How to tell a straight friend you're gay not loosing his firendship?

spam17

If he destroys your friendship over that, he isn't really a friend and he is doing you a favour.

In the worst case you would be just friendds!

::)

LloydeRos

If you loose his friendship then it isn't worth as much as you think it is. A true friend will accept you for who and what you are (within reason) and would support you fully for being honest and truthful to him as well as yourself. The sooner you tell him, the sooner you can get on with your life with or without him.

Well said! I'm in a somewhat similar situation and this is great advice. Thank you.

mattb36469

Glad the community were able to help. Let us know how it goes! Its always interesting to see how things pan out and you never know, may help people in the future.

eastonkellan

Why are you afraid of losing his friendship? In telling him you're gay you will be able to see if he is a True friend by the way he will react

LloydeRos

@mattb36469:

Glad the community were able to help. Let us know how it goes! Its always interesting to see how things pan out and you never know, may help people in the future.

So far nothings progressing. Sent him an email and he hasn't replied to it. I can get a few words out of him when I message him on Skype, but only a few and somewhat rarely. I don't know whether I should keep waiting or just move on and forget about him. I'm kind of leaning towards the latter, to be honest. It's a shame because he seemed like such a cool and nice guy at first.

breeze21

I'm in a similar scenario, and I honestly haven't thought too much about it because I keep very busy with work. I am not sure how people will react but I do know this. The people who care about me regardless of my own preferences and tastes are the people I need in my life. I believe we should treat people the way we want to be treated and if you express your love and are a good friend to someone, it should be returned. It shouldn't matter whether one is gay or straight unless it is more than a friendship. If this particular person is not accepting, then that is their problem and there are plenty of people who will be good to you through out the rest of your life!

Also, don't put yourself in a place or situation where you could get hurt. And I'm saying this for myself too. When I'm completely open with family and friends, I'm hoping to just show up one day with a boyfriend, a big smile on my face and that's it.

scramer

if you're dating or in a relationship, I like the idea of just showing up with your Bf. :hug:

LloydeRos

Talked to my friend about it again today (well, we're more like acquaintances at the moment but I want to be friends). Or, rather, got him to tell me why he hasn't responded to the email I sent. He said it's because he doesn't know what to say. I just told him to think about it and give me an answer when he has one. I have a feeling I won't ever get one.

Thesock

It's always easier to start by being out about being gay, if you live in a country where it's acceptable just be out from the beginning.

When you're friends with someone for years and then tell them you're gay they might react by thinking "I never hid anything from my friend so why did this friend hide that he was gay from me" and it can create distrust because you hid something from him.

I've lived in 4 cities and have had the chance to re-invent myself when I've moved. It's still really hard to come out to people in my hometown who've known me since I was in highschool but it's very easy to tell people I'm gay in the city I currently live in because everyone knows it and accepts it.

JACK777

You should tell him that being gay is not the only thing that defines you. Masculinity or femininity have nothing to do with being gay. Just tell your friend that. You need to educate him. If you still feel that he is not okay with the idea then all you can do is move on.