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    What would you do if you fall into love with a straight man

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Sex & Relationships
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    • W Offline
      whoreduck
      last edited by

      Hmmm Im in that kind of situation right now, or better to say, last 4 months when new colleague start to work with me in the same office. Never told him anything about it and when I thought I can deal with it ( Im even arrange him a date with women from another department) our chef came today and told us that next week we are going together on some seminar. We r going to be in the same room in hotel for 5 days !  :cry3: :cry3: :cry3: :cry3: :cry3: :cry3: :cry3:

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      • K Offline
        kindagay
        last edited by

        I was in love with a man who identifies as strictly straight for about half a year before things turned sour. He was someone who sought me out for comfort and things sort of blossomed from there. It could have been for all intents and purposes a real relationship, all the emotional part was invested by both parties and heck there was willingness to get physical too. Until this straight guy went and found God. I mean good for him, he's all incredibly happy and whatnot now, he's at peace with himself, but he's ended things for good. And it sucked. Obviously. Guy was everything I could have wanted in someone. This was probably around the same time I came to the conclusion that crushes on straight men need to be extinguished before they burst into the flames of passion. Flames of one-sided passion in most cases.

        TLDR; fell in love with str8boi, started things with str8boi, str8boi found jesus, str8boi ended things.

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        • scilaS Offline
          scila
          last edited by

          Unfortunately, Im still in love with one… Probably Ill suffer (silently) for a while, and wait, cause it will pass, eventually  😕

          sun is shining, the weather is sweet, yeah!

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          • G Offline
            GabrielK
            last edited by

            My advice… RUN!!!

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            • W Offline
              wf6969
              last edited by

              I'd lure him into one of those fundamentalist "pray the gay away" re-orientation camps.  Everybody that comes out of those places is gay.  >:D

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              • B Offline
                bebekid
                last edited by

                I would try not too… I have a close friend who has fallen for so many straight guys and everyone of them has ended in heartbreak.

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                • D Offline
                  DirtyNick
                  last edited by

                  Life is simple don't make it complicated

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                  • Y Offline
                    yuck2014
                    last edited by

                    It's very difficult as I had crushes at school  with str8 guys and later in my working life had the same. Yes they knew I was gay and liked male bonding like hugging, sharing the shower etc and it frustrated me massively. Naturallym I want to keep the strong friendships without crossing that line…

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                    • O Offline
                      Olitommy
                      last edited by

                      I believe we've all been on this situation more often than not, simply because most men identify themselves as straight. A lot of people will tell you to go for it and try it, but think about how you'd feel if it was the other way around, if a girl tried to "flip" you. The LGBT community is sometimes so fixed on all orientations deserving respect that we sometimes forget that the cisgender heterosexual people are also an ortientation and deserve as much respect, if the guy turns out to be bi or gay on denial or something of the sorts that's a different story, and in those situations things tend to happen pretty naturally, but on most cases it's better to move on.

                      TL;DR= clinging to the hopeful belief that any straight man can be turned gay/bi for you is just as offensive and close minded as the religious nuts that believe any gay/bi man can be turned straight for Jesus. They're here, they're NOT queer, we better get used to it.

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                      • 22222 Offline
                        2222 Moderator
                        last edited by

                        Sure, its though, been there, but the worst is loving a gay to pretend to be straight.

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                        • R Offline
                          ryoseiteki2
                          last edited by

                          I once fell for my best friend.  He's straight, but quite comfy with himself.  We talk about quite literally everything.  I told him if he ever gets curious, I call dibs.

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                          • O Offline
                            Olitommy
                            last edited by

                            @2222:

                            Sure, its though, been there, but the worst is loving a gay to pretend to be straight.

                            Or a guy who's so closeted that he never intends to acknowledge you in public as anything other than your frien

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                            • M Offline
                              Minerboh80
                              last edited by

                              😞

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                              • I Offline
                                indybr05
                                last edited by

                                that would be hard
                                but i think i would kinda get some distance from him, and try to move on

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                                • R Offline
                                  ryoseiteki2
                                  last edited by

                                  @Olitommy:

                                  @2222:

                                  Sure, its though, been there, but the worst is loving a gay to pretend to be straight.

                                  Or a guy who's so closeted that he never intends to acknowledge you in public as anything other than your frien

                                  That hurts so much worse.  Falling for a straight man is just yearning for the unobtainable, but that's like having something that could, should and would be better, but you just aren't worth it to him…
                                  That's how I felt about it anyway.

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                                  • I Offline
                                    isb4mature
                                    last edited by

                                    it happened to me so many times. i cant really explain but yes…. its highly painful.
                                    the main problem is, the communication u do with him and the stuff he doesnt understand.
                                    u come back home empty handed.
                                    miserable.....!!

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                                    • L Offline
                                      Louism
                                      last edited by

                                      I'm now in a deep crush with my straight colleague. He is cool and playful. I seem to see him every time I close my eyes.

                                      I know I will be able to move on after he finishes his contract here and move back to the HQ.

                                      I feel very happy every time I am around him. I think It's just a good feeling to be a secret admirer.

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                                      • ben351500B Offline
                                        ben351500
                                        last edited by

                                        There was a period of time that I was constantly falling for straight guys. This eventually passed; I still have the occasional crush or lust-on, but I'm able to see it for what it is and deal appropriately.

                                        What I discovered after a lot of thought was that during that period of time, I was feeling very distant from the gay scene; I'm not into bars or clubs, am rather plain looking and overweight. In other words, I was feeling very insecure about my looks, body, and social skills, and found trying to get to know other gay guys VERY intimidating.

                                        I was also in a period of self-sabotage (job, etc) where I was so afraid of failing at something that I would either A) opt out and not even try, or B) do something that would end the situation soon after the start. The logic is: the best way to avoid failure is to not participate in the first place. I'm sure we've all done this to ourselves at one time or another.

                                        In the case of falling for straight men, I did it because it was SAFE. I already knew what the outcome would be (nothing) and so indulging in this was a way for me to feel emotional without the risk of having to eventually go through an actual rejection. Trying to connect with a gay guy was far riskier because there was the possibility of some degree of success - and in my own insecure mind, almost a certainty of failure.

                                        I'm not saying this true for everyone else, but I found out that this was my truth.

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                                        • M Offline
                                          Minerboh80
                                          last edited by

                                          There is a certain attraction for the straight guys!

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                                          • P Offline
                                            pzhang519
                                            last edited by

                                            No matter what, I still think you need to try and also need to know all the consequences that may happen in the future.

                                            First, you should know whether you want to keep the friendship with him if you action failed. if you want, your influence step should be very slow, and in that case I am not sure whether you could keep that feeling that long.

                                            Second, get close to him, play game with him, care about his life and work, but not too much, try to make him feel that you are his close friend.

                                            Third, after being friend, try to let him accept who you are, if he is a homophobic, then you should give up immediately. Because sometimes his homophobic feelings will transform to violent and he also may feel that you cheated him.

                                            Fourth, if he can accept you, try to influence his life habit, and when you can occupy most of his time and normal life, at this time, I think you are very close to the success.

                                            Finally, I do not recommend you to change him. Because when he have to face the pressure from his family and society, he might give up very easy. And all your work and love, at that time, is nothing but trash.

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