Relationship Issue Help Needed: My partner and his so-called friend
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The sex is good with Lee, so yes there is a sex in the relationship. But I will have to agree it is time to move on and I am working on that..when you have no money ( I am on disability as well) it is hard to start over and that is where I feel stuck in this situation. Thank you for all your advice and I am open to more!
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Jazzmale, I have to agree with everyone else - but I don't think there is even a case for issuing an ultimatum to Lee. Set yourself up with somewhere to stay & then tell him you're off. With the multiple daily phonecalls going on between L & W, they are obviously extremely close. The bedroom thing also tells me you are not his number 1. Ultimatum to Lee will just cause resentment between you and the pair of them & possibly drive their relationship underground. You are always going to be suspicious of that.
Do yourself a favour & move on, it will be hard for a while but someday I'm sure you will find someone that deserves you & treats you as an equal, not a retained servant
All the best mate.. -
( I am on disability as well)
…and you spent $500 on groceries, of which "stupid", unemployed, William, who steals all your boyfriends attention, ATE HALF?!? :crazy2:
Oh yeah, I would be livid! BTW, thanks for sharing your very personal story. I'm sure it will help many who will no doubt come along finding themselves in a similar situation.
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I have had heaps of relationship problems. Imagine if your friend told you the same story, what would you tell yourself.
It is very hard to see through the murkiness when you are in the situation but try and take a step back, imagine it ffrom a 3rd person perspective and give that person advice.
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UPDATE: I had a conversation with Lee (the blind guy) today and the relationship has ended. I will be moving out as soon as I can find a place to live. I was an idiot and I guess you live, love and truly learn.
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UPDATE: I had a conversation with Lee (the blind guy) today and the relationship has ended. I will be moving out as soon as I can find a place to live. I was an idiot and I guess you live, love and truly learn.
That's a good attitude to have. We all make mistakes but what's important is that we pick ourselves up, learn, and move forward. Best of luck to you in the future, and thanks for sharing your story. Now move on and find someone worthy of being in a relationship with you.
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UPDATE: I had a conversation with Lee (the blind guy) today and the relationship has ended. I will be moving out as soon as I can find a place to live. I was an idiot and I guess you live, love and truly learn.
Sorry for your loss man, but honestly I think its just going to open you up for something much better - Best of luck!
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I wish you all the best, jazzmale. And, no, you weren't an idiot
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UPDATE: I had a conversation with Lee (the blind guy) today and the relationship has ended. I will be moving out as soon as I can find a place to live. I was an idiot and I guess you live, love and truly learn.
Good for you, but do you have friends who can temporarily let you stay with them, until you find a place of your own. The longer you stay in Lee's house, I think the more it is harder for you to moved out.
Best of Luck to you
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This is almost similar with the situation I am in…
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It sounds like the two of them are a bit co-dependent on each other. Lee probably wants to have someone around to help him with things given his disability. William sounds like he doesn't have his act together and probably relies on Lee to an extent.
If you and Lee are seriously a couple then the bedroom belongs to you two. William can have the other room. Case closed.
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And the rest of the story…...Lee went ballistic last night when he realized I would be leaving soon and the William is out of state and can't afford to come to his rescue. He pushed me, slammed doors and was very mean and ugly to me. After all I have done for him. The sad part of this whole situation is that I have no where to go and I guess I will try to put my things in storage and live on the streets until I can find somewhere to live. I truly appreciate all of your advice and well wishes. Thank you!
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The sad part of this whole situation is that I have no where to go and I guess I will try to put my things in storage and live on the streets until I can find somewhere to live.
Otherwise, you could expect the heartache, drama & abuse to be ongoing as long as you remain under the same roof as "Lee". You may want to consider going back to where you were 9 months ago when you met him online (…assuming that's not a bridge that's been burned). Nevertheless, not sure where you are in the world, but be sure and check in with your local social service agencies, as there's likely to be shelters/programs available for homeless (LGBTQ) people who receive disability, to help you get back on your feet. Good luck, stay strong.
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And the rest of the story…...Lee went ballistic last night when he realized I would be leaving soon and the William is out of state and can't afford to come to his rescue. He pushed me, slammed doors and was very mean and ugly to me. After all I have done for him. The sad part of this whole situation is that I have no where to go and I guess I will try to put my things in storage and live on the streets until I can find somewhere to live. I truly appreciate all of your advice and well wishes. Thank you!
I'm very sorry to hear this. Is there a local body you can go to regarding housing?
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I just truly wanted to thank all of you for your help and advice. i had no one to talk to about this problem and you all were very kind and gentle, warm-hearted and truly inspirational. I have posted before on another website gay forum and they were really nasty and unkind.
Again, I appreciate all of you and thank you from the bottom of my heart. -
and funny since the break-up William has not called at all….so what the fuck is up with that? Since everyone was so helpful with your advice...now help me find a good decent man! I am in TX...LOL! Love you guys!
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How did you go? It would be nice if you can tell us what you decided to do as well.
Hope all went well regardless
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Since everyone was so helpful with your advice…now help me find a good decent man!
Maybe some well-intentioned, unsuspecting (if not naive), thoughtful member of these forums, with more time & money than good sense, would be willing to allow a kind-hearted, helpful & loving individual like yourself stay with them indefinitely until you're ready to make your next moves.
:blind:
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Well it all came to a head last night. I found out I was truly being used and abused. 2 days after the breakup Lee started looking for my replacement, which told me all I needed to know. Who the fuck breaks up (if you are truly in love)and starts looking for another partner immediately? He came out of his room last night and said that this gay lifestyle was just all about sex and everyone he talked too today just wanted to hook up and was not interested in being a partner. Remember he is blind so he is using his cell phone and all the damn hookup apps to try to find another partner (victim). When he told me he was upset because he could not find anyone it was clear to me I meant nothing to him and I said that I could not believe that after 2 days he was already looking for someone to take my place. I told him I could see how much I meant to him and I felt he really never loved me. He became irate, assualted me and told me to get the hell out of his apartment. So at 2AM in the morning I went to a hotel. I am still in the Hotel. I am moving back into my old home that has sat vacant and for sale for the last 9 months. Being on disability here it has been hard for me, I am getting the electricity turned back on on Nov 1. This is my last night in the hotel since I can't really afford it. He has been very mean to me. If you knew what all I did for this man to be treated this way. Let's just put it this way, I have learned a major life lesson (a little late for a 54 year old). Again, Thanks for all your advice and concern. Hugs to all of you.
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Who the fuck breaks up (if you are truly in love)and starts looking for another partner immediately?
Uh, YOU? :blink:
Since everyone was so helpful with your advice…now help me find a good decent man! I am in TX.
:true:
I am moving back into my old home that has sat vacant and for sale for the last 9 months… I am getting the electricity turned back on on Nov 1.
Wow, that is remarkable! Really amazing that you can just take your house off the market and move right back in like that after 9 months, almost like none of this ever happened. That is all so fortunate, and convenient! And to think, just a couple of days ago, you were saying you were going to go live on the streets!
The sad part of this whole situation is that I have no where to go and I guess I will try to put my things in storage and live on the streets until I can find somewhere to live.
What an interesting story. Thanks for sharing, all the best!
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