'No Fats or Fems'
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I say that im not interested in decapitated people or those that can't hold a conversation … is that shallow? but at the end of the day if someone doesn't find particular people attractive such as blondes or short people or whatever and they are using grindr they are looking for physical attraction those kinds of people would be fine as friends but not for sex, is the way i see it.
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I always find ironic how the community stigmatizes itself, straight looking gay men became a fad here too, and well I always laugh when they call fems as if they were inferior, because from where I am standing; first a hetero will always find those same straight looking gays effeminated because yes some try to hide their flamboyance and well it keeps coming out ahaha, and second there is the stereotype, second it takes much more balls to be a fem gay man than a macho one… and well we have the age gap issue too, and let's be real noone is as cruel to a gay has another gay, looks for most are all that matter and then they wonder why their relations last 3 months if that.
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:true: and well said myrea :hapgay:
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I find it's easier, more polite, and ultimately more effective to just use positive language.
No fat or fems = Preference given to fit, healthy, and manly.
I personally avoid the people who use excessive negative exclusionary language.
But hey, I'm single. What do I know about meeting nice guys…
![😕](https://community.gaytor.rent/assets/plugins/nodebb-plugin-emoji/emoji/apple/1f615.png?v=57695cee877 ":-\")
That's what's thinking and gonna post.
Why don't people just list their preferences? It's a big enough hint that way as well…I always find ironic how the community stigmatizes itself, straight looking gay men became a fad here too, and well I always laugh when they call fems as if they were inferior, because from where I am standing; first a hetero will always find those same straight looking gays effeminated because yes some try to hide their flamboyance and well it keeps coming out ahaha, and second there is the stereotype, second it takes much more balls to be a fem gay man than a macho one… and well we have the age gap issue too, and let's be real noone is as cruel to a gay has another gay, looks for most are all that matter and then they wonder why their relations last 3 months if that.
I agree, especially with the part about it taking more balls to be fem. People don't realize just how hard life can be for fem guys, and also that they're just being who they are naturally. My BF has a friend he has known since childhood who is straight but acts a bit fem and has fem mannerisms, it's just who he is. Someone at work tried to out me by starting a rumor. It must have been a good one and believable because I had to fend off some 50+ guys. The times I stuck up for myself in an aggressive way, the other person backed down. There was jaw dropping and stuttering and no more problems from them.
Not the place to be out sadly. My co-workers tried to intimidate, threaten, and harass me so I'd leave. I'm still working there and they can all shove it up their butts! Prior to that, and still outside of work, people assume I'm straight so I get to hear all the "hidden" bigotry and it's so annoying. That experience was the worst, but I'm glad it happened to me even though it's a big source of stress in my life. I've learned so much from it. Too many straight acting/macho gays are clueless. If they ever thought about what it would be like to have slurs shouted at them, or possibly be assaulted, for simply being themselves, maybe they'd have more compassion and be kinder to fem guys. They probably never think about, or know, how many times a day/week a fem guy might get hated on. Yep, life sure is easy when you can blend in go about your everyday life without dealing with bullshit from homophobes and bigots while hiding behind the veil of faux heterosexuality. Nothing "macho" about that. Non-white LGBT people have a special place in my heart too. Racism still exists, and being gay can be tough enough as is. It's the fems, trans-people, and drag queens that fought, and still fight, hardest for our rights. They deserve respect! I love ALL of my LGBT people! :love: -
Non-white LGBT people have a special place in my heart too. Racism still exists, and being gay can be tough enough as is. It's the fems, trans-people, and drag queens that fought, and still fight, hardest for our rights. They deserve respect! I love ALL of my LGBT people! :love:
:true: Just focus on loving instead of hating
:bravo: -
It's funny how I often hear people complain about others that say "not fats or fems" but when you ask them how they feel about older guys they have no issue saying they aren't the least bit interested. It's a double standard and basically saying "I should be accepted but only by those who I am willing to accept".
Same goes if someone says they like only Hung men, someone will quickly say "Size Queen", but nobody will criticize you if you say you only like round butts.
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Everyone has their "type" and there is nothing wrong with it.
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If everyone is allowed to have their preferences, then there is nothing wrong with saying "no fats or fems".
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Everyone has their "type" and there is nothing wrong with it.
I totally agree with you on that!! If you don't fit into a persons type, then move around and find someone else. There is far too many gay men out there to get upset about a persons preference. I do however feel that people should be more open to try new things. But I can't be upset if someone isn't attracted to me. If you say no blacks, then you just miss out on all this chocolate goodness. LBVS!!
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It's funny how I often hear people complain about others that say "not fats or fems" but when you ask them how they feel about older guys they have no issue saying they aren't the least bit interested. It's a double standard and basically saying "I should be accepted but only by those who I am willing to accept".
Same goes if someone says they like only Hung men, someone will quickly say "Size Queen", but nobody will criticize you if you say you only like round butts.
Couldn't have said it better. Honestly, i've always been straight (am kinda Bi now
haha) and I prefer women still - but it's true that people are blinded by their own opinions so much that they can't understand the irony of what they've said. It's a little ridiculous. Everyone is entitled to their own preferences but saying (no femmes etc) and still believing your opinion of (i like hung men only) isn't a double standard - is beyond absurd. -
HMM, I got negative rep for my previous comment.
To the people that gave me negative rep, do you download every video here or do you choose which ones you want? Answer carefully.
I'm sorry, but I would commit suicide if I had to live with Nathan Lane's character in The Birdcage.
Also, why should I be forced to commit myself to someone I don't find attractive? Or I find their morals disgusting? Or whatever?
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It is on any site that men use. The guys are just trying to say what are their interests and likes and what turns them off. One day people might grow up and accept others for who they are and not what they look like.
Have a friend on A4A that contacted someone and just said that he enjoyed the others profile. The guy responded back that that he should not have contacted him because my friend is black and the guy was white. That kind of attitude has no place in the world
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Everyone has their "type" and there is nothing wrong with it.
Nothing wrong with it at all. It just depends on how a person goes about defining what he likes or doesn't like that is wrong. Just like the guys that only go off the photos and don't read the profile
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If you are not attracted to another race, that does not make you racist. In fact the amount of interracial marriages is extremely according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
According to this table no one really likes marrying outside of their race that much.| | White Wife | Black Wife | Asian Wife | Other Wife |
| White Husband | 50,410,000 | 168,000 | 529,000 | 487,000 |
| Black Husband | 390,000 | 4,072,000 | 39,000 | 66,000 |
| Asian Husband | 219,000 | 9,000 | 2,855,000 | 28,000 |
| Other Husband | 488,000 | 18,000 | 37,000 | 268,000 | -
Oh there's definitely a dismissive, hateful undertone to the wording of many profiles I read. I tend to be into guys 25-45 and my various profiles state that and I don't need to put "ABSOLUTELY NOT INTO GUYS OVER 50" though I get messages from older men a lot. I'm wondering if the nastiness of certain profiles reflects a more widespread degradation in our basic cultural civility? Are the people who put "no fats/no fems" in their profile the same people who will cut you off in traffic, talk on a cell phone while at a register and fail to hold open a door?
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It's all about personal tastes, but it doesnt justifies the use of offensie terms.
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Oh there's definitely a dismissive, hateful undertone to the wording of many profiles I read. I tend to be into guys 25-45 and my various profiles state that and I don't need to put "ABSOLUTELY NOT INTO GUYS OVER 50" though I get messages from older men a lot. I'm wondering if the nastiness of certain profiles reflects a more widespread degradation in our basic cultural civility? Are the people who put "no fats/no fems" in their profile the same people who will cut you off in traffic, talk on a cell phone while at a register and fail to hold open a door?
That's definitely a non-sequitur there. There is nothing wrong with not liking fat people or effeminate men. In addition to that, we went from not liking fat or effeminate people to saying they cut you off as if only masculine gay guys don't hold the door open. There are plenty of raging queens who are judgemental and will behave uncivilized. I prefer someone who says what they feel instead of hiding behind a veil of political correctness.
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Oh there's definitely a dismissive, hateful undertone to the wording of many profiles I read. I tend to be into guys 25-45 and my various profiles state that and I don't need to put "ABSOLUTELY NOT INTO GUYS OVER 50" though I get messages from older men a lot. I'm wondering if the nastiness of certain profiles reflects a more widespread degradation in our basic cultural civility? Are the people who put "no fats/no fems" in their profile the same people who will cut you off in traffic, talk on a cell phone while at a register and fail to hold open a door?
That's definitely a non-sequitur there. There is nothing wrong with not liking fat people or effeminate men. In addition to that, we went from not liking fat or effeminate people to saying they cut you off as if only masculine gay guys don't hold the door open. There are plenty of raging queens who are judgemental and will behave uncivilized. I prefer someone who says what they feel instead of hiding behind a veil of political correctness.
I never said there was anything wrong with preferring in shape and masculine men. I'm not sure what's illogical about assuming a profile written like this - "NO FAT guys, OLD guys, or FEMS. DON'T BOTHER" - belongs to kind of an asshole. I didn't do a study or have research to back it up but it's not crazy talk. It's very clear and easy to understand a profile worded like this - "If interested please be skinny to muscular, under 35 and masculine" - do you see the difference?
Also, I wasn't insulting masculine men I was suggesting that the type of people (masc, fem, white, black, fat, skinny) who write negative profiles might just generally be assholes.
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Well, it comes back to the individual's type/preference. It's just I prefer to not use such negative language to express my preference. I would just say "same race/faith is preferred".
And I still get tons of messages from those who I said weren't my type. But I can ignore them. Some people maybe are just too exhausted getting too much messages because they are too hot for society's standard. LOL.
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