Is three a crowd or can a relationship between three people work?
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Religion was used because of the historical evidence, not that any religion is right. Besides, I'm an atheist so I hate all religions.
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I left the other place at the request of a moderator, who felt I was too opinionated.
We like opinions here.
Glad to hear it. ;D
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Yet another dig at me, should I be surprised?!
There is a huge difference between expressing opinions and your posts in this thread.
I'll repeat, either post something constructive in this thread or leave this thread. The choice is yours.
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You have stated that open relations dont work, and yet you have failed to prove how they dont work, you have failed to prove why they dont work, and finally ― and most importantly ― you have failed to prove what it is about open relationships that is wrong.
As someone who has never been in an open relationship, nor ever plans to be in one, I fail to see what it is that you can bring to the table in any discussion about open relationships, other than your admonition that "I don't go out with whores," as well as your belief, not expounded upon, that these relationships are wrong ― viewpoints that in the light of day are hardly helpful or nor insightful.
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You have stated that open relations dont work, and yet you have failed to prove how they dont work, you have failed to prove why they dont work, and finally ― and most importantly ― you have failed to prove what it is about open relationships that is wrong.
As someone who has never been in an open relationship, nor ever plans to be in one, I fail to see what it is that you can bring to the table in any discussion about open relationships, other than your admonition that "I don't go out with whores," as well as your belief, not expounded upon, that these relationships are wrong ― viewpoints that in the light of day are hardly helpful or nor insightful.
Stop being so ignorant, raphjd stated a very liable reason - people are simply too envious to be fully commited in a three-way relationship, they're simply not built to work.
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@ Spintendo
Your attitude from your very fist post in this thread has set the tone of my responses. You attacked anyone who liked monogamy by calling them possessive and controlling among other things.
I also noticed that you needed to eliminate any relationship that wasn't good, to prop up your idealistic views of open relationships. If you are willing to take the "good" ones, then you must also take the bad ones.
As someone who has never been in an open relationship, nor ever plans to be in one, I fail to see what it is that you can bring to the table in any discussion about open relationships,
I don't see what you have to bring to the table when I busted your rubbish and you need to lie about what I've said.
well as your belief, not expounded upon, that these relationships are wrong
This is not the first time you lied about what I said.
I never said they were "wrong", other than many times one party is forced into it. I explained this several times. Just because you don't like my answers does not mean you can lie about what I said.
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You are treading very close to getting banned. Any more attacks on me and you will be banned. This is your 3rd and final warning.
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Hey guys,
I guess it could work, I know a group of 3 guys in a relationship and living together here in Taiwan, and they are very happy. It's quite rare because jealousy is a natural instinct, not to mention it's even more complicated to gays because apparently sexual domination and seed spreading instincts are also present in our subconscious.
I know for a fact that they started with just 2, then they grow too close for too long (ppl here call it "becoming a family member"), so they started looking for a third. I'm sure one of them came up with the idea first, normally this would probably cause chaos in a relationship, but the other guy was so nice and laid back, so he probably just accepted it.
eventually they found the 3rd guy which both of them like and got together. the 3rd guy was more fond of the 1st guy at first if i didn't remember wrong, but the super nice laid back guy are being very supportive and now they're all "equal" in the relationship.
however, i think before anyone look into 3 guys relationship.. you must first understand open relationship. because a good open relationship is build on trust and communication. without that, it would just fail. these 3 guys invites others to have safe-fun together as well.
this is one of the good example. there is another group i know of here. but it was quite nasty. basically it was 2 older guys and a young dude who was in love with one of them. lots of lying and stuff there.. but eventually the young dude broke off, knowing he got screwed big time.
I'm not sure what's gay life outside of taiwan like, but apparently it's a way of life that people cheats here. sex comes too easy here and we came up with a rule of 'don't ask don't tell' to maintain a relationship.. which is why most relationships don't last here, cos lies doesn't last.
to me, anything is possible, as long as you're honest and care for one another. trust is important in any form of relationship.
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hXXp://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-shore/polyamory_b_1296757.html?ref=mostpopular
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ballard1: I was mad for him - shoulder length brown hair, big brown eyes, a surfer's body, great chest, legs, arms, beautiful smile, a quiet kind of guy. I wanted to go to bed with all that at least once and now it is every night. I finally broke down and confessed my feelings and he panicked. We didn't speak for three days and it was killing me then he quietly knocked at the door. "You gotta show me what to do…"
Just ran into this old topic, but felt a need to say thanks for it. I had not heard of the documentary, which I will investigate, but thought there was generally good sense and illumination until someone got carried away. There is no single rule for human behavior and what works for one does not necessarily work for another. The quoted incident is one of the most sweetly romantic stories I've ever heard, and I'm grateful for that sharing and insight.
The only polyamorous couple I know involved a male and female who were mock married and were shocked to discover it felt exactly like the real thing, at least in terms of its effect upon them. Later, another man joined in and they became a triple. Far as I know, the men are not interested in each other physically and I believe don't much frolic as a group, but are not so possessive as to deny the other two their happiness and pleasures. That certainly is not a standard arrangement, but it works for them.
There is a brilliant movie, El Diputado, by Spanish director Eloy de la Iglesia, very much a product of the cultural explosion that took place after Franco finally died and stayed dead. The man is a leading left member of parliament, is married to a beautiful woman, and falls in love with an attractive young man. The wife accepts that and they become some sort of marital unit, symbolized by a splendid three-way kiss that is tender and beautiful. While their hearts are true, they are still subject to turmoil and treachery around them, however.
It seems to me that male couples often do advertise for other partners, sometimes insisting that their partner is fully informed, sometimes requiring that both partners participate in any third-party contact. Could be entirely natural for someone to slip into a more privileged position than the passing trick to the point where bonds may, unexpectedly, be discovered, as life and possibilities unfold and to the extent circumstances and preconceptions allow.
Students at the college level, and well below that age as well, often do hang out in gangs or packs or cliques as a function of long-term consanguinity, shared academic, sports, cultural issues, and so on. Birds of a feather flock together, etc. When there are shared and compatible sexual interests as well (among gay men, for instance), close friends spending lots of time together could, at least in theory, develop beyond casual friendship, and at this point, is it really true that it is more difficult for three men or women to associate romantically than it was for a same-sex couple to find each other and make it work in the face of a violently hostile society that still has not accepted that the world is changing around them– partly because they are forced to see things they previously could ignore. Campus radicals often treated women as the cooks and scut workers. Other races are often invisible, hence in the US an astonishing level of shock and debate about "white privilege," apparently as invisible to some as it is a central and dominating fact of life for others, who in a supposedly great democracy cannot even reliably expect the right to vote. And so on.
Yes, the world shifts around us and demography is busy speeding things up as well, but partly what is happening is that we are being forced to notice stuff that not everyone likes. Equal pay for equal work. Or that women may do better in school than men of the same age. These can be catastrophic rattlings of a lifetime's foundation. And check out the Olds when it comes to technology and the way it is the wired young who are in constant digital contact with each other, but often not the person having coffee with them in person.
In any case, the impediments to gay couples that once existed are evaporating, and legalize marriage and adoption, gays and transsexuals in the military, are having a normalizing effect the pioneers of the Mattachine Society would have found literally inconceivable. To have childhood chums stay linked as three rather than pair off doesn't sound like such a radical thing for those who are so inclined.
Personally, because I found the love story that started this thread, so reassuring, so sweet, such a hopeful sign of possibilities and the power of love, that I hope no casual interest in alternatives gets in the way of deeply protecting and treasuring what already exists.
Perhaps I'm inclined to think about the matter also because I just saw a movie, available as a torrent here, called eCupid, where one of two partners signs up for a sort of dating ap to find the perfect lover-- free and guaranteed. After much comic incident and heavy misunderstandings, it turns out they already were the perfect couple and just did not realize it until it was almost too late. Fun movie.
And, so, for the most part, has been this thread for me to read through-- interesting, moving, intelligent, educational. Thanks to all.
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I just cant see how you wouldnt end up prefering one over the other and/or wondering if the other 2 were more into each other.
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