Losing friends after coming out?
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Already had mine distanced themselves the moment they began to suspect that I'm attracted to guys.
One even told me to stay away until he or me got married. So it was not even a 'coming out' stage yet! LOL ::)The good news was, it was I who decide walk out on them. They never abandon me, because I took the liberty to do that to them in advance. Who needed people that can't be supportive to your true nature, right? Beside, it's their loss anyway.
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YES… and YES...
ON LOSING FRIENDS - Well, turns out I never really needed them anyway...
ON GAINING FRIENDS - They are still my closest of friends today... and I'm very lucky to have found them
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What it boils down to is this: if people decide they don't like you anymore after finding out you're gay, they weren't really friends with you to begin with and clearly didn't know much about you. They're not worth worrying about, and certainly not worth keeping in your life.
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When I came out, nobody had a clue about me being gay. Everyone just assumed I was a chick magnet :blind:.
Then one day after I had had enough of the lie's, I just snapped.
Right in the locker room after football practice. Everybody just looked at me and thought I was joking. Then one of the guys made comment about me looking at his junk. I replied that I wasn't attracted to tiny peters and was more attracted to my friend Sams Pussy punisher. :afr:
Everybody just laughed and nobody seemed to take me serious. Then after we all got dressed and we were walking to our cars, the guys started asking me if I was serious?
When dead silence hit, that was when I figured they finally got what I was saying.
The next 2 practices were kind of quite and no one said much.
But then the curiosity started coming out and I was getting all kinds of questions. Everything from how I knew?, to what I ate that made me gay. It was weird.
But I eventually went on a date with a couple of the guys and had a blast. Sam turned out to be everything I had knew he was. The only person in my entire friends circle that had a problem was a little quite friend who was a bookworm. He became very antigay towards me and refused to hang out or even be seen talking to me.
Several years later, in college, the bookworm approached me and told me he was bisexual and that he was married and had a couple of kids.
He asked if we might go out for drinks one night? My reply was swift and to the point. "Sorry, but I don't hang around lying, deceitful people who are uglier on the inside than on the outside." Then I walked away.So no, I really didn't loose any friends from coming out. I did gain a few fuck buddies.
BUT!!!! I was never teased about being a faggot or called feminine. In fact, I was the guy who looked like the last person on earth that you wanted to piss off.
Many of my friends who were feminine and gay, or as they called it "fabulously flaming", they lost lots of friends and family.
Which never made sense to me. They looked and acted gay always. You would have to be blind and deaf to not know they were gay. So why get all upset when they say their gay?I came out in 1980
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It just goes to show how shallow and intolerable some people are. If he/she acted all buddy-buddy with you before he/she knew you were gay and then rejected your friendship after you coming out, then he/she wasn't really your friend. That's what I call a "fake friendship" - someone who 'acts' like they're your friend/feels like they got your back, but really doesn't care enough about you to look past your sexuality.
A true friend wouldn't ever do that to you.
and to answer your question…yes a couple have. I kinda sensed they were jerks anyways before I came out to them. Glad they aren't in my life anymore
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Weirdly, I didn't lose any friends when I came out. However, it was when I took a stand against homophobia that my real friends remained.
An example was when I was at a party, where we were talking about our holiday travels. I mentioned I stayed at a friend's house for a few days, when a casual friend said, "So you sold your backside to him so that you could stay at his house."
I looked at him and replied, " This may surprise you, but gay people CAN have normal friendships with straight people with no sexual feelings involved. You might want to open your mind more."
Luckily there wasn't violence involved because
A) Everyone was glaring at him
B) I was 1.5 times his size. In muscle mass. -
sad
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me and my friended are deserted from the class room when my classmate caught my friend sucking my dick, he informed to everyone is class that we become lone
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I never lost a friend when I came out. But I knew few people who did.
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yes
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thankfully not yet…
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yes . and it hurts.
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I was lucky enough that every singe one of my real close friends was able to accept me when I came out to them. :love:
I did have a few who were less supportive and decided to distance themselves, but we were never that close to begin with.Lucky you!
;D
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yes
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Though my society is quiet homophobic I didn't have any problems caused by coming out. Even with a straight guy on which I had a crush.
I still don't believe all this to be true. -
It will happen unfortunately. As gay people we get to pick our friends and family.
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I lost one person who I thought was my best friend. I have made many new friends since then.
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My first friend I came out to when I was 18 ended up giving me up as a friend. She was a Catholic that picked and chose what she found moral, and me being gay didn't sit well with her. What's ironic is that she only did anal because she wanted to stay a "virgin" until marriage and when told me about all the guys that fucked her in the ass didn't judge and cheered her on.
Aside from her though, -every- person I've told over the 7 years since has been really accepting and I've made TONS of friends that replaced her.
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I never lost any friends when I came out. But then again I really didn't hide like lots of guys do.
I just told people my barn door was open to all cowboys or cowgirls. Nobody on my football team ever said a word to me. I was still invited to part's and out on dates. Even hooked up with a couple of my teammates years later.
The only person I lost as a friend wasn't because of my being gay so much because he was very cool with it. But his wife some years later didn't feel comfortable with me and him going fishing and hanging out. So he kind of just quit speaking to me. But that was years after the fact.
family was a totally different story.
Most of my cousins avoid me like the plaque. Because most of us have had lots of sex together when we were kids. -
so anal sex doesnt make one non virgin? how crude? isnt that worse than vaginal sex? your friend is kinda twisted
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