Probably done before but Curious about everyones sexuality?

[chubchaser]

I consider myself gay. In my early teen years 14-17 I considered myself straight until I started to get different feelings and urges that I had never had before.

[Aurbierre]

I think sexuality is a difficult thing to just slip into small box with a tag attached to it. When asked what's my sexuality I immediately say gay, that doesn't necessarily mean that I regard myself as 100% gay.

At present I do have on the very odd occasion some attraction to females, but even then I cannot imagine myself actually being physically and emotionally attached to a woman. I can see what men see in some women and I can understand why men are aroused by them physically, but I can only go so far before i hit a wall. I remember spending almost all my teenage years trying to break down that wall and I only succeeded 5-6 times, and that did not include my failed relationship with my first girlfriend. It frustrated me because I knew since I was 8-9 that girls wasn't my thing.

As time progressed I gradually accepted the way things were, but then.. when I was about 23 I remember seeing a woman sitting next to me and it was the first time in my life I felt sexually turned on. It confused the hell out of me cuz I felt like I fought so hard for this and never got it and when I was comfortable I discovered bisexual urges. I decided to grab some straight porn, cuz it was my only outlet as I was in a steady relationship at the time and it was surprising how I was able to get very far, but on each count I had to revert to gay porn to finish myself off cuz I would hit another wall.

This lasted for almost 6-7 months and since then I am back to where I started. I do notice attractive women now, but the sexual feelings are detached.

I would regard myself as bi, but my feelings lasted for a small phase and who knows it may return again, but for now I make it simple for everyone and just say am gay as it's been the most dominant feeling so far in my life.

[assoom]

Firmly, definitely, deeply, faithfully 100% GAY.

[yababylol]

MrE …. I think you and I interacted briefly in my thread about "pretty twinks" and Frank Wolf. I can't believe I missed this thread of yours, because it speaks to me!

Look at my avatar, and I think you'll have the answer about me. I do hate labels ... for a long time, I felt uneasy about revealing what I really am to either gay or straight people, because the few times I had tried when I was young and naive (and believe me, I've had a difficult time "choosing" a gender to be attracted to since my very first grade school crushes) ... I always met with confusion, resistance, and even (especially in the gay community) outright hostility. I eventually learned that most gay people (and a lot of straight people) have known at least one guy that at one point used the "bisexual" label as a sort of stepping stone on their personal path of coming to identify as 100% gay. Unfortunately, it has also been my experience that this fact has lead a lot of people to draw blanket conclusions and assume that any male that claims an attraction to both sexes is "lying" or "in denial."  I mean, we've all heard of that biased, bogus study that _**"PROVED" that there was no such thing as a bisexual man, right?

I actually just now tried to find an old Family Guy joke I remembered, where some random character desperately tried to assert that there was a big difference between a "gay" guy and a bisexual guy. I couldn't find it … but it always did speak to me. I know that kind of desperation. There's a kind of identity crisis that people with a strong enough preference to pick a side can never understand, when it comes to that. They rarely have to face accusations that they don't even exist.  :afr:

As I got into my late twenties, I started to realize that even "bisexual" was a label created by a society that obsessed with putting people into little, neat, categorical boxes. I'm very much with you -- I like a person, not a gender. I do like different things in men and women on a superficial level, and I imagine different things with them sexually when I fantasize, and have done different things with them when I've been with them ... but all the same, I can work in that range and find myself pretty open to adapting.

My sexuality is absolutely fluid. I've only realized this very recently, within the last couple of years or so, because I was also obsessed with finding the best label to put on myself. At the end of the day, though, as I fluxuated between attractions to someone of on one gender, then someone from the opposite ... I realized that I was nothing more than a completely blank slate. I tend to be most attracted to whatever gender that represents THE PERSON that I'm most attracted to in that point in my life. We all have these little mini-crushes that mean little, I think ... but in my singleness, they can actually influence the kind of stuff I jerk off to.

I like a person first ... and of course, like any man, I like sex ... but the details of the kind of sex to have with that person generally follows my attraction to the person. I don't know if that makes sense, but it's how I feel.  

I've found that many people are surprised to learn that all of that fluidity doesn't necessarily mean that I want to fuck around with anything and everything. My ideal of a "good" relationship is monogamy. I'm a romantic softy! It's just that I want the human being, not necessarily the details of how we fit together physically ... and as I can find both genders beautiful, it's pretty easy for me to adapt my sexual role to fit.

I generally like to see myself in a dominant, masculine role at least 70-80% of the time, though, male or female partner. I'd be curious to know how many men there are out there like myself and MrE ... I think there are for more than will admit it. Society's pressure to "pick a side" has claimed so many of us. :-(**_

[raphjd]

Emotional attachments aren't the same as sexual attraction.

I could be emotionally attached to a woman, but I couldn't see my self eating her vag.

[hozehound]

I identify as "gay", but I see that as a "verbal shorthand" primarily.  It tells other guys that if they want to cruise me I won't react with hostility.  I hope that it tells women that if they're interested in a physical relationship with me (how I flatter myself here!) that it's pretty unlikely, but not impossible.  There have been and very occasionally are "special cases"…    As an aside, I agree with previous comments about some people being too eager to "classify" others into overly simplistic categories that fail to allow for all the complexities and nuances of the human condition.  The binary logic of gay/straight, yes/no, 1/0 is simple.  Multiple dimensions all consisting of shades of grey are harder to work with but I think they're usually more accurately descriptive when dealing with life.

I also agree with the previous poster who found sexual attraction to be different and separate to emotional attachment or bonding.  For me, I think this has to do with my upbringing which taught that 'sex' was base and low and dirty while 'love' was pure and spiritual and beautiful.  I don't actually believe in those categorizations (any more) but sex for me is still something qualitatively different from love and friendship.  I find that it's rare to meet someone with whom I have both a good emotional connection and a good sexual connection.  It seems that the emotional connections (usually friendships) last, but the sexual interest lessens over time.

[lianna]

I don't know what the hell I like but I know I am not 100% straight.
I just know that not being out of the closet while not making a big deal out of it at the same time is the best carefree way to live with it.

[bear1515]

I don't think the biggest problem is the naming of things, but more how people see it. When you say gay, straight, bissexual, people think only about the sex thing, but it's not like that. Of course sex is involved, but it's also about the emotional aspect. I consider someone gay if he has both sexual and emotional attraction.

But human mind is really complex, and it's hard to categorize, so there are many people who believes that they don't fit in any of those Oo. And about the free spirit thing, to me it's bisexuality. You think that only because you're not into the sex, you're not bisexual, because you believe it's only related to sex. Although relationships start mostly based on appearance, they always evolve into personality itself. So basically, I think real bisexual people search for someone that makes them happy, not only for sex. Like everybody else.

But to me when you take sex away, it becomes like a regular friendship. Sex is one of the most basic human instinct, and it is needed. So most people need sex, and that's why it's categorized like that.

And answering your question, I always considered myself gay (starting on my puberty of course Oo), but took me some time to accept it. I actually have some emotion attachment to some women, but it's nothing compared to what I feel about men, with men it's not only the emotion attachment, but the physical attachment too. And also I think I would never be able to date a women, our minds are so different, I see straight couples fighting all the time about the most stupid things, I wouldn't be able to handle this kind of relationship, hehehe.

And to me I have no age requirement, I really don't care, as long as I like the guy. And contrary to some answers, I more into bears. I have no attraction at all to slimmer guys, with hairless bodies, it's easier to me to feel attraction for a women than a guy like that Oo. So yes, I really into appearances. If I don't feel any sexual attraction, to me is just simple friendship. To consider it a real emotional attachment, it must have some physical attraction.

Yes human mind is extremely complex, I can't explain why I like that kind of men, or why sometimes I have emotional attachment with women, although I would never have a relationship with them Oo.

[deyesed]

I think a lot of people don't realize that who you fall in love with might not be the same gender as who you want to have sex with, which also may be different from who you like in your porn.

[Ellis]

Bi 'til I die! :cheers:

[SemenDemon]

I chose gay. By and large, that is accurate in every way. But I've never been very sexually motivated in the first place, so it does not seem inconceivable that I could potentially fall in love with and have physical relations with someone of the opposite sex. The way I look at it, sex can either be merely a form of glorified masturbation, or something totally transcendent that people with a profoundly deep, indelible bond can communicate "spiritually" through. That's not to say that sex is ever absolutely one or the other, but real (read: consensual) sex always exists on a continuum somewhere between the two.

While I don't see myself ever getting that close to a woman or someone transitioning MtF, FtM or somewhere in between, I certainly don't consider it out of the question. I do believe in my own capacity for love/interconnection that goes beyond gender and corporeal presentations. I just think it's much more likely to happen with another man because I naturally default to my physical/romantic predilection for men before ever getting very emotionally invested in people as individuals.