@benlim8888: A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death." "Well, then, we need a urine sample." "I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar." "All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm drunk." The guy gave up easily claiming that he is drunk..

@flozen: So, this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere. :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally. :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?  Because the “P” is silent. The second one is the best one tbh.

@fezobe: [image: 1781652837959-df90667f607a.gif] What a web of lies tbh.

@geekguy: Doesn't he also say something like (paraphrasing from memory here): "they're both green, but that's too obvious." He did, yeah.

@flozen: I was just looking through the world's worst thesaurus.  Not only is it awful, but it is awful. LOL.

@zebrapenis: French for tired is fatigue (pronounced fatty-gay) Ah gotcha.

@flozen: Four gay men are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the guys looks around, irritated, and asks, "OK, who farted?". Sadly, I can see this happening irl, lol.