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    Adopting last name?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Civil Unions & Marriage
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    • J Offline
      justmike
      last edited by

      Hmm personally in truth my partner and I have discussed this any we would just keep out own names but for the fact we plan to adopt too so we will have to go with one surname (its not like you can hyphenate our names).

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      • D Offline
        Duvet
        last edited by

        I do not like the idea changing your last name or getting your husbands last name, for both homosexual or heterosexual couples. I would consider changingmy last name only if it was weird or funny or if I felt I didn't like it. And as for kids, why not using both last names of the parents? 😉

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        • J Offline
          junior
          last edited by

          I hyphenated my last name adding his to the end.  Looking back I should have  made my last name my middle and just taken his last name.    I may seek a name change next summer.

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          • J Offline
            jake357
            last edited by

            I never really say hyphenating as an option, especially because my last name is already 8 letters long. Papers, forms, and signatures would just be exhausting. I have a friend who grew up with a hyphenated name and it never really worked out for them. Most of the time it ended up getting dropped or causing a lot of confusion.

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            • H Offline
              helloitsmesf
              last edited by

              definitely varies between couples. i personally wouldn't adopt my partner's last name just because im used to my own name HAHHA

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              • jkronfussJ Offline
                jkronfuss
                last edited by

                You can do that here but I would not.

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                • W Offline
                  wrestler4000
                  last edited by

                  Neither I

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                  • E Offline
                    Eridanos
                    last edited by

                    So…can we hyphenate our last names or not?

                    I honestly feel that this last name thing would degrade into very veiled power games...Which last name goes first (or which one is adopted by the other partner)? Are there maybe hidden meanings? (the first last name in the mix is from the 'dominant' partner?)

                    This idea is kinda weird to me because, in my country when heterosexual couples marry the female doesn't lose her family name.  Actually, the children have both their parents last names (father's+mother's, in that order) and the wife can choose to be called (in public, not officially) Mrs. Paternal last name + Maternal last name + of Husband's last name

                    Example: let's say a woman called Agatha Smith Souza marries a man with the last name Brown.

                    Her official name is still Agatha Smith Souza (remember that in Mexico we keep both our parents paternal last names) but for formal or status reasons people might call her Agatha Smith Souza de (of) Brown.

                    Actually the of + husband's last name seems the equivalent of this hyphenated name thing. 😮

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                    • G Offline
                      groningen89
                      last edited by

                      my husband doesn't have a last name.. so , impossible 😛

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                      • obras62O Offline
                        obras62
                        last edited by

                        I don't think it's necessary.
                        First we should stop trying to be mainstream, the use of the word marriage is so antiquated it doesn't fit int he Heterosexual world anymore.

                        We should be happy that we can form a civil union and have rights with our partners.

                        Changing a name doesn't change the situation, nor do I think it is important. What's important is that we are becoming "normal" no loner weird but acceptable.
                        Nothing else really matters

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                        • S Offline
                          slimsf888
                          last edited by

                          I think people should be free to adopt the name of their choosing, but to be honest it kinda rubs me the wrong way when a person (straight or gay) takes their spouse's last name.  It feels like they are giving up part of their identity.  I certainly did not choose to do that, particularly as I am the last person in my family with my surname, it would feel disrespectful to my heritage to give it up.

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                          • A Offline
                            aadam101
                            last edited by

                            I wouldn't change my last name.  My partner can do whatever he wants.

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                            • flashboyF Offline
                              flashboy
                              last edited by

                              I would probably add his name next to mine, if it isn't really uggly.  :cheesy2:

                              Great minds discuss ideas,
                              average minds discuss events,
                              small minds discuss other people…

                              Eleanor Roosevelt

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                              • S Offline
                                syuvan12
                                last edited by

                                I would be okay with adopting my husbands last time, but only if he wants to do the same.
                                The whole culture of the woman getting the man's last name after marriage is just kinda absurd to me. It makes it seem like the woman is like somehow lesser than the man.

                                But if the partners take each other's last names, then to me, it sort of signifies the unification of their families, you know? Same thing with hyphenated names.

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                                • DamaDamaD Offline
                                  DamaDama
                                  last edited by

                                  i am against marriage, homosexual, heterosexual, everything.So i would not even adopt any name and i would never marry.

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                                  • F Offline
                                    famousbovine
                                    last edited by

                                    I don't see the need to do it, so I probably won't (assuming that I would marry, and I don't see the need to either).

                                    "A witty saying proves nothing."

                                    • Voltaire
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                                    • L Offline
                                      LambLegs
                                      last edited by

                                      My husband took my last name when we got married. I told him that I would never change my last name, so he has to make sure he really wanted to change his name (I was okay with keeping separate names). It was a hassle for him to change his name, but he says it was worth it.

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                                      • S Offline
                                        semurg30
                                        last edited by

                                        I remember I had a college professor who took his wife's last name. I always looked at him as a spineless loser after that. I guess if you're in a gay couple it doesn't really matter. But a man taking his wife's name seemed really unmanly to me.

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                                        • R Offline
                                          revden
                                          last edited by

                                          My partner and I have been together for 30yrs. We only now have started talking marriage, I guess because we are older and don't want or need family drama in the event something happens to one of us.
                                          We have talked about name changes and we are trying to incorperate both because he is the last of his line and I'm a junior so we want to honor both names. We will figure it out. everyone needs to do what's rite for them.

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                                          • L Offline
                                            lf4317
                                            last edited by

                                            Adopting the last name is old fashioned and sexist, in our opinion.

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