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    Straights in gay clubs?!

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    • M Offline
      magentas
      last edited by

      @spam17:

      "If you're straight and you've never been to a gay club then you're homophobic."

      If you're a man and you've never been to a women's bathroom then you're sexist!

      That is just silly.

      When I saw the title "Straights in gay clubs" I thought it would be asking if it is OK for straight people to be there- not demanding that they should!

      Everyone likes to have a "Safe space" that is just them. I don't think it's bad for some straight friends to come with their gay friends from time to time, but if EVERY straight person started hanging out at gay clubs, then how the hell would it be a gay club!?!?

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      • C Offline
        Cole562
        last edited by

        I've never been in a gay club…does that make me homophobic?

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        • S Offline
          semurg30
          last edited by

          I have a straight drinking buddy who admitted he went to a gay club a few times to "support a friend" whatever that means. I wish I found that endearing…honestly I felt creeped out a little for some reason I couldn't quite articulate.

          I didn't find it supportive...more like that feeling a black person probably gets when a white friend feels they've the right to use the N word.  Not the same thing at all but I don't want straight friends in the gay part of my world and I don't want to be the token gay friend that gets them off the hook every time they do something douchey. With strangers I don't care where they go. But I don't want straight friends trying to bond with me about how supportive they are. I can stomach a somewhat homophobic friend who's at least honest about their feelings and boundaries...I don't want a fake supposedly supportive friend...those are the worst.

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          • S Offline
            SemenDemon
            last edited by

            "If you're straight and you've never been to a gay club then you're homophobic."

            I think that assumption is entirely baseless and totally idiotic.

            @semurg30:

            more like that feeling a black person probably gets when a white friend feels they've the right to use the N word.  Not the same thing at all

            Uh, yeah. Not by a country mile.

            I really couldn't give less fucks about it, personally. Frankly, I've got more important shit to worry about. It's only annoying when it's some girl who constantly wants to make a scene of herself for being the "loveable hag" who's "so down" and "omg, loves gay ppl!", as if it's even about her. Fortunately, most straight people don't do that in my experience. There's always going to be that minority of people who do. Yeah, it's misguided and annoying, but it's really not worth having a conniption over. I'm enough of an adult not to get "like, so triggered RN" over something so insignificant.

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            • N Offline
              nancledra53
              last edited by

              Many years back,(late 1970's) I was a regular in a mixed straight/gay pub to the East of London. One side of the pub straight, the other side gay, but sometimes we "strayed" into the other side of the pub when nights got busy. The bar staff were almost totally gay.  Often I saw a guy who worked in the same place as me but not in the same area. I always assumed that he was straight, and we never spoke, and he never acknowledged me, or even to cruise the guys or indeed talk to others. Then one night in the bar there he was with a hot guy playing tonsil tennis, and they were close to ripping off the clothes of each other. The barman calling for a bucket of water to be thrown over them.

              Didn't really fancy the guy myself, I left the company a couple of years later and never spoke to the guy.

              You never always know for sure….........................do you!

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              • B Offline
                brianboru72
                last edited by

                @semurg30:

                I have a straight drinking buddy who admitted he went to a gay club a few times to "support a friend" whatever that means. I wish I found that endearing…honestly I felt creeped out a little for some reason I couldn't quite articulate.

                I didn't find it supportive...more like that feeling a black person probably gets when a white friend feels they've the right to use the N word.  Not the same thing at all but I don't want straight friends in the gay part of my world and I don't want to be the token gay friend that gets them off the hook every time they do something douchey. With strangers I don't care where they go. But I don't want straight friends trying to bond with me about how supportive they are. I can stomach a somewhat homophobic friend who's at least honest about their feelings and boundaries...I don't want a fake supposedly supportive friend...those are the worst.

                Going to a gay club for the first time, I wasn't feeling confident about it and I didn't have any close gay friends yet at the time- so my best friend who is straight, agreed to come along with me and be my date for the night. I appreciated the gesture, he didn't have to go with me but he did anyway just to make me feel better.

                Tell someone you love them today, because life is short.
                But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.

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                • W Offline
                  wajag
                  last edited by

                  And waht if you never go to a straight club? Does it mean you are heterophobic? 😛

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                  • A Offline
                    advogatobras
                    last edited by

                    "And waht if you never go to a straight club? Does it mean you are heterophobic? "

                    I know that I am. lol

                    but i dont mind that straight people come to gay clubs. diversity is great.

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                    • Z Offline
                      z3n1th
                      last edited by

                      @spam17:

                      "If you're straight and you've never been to a gay club then you're homophobic."
                      Would you agree with this view of things?

                      What's your opinion?

                      I disagree.. I think the statement is too general.. perhaps if the statement was "If a person has not been to a gay club because he dislikes gay people, that person is homophobic", the answer would be different..

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                      • E Offline
                        edster612
                        last edited by

                        Disagree completely.

                        Even as a gay man I don't go to many gay clubs.  I find them to be very superficial and concentrated only on outward appearance and fashion sense.

                        Straight men that go to gay clubs could also be homophobic, they could just be working on that particular issue in their lives.  I think homophobia would be something that's hard to express at a gay club.  Homophobia expresses itself at other venues, in daily life, at the work place, in more public places.

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                        • T Offline
                          tinci01
                          last edited by

                          @semurg30:

                          I have a straight drinking buddy who admitted he went to a gay club a few times to "support a friend" whatever that means. I wish I found that endearing…honestly I felt creeped out a little for some reason I couldn't quite articulate.

                          I didn't find it supportive...more like that feeling a black person probably gets when a white friend feels they've the right to use the N word.  Not the same thing at all but I don't want straight friends in the gay part of my world and I don't want to be the token gay friend that gets them off the hook every time they do something douchey. With strangers I don't care where they go. But I don't want straight friends trying to bond with me about how supportive they are. I can stomach a somewhat homophobic friend who's at least honest about their feelings and boundaries...I don't want a fake supposedly supportive friend...those are the worst.

                          I'm sorry, but if you don't like your straight friends to be a part of your gay life, maybe you don't consider them really friends. Why are some of you guys trying to push your gay life apart from the other part of you. It's all you. And if your friends give you grief about how you live your life, they're not your friends. And about those bars. Everyone can go to straight bar, noone is talking about who'd go there and who wouldn't, but to go or not to go to gay pub, there has to be a discussion. I never went to gay pubs or maybe I did actually because I never knew where they were and these days I just don't go out anymore that much. I know there's this club where gay ppl would go on sundays, other nights were for everyone.

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