Coming out
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Ok here's what happened with me.
Me (at 15): "Mom, I'm uhh, I'm gay."
Mom: "Yeah I know, I figured that out when I found gay porn on the computer. I mean, I know it's not mine."
Me: "So you're not ….mad or anything?"
Mom: "No, just be careful and be safe.".......
Me (at 16): "Jennifer (my sister), I'm gay."
Jen: "Oh cool, I'm bi. What kind of guys are you into?".......
Me (at 17): "Dad, I'm gay"
Dad: "Does your mom know about this?"
Me: "Yeah I told her a couple years ago."
Dad: "I can't believe you told your mother before you told me. I thought you trusted me more than that"
Me: "...Umm, sorry?"
Dad: "Well as long as it makes you happy, just be safe."
........Lol, god I love my family's open-minded optimism. Even my friends all thought it was adorable that I was gay when I came out to them. Somehow I get the feeling this isn't the general reaction, but I'm glad my family was supportive. I always feel really bad that I had it so easy when I hear all these horror stories, and I really hope it goes as well for some of you as it did for me.
I don't believe this, ur family is far too impossible to be true. And 1 more thing, you started watching gay porn when u were 15?
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Ok here's what happened with me.
Me (at 15): "Mom, I'm uhh, I'm gay."
Mom: "Yeah I know, I figured that out when I found gay porn on the computer. I mean, I know it's not mine."
Me: "So you're not ….mad or anything?"
Mom: "No, just be careful and be safe.".......
Me (at 16): "Jennifer (my sister), I'm gay."
Jen: "Oh cool, I'm bi. What kind of guys are you into?".......
Me (at 17): "Dad, I'm gay"
Dad: "Does your mom know about this?"
Me: "Yeah I told her a couple years ago."
Dad: "I can't believe you told your mother before you told me. I thought you trusted me more than that"
Me: "...Umm, sorry?"
Dad: "Well as long as it makes you happy, just be safe."
........Lol, god I love my family's open-minded optimism. Even my friends all thought it was adorable that I was gay when I came out to them. Somehow I get the feeling this isn't the general reaction, but I'm glad my family was supportive. I always feel really bad that I had it so easy when I hear all these horror stories, and I really hope it goes as well for some of you as it did for me.
I don't believe this, ur family is far too impossible to be true. And 1 more thing, you started watching gay porn when u were 15?
It is possible thomas. i first saw a striaght porn at age of 13 (after my puberty started) thanks to my bro who exposed it, he at age of 15 that time.
It not impossible to believe that Yoruichi's family accept it that early, it quite normal. i have few friend's parent already knew they were gay when they little. i came out of the closet with my parent at age of 15 and they accept. Based on Yoruichi's word, it sound like very normal American family.
I see you from Asian country, in America is different story. it depends on Location location and location. if you in west or east America, it tend to be more open-minded people there about homosexuality, but in Central America it enitrely depends. i noticed the huge difference between them. If you thinking about how that can be because American is very religious, not all of us are t religious. You from a Asian country, it make sense that you have to be careful with homosexuality. here in America, it all about location.
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… o.O Umm (legally I shouldn't have been able to get porn until I was 18). But you'd be amazed at how much porn a 12 year old can find on the internet. (Having your own computer in your room and a lock on your door does wonders). Yeah, I've been watching gay porn since I was 12. And yes I live in California, so I imagine it is much different than what you're used to.
Ok just to be clear I can't technically be prosecuted for that since it happened so long ago right? Don't wanna be admitting to any crimes here.
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… o.O Umm (legally I shouldn't have been able to get porn until I was 18). But you'd be amazed at how much porn a 12 year old can find on the internet. (Having your own computer in your room and a lock on your door does wonders). Yeah, I've been watching gay porn since I was 12. And yes I live in California, so I imagine it is much different than what you're used to.
Ok just to be clear I can't technically be prosecuted for that since it happened so long ago right? Don't wanna be admitting to any crimes here.
Yes legally you shouldnt get porn but hey it AMERICA! what you expect?
a 12 years old… nothing new. but i will be surprised if 8 years old found porn.....
Oh you live in California... where you live? i live in San Diego County
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Thomas: There's this thing called the internet that will allow anyone to find/watch porn…
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anyone know where I can look for porn, I am have trouble finding any…
sgmusuk
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anyone know where I can look for porn, I am have trouble finding any…
sgmusuk
you are in porn…. GayTorrent.ru??
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you are in porn…. GayTorrent.ru??
I was making a joke DarknessWing
sgmusuk
Ah… sorry, my mind stll worried from California Fire, still in the area where the fire is.
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you are in porn…. GayTorrent.ru??
I was making a joke DarknessWing
sgmusuk
Ah… sorry, my mind stll worried from California Fire, still in the area where the fire is.
My prayers and thoughts go out to all of you in Ca dealing with the fires. I hope you and everyone else dealing with these horrible fires come out OK. (you know what I meen)
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My house is still fine. Look like the fire in Fallbrook is gone, havent hear the news about it since two days ago. So im starting unpacking everything since it seem ok to settle.
The sky is still filled with ashes, the sun become orange, it look awesome looking at it.
This fire is worse than what happen 4 years ago. but this time, people are prepared for it and got stuff as they need, it very calm pace to leave the town than it was four years ago
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Hello you guys, I have the feeling that you're spamming my topic! :weep:
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Well, I think there are many different ways how the family or the friends will react.
In fact, I had a real bad time with my parents after I had my coming out. Both, my mother as well as my father, couldn't understand that and they treid to "change my mind" to be "normal" again. I had real much discussions abaout that and one time it was so heavy, that my parents told me to leave the house.
So I did that. I Had luck that my boyfreind already had is own flat, so I went to him and staid there. After a few month I had contact with my parents again. Not the sort of contact you may wish to have to your parents, but what should I do?
By now I have my own flat as well. I have a real great job to do and my new boyfriend is just awesome
The contact to my parents has become better by now. I think they accept it boy now, even if they give me hints to become "normal" again. But this is my decision. I have my own live and so they can't tell me what to do or not. Everything's fine for me.
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Well, I think there are many different ways how the family or the friends will react.
In fact, I had a real bad time with my parents after I had my coming out. Both, my mother as well as my father, couldn't understand that and they treid to "change my mind" to be "normal" again. I had real much discussions abaout that and one time it was so heavy, that my parents told me to leave the house.
So I did that. I Had luck that my boyfreind already had is own flat, so I went to him and staid there. After a few month I had contact with my parents again. Not the sort of contact you may wish to have to your parents, but what should I do?
By now I have my own flat as well. I have a real great job to do and my new boyfriend is just awesome
The contact to my parents has become better by now. I think they accept it boy now, even if they give me hints to become "normal" again. But this is my decision. I have my own live and so they can't tell me what to do or not. Everything's fine for me.
Are you a the only child?
i noticed the couple with the only child in the family is more closed minded to gay because they want their child to have children. that is what almost all parent dream is to have a grandchildren, but the only child in the family being gay would shatter that dream, even gay can have a child.
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Yes, I'm the only child. I know this could be the reason why they react like this. I can understand that they wanted to have grandchildren, but in another way I can not understand why other parents, who only have one child too, react very cool to this. I mean they also have only one child but they are not just like my parents.
Hmm…. Guess I will never figure this out^^
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Yes, I'm the only child. I know this could be the reason why they react like this. I can understand that they wanted to have grandchildren, but in another way I can not understand why other parents, who only have one child too, react very cool to this. I mean they also have only one child but they are not just like my parents.
Hmm…. Guess I will never figure this out^^
it depends how parent are raised. the parent values is passed down from their parent. so basically you are carrying your values from your parent
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Hello
OK first i want to say sorry for my english writing.
I know that i'm gay from my 12 year. I told to my friends first and they took it very good. They even tray to find me a boyfriend. Then i say to my sister. First that she said is: "Cool! Now we can spoke about boys together.". Then my brother find it and he think that i need a doctor. Offcourse he said it to my mother. Then she ask me and i say that is correct. And i tell her that i have a boyfriend and so on. She didn't want to meet him. Now she know him and everything is ok. I still didn't say it to my dad. I know that he knows but we didin't speak about it. But i know that he is ok with that. few weaks ago we went to some dinner in are firm and he drink lot of alchol. and when my boyfrined call me in 3 AM people with as was thinking that my grilfriend call me and he says NO it is his boyfriend. On my lucky nobody didn't hear him. -
so the question is how we came out lol. well i came out in a few different ways, when i was fourteen my mom caught me downloading gay porn and we got in a huge fight over it. that's how she found out. i told all of my siblings they were all cool with it. a couple of years later when i was about fifteen i ran away because of all the problems i was having. while i was gone my brother told my dad(which he didn't inform me of this for a year or so). so then for the next long while my dad was very shitty to me for no reason. we fought like hell for years and i had no respect for him. at school it was a differennt story i came out of the closet and went from being the loner off by himself that no one talkedto, to being the most popular kid in my school friends with everyone. in my senior year i became so popular i was elected senior class president head of the prom committee head of the homecoming committee and president of a couple school clubs. in my senior year i got in a fight with my dad and i got thrown out of the house so i was sleaping on other peple's couches for a long time. finally after a couple years of untreated bipolar and depression i ended up in a psyche hospital convinced that the world hated me for being gay. while i was there my dad told me i wouldn't be depressed if i wasn't gay. that comment started the biggest fight i've ever had with him. i think it finally made him realise i wouldn't put up with his bigotry and neither would my siblings so now we are all cool. now i live with my boyfriend of 2 years and his family out in the country his whole family and my whole family know and love eachother they've all met. my grandparents like my boyfriend better than my sisters lol.
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Heya thomas,
I think i can relate to your thoughts.
I was out to my parents when i was 23. It was an incident, my mum found my diary (not porn, it was back at 90s and you can't download porn from the internet yet!) i save in the computer. there is nothing sexual, but she knew. She asked me, and I told her. then she told my dad.
12 years past, me and my parents are still close. we had our ups and down– we even went through those counseling stuff, though my intention is to get my parents to talk to someone as i think i am pretty fine to accept my identity. we had our rough time, particularly when my mum found naked guys photo in the computer (damn computer!) we had good time, too, when my parents met my ex bf for a dinner before Chinese new year and gave both of pocket money and i felts like the role in Ang Lee's "Double Wedding". We still have our uncertain-- when i ask my parents if one day i decide to have gay marriage would they approve, they are very very hesitated ...
There will never be a best timing to come out-- be financially independent, i honestly think it is crap. you know how parents consider kids are always kids in Chinese society, no matter you are 5 or 50. The only reason for people claiming to get independent first is the come out turn disaster, you can live on your own. I have to say, in my opinion, it is just fully irresponsible. coming out is, unfortunately, an ongoing process to both you and those people around you. as Chinese is a collective society it is even true.
The question you have to ask is probably, are you truly comfortable with your own identify? gay or straight, there are many confusing people out there. If you are happy about yourself, people will be happy for you. The mentality independent, if you gonna ask when is the best time you can come out, it is the day you do not have to live under influence from other people's opinion.
hope this help.
P.When and how did you know that you were gay? When and how did you come out? What did you have to sacrifice to come out into the world and say: "Yes, I'm gay"?
I first knew I preferred men when my "male" friend squeezed my dick under my pants and I wanted him to hold it forever there when I was 14. I wanna to shout out loud that I'm gay and wanna a boy's hand in the street but some forum says unless you are out of age and financially safe, don't come out yet. Coming from an Asian country with conservative parents, especially in homosexual concerns, I don't dare to tell them yet nor encourage them to have a brighter view at gay people. So if you have come out and been OK with it, share some experience plz! Being 18 and dependent on parents, it's still not the right time to them yet, right?
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