Dealing with homophobic friends
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i say tell him, if he cant handle it, then he was never meant to be your friend in the first place
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As long as you don't feel you would be in danger by doing so, I say tell him. I recommend finding a non threatening place to tell him as well. If your in college, your dorm room is not a good place to have this conversation. I've had friends in the past who were slightly homophobic tell me that me coming out to them and then hearing my story actually made them think the issue over and gave them a different perspective and now they are great GLBTQ allies. Whenever possible I think it is our responsibility to educate people on how we're just like everyone else and just as deserving of respect as anyone else. If it works out, be prepared for 1. Your friend either to be super sensitive in trying not to offend you, 2. Your friend continuing to make homophobic remarks without realizing it. 3. Your friend completely ignoring your sexuality, or 4. Your friend to think your coming out to him because you have feelings for him. For 1. you'll want to let your friend know you don't want them walking on eggshells around you and you'll be honest if something does offend you and be open to discussing it. For 2. you need to be patient and explain what the homophobic remark is litterally saying i.e. 'that's so gay for that's so stupid/feminine/uncool is not just a saying but a method to belittle gays and make being gay synonymous with something undesirable', how it makes you feel, and how it could make other who overhear feel 'good place to quote that GLBTQ teens are at extremely high risk of suicide and being exposed to intolerance increases that risk. For 3. you really have to get it through your friends head that taking an interest in your dating/love life does not mean that your going to start blabbing about your sex life and talking about giving blowjobs and anal sex. 4. Tell your friend to get over himself, just like he doesn't find every girl attractive, you don't find every guy attractive, and just like he, i hope, doesn't force himself on women, you do not force yourself on men.
Best of Luck, Let us know how it goes !
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yeah definately good luck man, hope it turns out great!!
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I had some homophobic friends until I realised they were not actually my friends.
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if he is ur best friend, he will understand
if he doesnt understand ur situation, well, time to dump him… lol -
:cry2:
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This is a no brainer.
He is not your friend. Stay the hell away.
Have some self respect. -
Growing up I had a homophobic best friend and yet when he found out about me he was okay with it.
Tell him, if he doesn't accept you, then fine you have one less hater in your life.
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He isn't your friend. There are plenty of people who will accept you. Go be friends with them instead.
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Friend in need is a friend in deed, if he is a real friend hi will support you.
yeah, that discribes the shortest way
absolutely on pointi agree also, the best way forward is to tell him discretely. and if he values your friendship he'll stick around, trust me bro
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It happened to me. I was really sad first, but after a lot of talk and not so easy days, we get close and today he is no longer homophobian
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They aren't your friends. Or. Are gay themselves
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Just to share… Almost all of my friends are homophobic. But I was really surprised that they didn't stop communicating with me even after my coming out. They told that this fact doesn't change what kind of person you are.
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I'd join the rest here, stay away. Also, just one small hint for you, the only acquaintance that had an issue with my coming out turned out to be also gay much later so there you have it….
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Personally yeah I would keep a distance. If he/she is a straight up homophobe and there's no talking sense to them then why be friends with them?
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We live in a world where your home (and I mean region, city, even neighborhood) makes a difference. If you live in a relatively safe environment, tell him directly. If you live in a "problem" area, tell him indirectly and get a feel for his overall sense of "alternative lifestyles."
If you live in a challenging area, use the Internet to find the nearest LGBT support group, even if it's a two-hour drive, and make new and freethinking friends. :ghug:
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We deserve better than surround ourselves with people who don't make us feel good. Befriend people who bring out the best in yourself, because we deserve to be happy.
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