under control, but I sometimes glance at his biceps or whatever and I don't want him to notice and jeopardize our friendship.

I am afraid that if you are that much into him and have to be under control, then the friendship is not really that much of a friendship? :blink: I have a straight friend who I really like and he knows that very well cause I told him maybe three times that I would definitely do something with him anytime he would be interested and he said if he was gay he would date me but he really is not (and I know that for sure when I see his Tinder or Badoo behavior haha). So just be honest if he is really your friend. Otherwise he is just like a pal you hang out with sometime…

CloudStrife

@bebekid:

Here's my opinion. I agree with you not to try anything because you value the friendship. He's straight, and trying to get him to be what he isn't will surely ruin the friendship. Also, if he's ever curious, he knows you're gay because you already came out to him. I wouldn't hold my breath on that one though.

What I imagine is there's qualities about him you are attracted to. Determine what they are, and look for them in someone who's gay. If biceps and openminded-ness are important, then participate in some activities where you will have gay men who are athletic and open-minded. I would also remind myself "this is my friend" and try to treat him as such.

Hope some of that helps.

Great advice. I second this.

hatrick

@RectalTemp:

@987654:

Is this something any one else has gone through?

Yup, been there, done that, got several t-shirts. :poorthing:

Love this, thanks for the story :).

pwa

You need to control your feeling for him, otherwise your friendship with him will be a total mess.