Do childless people ever regret not having children..?

papifarz

The people I know who chose not to and have children have no regrets.

justwith

From my perspective, those who have children – even partly as an insurance policy for their own elder care -- is a sad reason, indeed.

I don't have children. I don't want children. I'm a bit too eccentric to provide the constant oversight and sacrifice required. I enjoy the company of some of my friend's kids at parties, especially if they're thoughtful and bright for their age.

And I'm saving enough money for retirement so that I've got a spare bedroom for a private-duty nurse, if ever the need may arise.

Agreed. I am too into myself for it ( i am not too self-centered, only have my priorities in order now). Even take care for a couple of hours for my little nephew is really cute but not something i would like to do more than that-

Kipowen

children are gift to mankind . they just make the house exciting and beautiful. can be challenging but fulfilling all the time

A Former User

No regrets on us not having or adopting children, but once in a big while there might be a . . . what if . . .. Searched and found this topic, because today is one of those what if days, with Christmas coming up and we have not seen the kids lately because of Covid-19.

Have changed plenty of diapers, and pitched in when asked between relatives, neighbors, and friends. Some have went on vacations with us. The most rewarding times were with helping kids with challenges, especially when they need physical therapy. Kids are sometimes easier to surprise and delight.

No regrets, but do miss them.

roryisms

I don't think they regret it, but I believe that some will miss that kind of thing in the future. As for me, I know I definitely would.

flozen

@roryisms I think it's sweet that you would miss having children, but for those of us whose paternal instincts are not strong enough to adopt or surrogate, etc., there are usually some very satisfying alternatives.

Many in this group have nieces or nephews with whom they can spend time regularly, or at least on holiday get-togethers. As an only child, I don't have that option, but I have friends and neighbors with kids, and that works fine for me.

Woodybuzz

definitely a subjective thing - would vary from person to person.

semurg30

I'm an only child. I really wish I could be an uncle but kinda neutral about being a dad. I know I would never want to be a step dad.

lololulu19

Having children for elder care is not a good reason at all.. for a few reasons.

First of all, do you really want to ruin your children's lives by having them taking care of you 24/7 like having an elderly baby?

Second.. children rarely want to get involved with elder care anymore. My mother anticipated that she could move in with one of my brothers eventually. Well, he would have none of that.. and he moved 3100 miles away.. as far away as possible while still being in the USA - just to avoid being hit up by her. He also did not give her his phone number. When she did get ahold of him and asked about moving in with him, he told her that she would need a minimum of $1 million to do that. So.. my mom didn't have enough assets and savings to satisfy my brother's requirments to move in with him.

Nobody wanted to take care of my father. Both of my brothers lived just a few miles from him, while I had moved a thousand miles away. I had to move back here just to take care of him because he was expected to die within weeks and was BEGGING me to come back and take care of him. I did.. and I regret it. I managed to keep him alive for 11 years, and he made my life a living hell during those 11 years.

My mother was an RN nurse. Her plan was to retire and open an assisted living facility for the elderly. Well, not only did that not happen, but she put her husbands father and her own mother into nursing homes. How ironic.. an RN who spent her life taking care of a ward of 40 patients.. refuses to even take care of her own mother!

lololulu19

another reason for not having children...

As I mentioned, one is unlikely to ever have their children taking care of them when they get elderly.. BUT it is far more likely that the parent will wind up taking care of the CHILDREN throughout their entire lives. With children moving back in.. being stuck raising the grandchildren.. paying the mortgages of their children, etc.

raphjd

@Woodybuzz said in Do childless people ever regret not having children..?:

definitely a subjective thing - would vary from person to person.

Exactly.

I know people on both sides.

5ive7eventie

weird but I think of this debate the same way as the 'intactivism' debate xd... hear me out ok...
it's like, it's better to be in a neutral state (childless, in this case) and live out your life and gain experiences before you decide to make the permanent irreversible decision of bearing child, Which you might regret
either way i'm NOT having kids hehe i don't need anybody to tell me otherwise, I don't see ANY way i might regret that

bi4smooth

I was 35 and content to know I was unlikely to ever have children of my own... then (and I'm not joking) the condom broke once, and my daughter was conceived. I married her mother (I did love her, and she/we were great for about 10 years! Then her mother had a stroke and moved in with us, and my wife turned into a very wicked witch). We tried to have more biological kids, but complications during my daughter's birth left her unable to carry more children... so we became foster parents, and along the way we adopted... and adopted... and adopted! All told, I have 9 beautiful children (and one.... no, they're all beautiful, all unique [no full-blood brothers or sisters], and all joys in my life)

I lived a wild live until 35, and you could make a case for it being a WILD almost-25 years since then... but I have no regrets! My kids are all awesome, each in their own way!