The most happy and successful of gay men are just living their best lives, at the risk of sounding all "Oprah". Being an "out" gay man does not mean you have to broadcast it to the world wherever you go. No matter what you are always going to run into the dense, and less informed - making remarks and cracking bad jokes. Ask yourself, in the grand scheme of things does that person's poor judgement make them look stupid - or make you look stupid.
Be yourself, understand that who you love or sleep with is not anyone's concern. Many of us work in predominantly hetero fields, I am no more compelled to share my personal life with most of them than I am to publish my financial statements. The straight people in your life who know you best and care about you most - like any other REAL human being will only ever want to see you happy. If they don't, then you need to put some distance between you and just respect that they have the right to remain ignorant and alone.
In short, life has too many challenges to move through it constantly worried about the approval of others. They are just as likely to hate on you because you are happy as they are to hate on you because you are gay. A very wise friend of my Mother's once told me, "If it does not bring you joy, move away from it." SO simple.
