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    How do fetishes start? Is it a choice?

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    • B Offline
      bob85
      last edited by

      I'm curious how fetishes start/are developed. For example, I've been very fond of bondage since I was about 12. I remember seeing a scene in a movie where a guy was tied up/gagged and I was mesmerized by that scene. Even though I didn't quite understand what I was feeling at that age, I still remember liking what I saw in the movie. Bondage turns me on instantly..I get a boner within seconds of seeing a hot guy tied up/gagged. I can't explain how or why I get a thrill when seeing guys in bondage…but its definitely my biggest fetish/kink.

      I know foot fetishes are pretty common. I don't have a foot fetish - I tried being attracted to men's feet (staring at men's feet and jacking off to them) but I'm just indifferent about that part of a male's body. Nevertheless, I know many gay guys go crazy over men's feet.

      Do you think fetishes are similar to sexual orientation in that neither aren't necessarily 'choices'?
      I know I didn't 'choose' to be attracted to male bondage.

      Care to share some of your fetishes?

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      • D Offline
        Dene
        last edited by

        I think - just like sexuality, our fetishes just are. I think the choice lies in how we express them and what we do about them.

        I also have a theory that some fetishes are based on things/events/lifestyle at the time our sexuality was kicking in - e.g. my "thing" is voyeurism - strangers getting changed in a locker room - open showers etc - i'm not sure if it is coincidence or not but my sexual awakenings coincided with more school swimming trips, sporty club stuff etc - i also love speedos lol and love seeing men's feet (not kissing etc just looking) - so to me it all coincides with that time.. so i always think "was it i got lucky at the time or did it sort of manifest because I was around that atmosphere?"

        I look at it like this. Fetishes are easier to not act upon, or only slightly act upon. E.G. A middle aged 60s housewife who was actually a lesbian may have had a fair bit of torment/confusion but a 60s housewife into bondage will not be crying herself to sleep over it.. if that makes sense ?

        As sexual liberation has changed/gone forward, I think we are seeing the stigma of most fetishes fade or at least not be  so 😮 - there are some glaring exceptions - scat is an obvious one

        if you are not - like you say - attracted to men's feet then so be it..  i think bondage is interesting but my pain threshold is -20 lol - in other words we are all different.. makes it fun 😄

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