Alternative to a dildo?
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Tee hee hee I bought a new type of lube today and thought of this conversation because I thought the packaging might make it dual purpose. Mind you, I have easy access to a variety of dildos.
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No offense, but I can't believe you're authentic in asking the question- only because I would think that if you got off on anal you'd have experimented at least some and figured out something. On the chance I'm mistaken, I can only offer some unoriginal standbys. The produce section at your grocery store will offer something that you'd be able to use- cukes, zucchini, a really large carrot, etc. Use a rubber on it and there you go. While at the grocery store you could check out the bottled beverages sections looking for something in a plastic bottle that at least approaches the size and shape you want.
If your mom is a baker- esp. if she's into artisinal bread- might have a variety of rolling pins and there might be one or some that are solid one-piece jobs, tapered at the ends.
One other thing off the top of my head is there would be possibly hundreds of different things at a home maintenance store like Lowes or the Home depot, from hand rails down to dowels, pvc pipe. rubber pipe metal pipe. There'll be an aisle that carries furniture hardware and a selection of furniture legs of every shape length and girth. I forgot to mention it again with the rolling pins- just use a basic condom to cover whatever you're using to prevent splinters or rough surfaces and keeping the bread from smelling like ass. :crazy2:
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;D don't do it like this guy at walmart: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz97VhhPaak
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;D don't do it like this guy at walmart: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz97VhhPaak
Is that what the kids these days refer to as an epic fail? He seemed more uncomfortable than the cashier.
Also: carrot, lube & condoms for under $4? I may have to rethink everything.
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You should try it sometimes hahah
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You should try it sometimes hahah
With a carrot? Nah. Call me when eggplants are in season. :cheers:
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cucumber, carrot, parsnip FTW :cum:
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cucumber, carrot, parsnip FTW :cum:
I do hate repeating myself but "nah" call me eggplants are in season, at least then maybe they would be good for something because I am fairly certain they are not intended for eating.
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Ok seriously, vegetables? I mean, it does sound a bit weird to me. I would much more prefer a dildo than vegetables.
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As a horny teen, I used really firm bananas a few times. My parents didn't ever cook with cucumbers, so I made do. I'd shave off the pointy ends with a knife, wrap it in a condom (which my school gave out), and go to town!
I think I actually prefer it to dildos! Ha! The dildos I've used all feel really rubbery and irritating against the skin.
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i've used one of these
cheap, easy to buy, and you wouldn't get weird looks asking your parents to buy a travel toothbrush holder for you (say you lost yours) -
Strangely enough, vegetables can be quite popular. Once you get piggy enough, you'll learn to have a new appreciation for baseball bats.
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As a horny teen, I used really firm bananas a few times. My parents didn't ever cook with cucumbers, so I made do. I'd shave off the pointy ends with a knife, wrap it in a condom (which my school gave out), and go to town!
I think I actually prefer it to dildos! Ha! The dildos I've used all feel really rubbery and irritating against the skin.
So do I and my first timefucking :bsex:
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A nice zucchini squash.
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condom+socks can make too many things become dildo…make it soft and comfortable
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Since we are speaking vegetables: Have you tried a corncob? Seriously, don't.
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Check out scene 2 of Ripe for Harvest
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a dick? ;D
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