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    Who is the best person to come out to ?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Coming Out
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    • Y Offline
      yusufzhagaUS
      last edited by

      I first came out to a female close friend…Not sure why, but I find coming out to females easier. I did come out to several straight guy friends eventually, but yeah I started with a female close friend first.

      I don't know abt you but in my community, tolerance towards LGBT is still very low...So coming out to a family member is not an option to me since most of them won't accept it.

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      • S Offline
        sportsman021
        last edited by

        I think to your closest friend

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        • L Offline
          larynx
          last edited by

          Yourself.

          Then your hag.  :cheesy2:

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          • S Offline
            slimsf888
            last edited by

            There is no one answer - it depends on the person.  One person's mom might be totally cool, another might throw you out of the house.  Same with siblings, friends, etc.

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            • S Offline
              spam17
              last edited by

              @slimsf888:

              There is no one answer - it depends on the person.  One person's mom might be totally cool, another might throw you out of the house.  Same with siblings, friends, etc.

              I agree..

              ::)

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              • H Offline
                hugoritz
                last edited by

                I chose a cousin close enough to help boost my confidence if she accepted me, but not that close so it wouldn't break me if she didn't… then it was my best friend, then my sis (the person I'm closest to) and then my mom

                maybe my "method" is not the best option there but it worked for me. I think a close friend might be the safest choice for you.

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                • T Offline
                  tony666
                  last edited by

                  Best friend

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                  • A Offline
                    aadam101
                    last edited by

                    Does anyone know you are gay?  I actually think it's better to come out to someone you don't know very well at first.  It helps to get you used to that feeling.

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                    • O Offline
                      Ononoke
                      last edited by

                      I haven't done it so I can't exactly say who's best…
                      But from what several people have told me, coming out to females is usually much easier than straight males. The latter might lose respect to you far more easier.
                      Of course, in the end it all depends on the personalities of people. If you know she (or he, if you choose male) is NOT anti-LGBT or does not exhibit homophobic traits, then that might be the best person to do it first. Even better if she/he is an outspoken LGBT supporter.

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                      • Y Offline
                        YORCH32
                        last edited by

                        it should be someone who you trust very much, do it only if you are sure to tell

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                        • G Offline
                          geox
                          last edited by

                          .. came out to my best friend and he understood and accepted me .. Only the ones closes to me knows who I am.  :cool2:

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                          • B Offline
                            bare4bear
                            last edited by

                            While of course nobody can answer this for you, I can tell you about my situation.
                            I first came out to a friend who was bi that had moved away when we were talking on the phone. He said something about knowing he makes me uncomfortable and I told him that I myself had played with other guys.

                            Then in college I was taking adderall with a friend, and after being up all night talking, I came out to him. He was pretty cool about it, though we lost touch when I left that school.

                            When some guy was threatening me, I told my best friend. He was only upset that I didn't tell him earlier. (Difficult to do if somebody uses the term faggot a lot. Still my best friend to this day, years later).

                            When I was depressed after some relationship issues, I came out to my dad. I told him I would rather kill myself than be gay, but that I thought I was bi. He told me he loves me no matter what. I'm prettttyy damn gay ha.

                            Then I came out to my oldest brother, then my sisters, then finally my mom. I had a hard time trusting my mom with the "secret" because she is an alcoholic with the tendency to gossip or throw things in your face.

                            In the end, with my best friends and family are on my side, I felt comfortable admitting I'm gay.

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                            • P Offline
                              pittstop17
                              last edited by

                              Your parents.

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                              • F Offline
                                fightboycwb
                                last edited by

                                A close friend

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                                • A Offline
                                  Alexxx1
                                  last edited by

                                  Great question.
                                  I only came out as bi to my therapist. If you are currently visiting one, that'd be the best option.
                                  Telling someone who's very close could be good as well, as long as you know they wouldn't mind (or at least it wouldn't affect your relationship in a negative way).
                                  I'd put family in a 3rd degree, not for bad reasons, but, even though they are tolerant and stuff, after you tell them, things may change, so I guess you gotta be really cool with yourself to do this.

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                                  • DomosukeD Offline
                                    Domosuke
                                    last edited by

                                    This is a complex question, and the answer I'm afraid I can't give you as it's something you yourself have to do.

                                    Yeah reading other people's coming out stories is nice and wanting tips and such is also good, but at the end of the day, this is your life and your body.

                                    Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

                                    Just find a good support system and friends.

                                    If you are scared of how family might think, I also am in the firm belief that if you are a grown adult, you don't have to justify that stuff to your parents/family anyways.

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                                    • H Offline
                                      harry3500
                                      last edited by

                                      For me, it was easiest to come out to my closest friend because one of them was a Lesbian and she more than understood me.

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                                      • M Offline
                                        mohanaddsami
                                        last edited by

                                        thanks guys for all your stories, and suggestions,
                                        I came out to my best friend, he felt weird at first, but things are better now
                                        next step, my parents, wish me luck

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