Attraction to feminine men – why all the hate?

kawaitwink

I haven't yet joined dating apps so I'm not really aware of general preferences but I haven't really noticed hate for feminine man. I don't think it's hate. More like they are not interested in them. I personally like feminine men. If nobody likes feminine men it just means there are more for us ;D so be happy.

MrMazda

@kawaitwink:

I haven't yet joined dating apps so I'm not really aware of general preferences but I haven't really noticed hate for feminine man. I don't think it's hate. More like they are not interested in them. I personally like feminine men. If nobody likes feminine men it just means there are more for us ;D so be happy.

I couldn't agree more. With me, it's not that I have a "hate" for feminine men, it's just that sexually, I do not have an attraction to them, with very few exceptions.

hhsq

There are 2 completely diferent things on this regard. The first one is not liking feminine guys sexyally. And that's completely ok. The second one is being a complete bigoted homophobe about it. And unfortunately, many gay guys do the latter…
It has everything to do with yout attitude. You can simply say: I prefer masculine guys, and respect feminine guys or simply say nothing about this subject. And you can be the douchebag that uses aggressive and negative language when you express your preference (eg.: "no fems", "no fats", "fem guys gtfo", etc). People can perfectly show their preferences without insulting the ones that are different from what they like. It's just a matter of using positive language insted of negative.

hhsq

Besides, someone said "You can even be a flamboyant queen, for all I care, as long as you're also masculine", and that's bullshit. There's no "as long as". Being masculine is not mandatory for anyone. That sentence is sheer prejudice. It is very sad and revolting that some gay people choose to discriminate each other. Don't society already do enough judgement with us?! Shouldn't we know better?

vato

I think it's a matter of personal preference. I personally am attracted to males and masculinity and as much as social justice warriors will try to tell me otherwise, there's nothing wrong with being turned off by feminine features.

Jerkyboy

Just my 2 cents… I personally don't think fem guys are attractive, but I get really turned on about the guys that do like them!

groovedware

Me personally I like to cast my net wide and prefer to remain open to all the possibilities. Or as I put it (usually in the form of a song) "I like them big, I like them small, I like them short, I like them tall" the only prerequisite I have in place is that they have a cock.

Sure we all have preferences, I like big guys to be tops but then I also like throwing it into a mountain by the same token I like smaller guys as fuck puppets but having a guy I could easily overpower making me his bitch is equally hot. Truth be told, no matter how skinny they are my little kink can be imagining them shedding a few more pounds, if I am being honest I have tried to entice skinny ones into my lair with the promise of food knowing full well my evil plan is to feed them the once and then never again.

But wait, I came to present my theory:

This hate for feminine men usually couched in the "I prefer masculine" is really a touch of the homophobia. Oh and that "straight-acting" tripe…oh you act straight do you? Well, while you practice your muff diving face in the mirror I think I'll let queenie finger my ass a bit. It's been my experience that some of them there feminine boys can also be unforgiving nasty tops.

myrea

… well this is like sitting in a cactus dildo... why? Because it's subconscious brain farting and social psychology, all about accepting who you are, there are several cases...

1- the "masculinity concept" rough voice, hard edges, hairy, smelly, muscled and short haired... understand that, that is a mere social ideal, that does not define the average male at all, so the majority of male does not respect the idealized form... some will love that social construct because it's a social ideal and they need validation from peers even at subconscious level, even more if you are from an oppressed minority or your own masculinity is always put in evaluation, it's over compensating in several cases.

2- the elusive straight affinity, oh I can pass as hetero means I'm less gay... again someone still struggling to find that noone is superior to anyone, it's sad that this case still happens so often.

3- the "i can not ever bottom for someone less manly than me" manly is not a measure exactly, a man is a man (the masculine ideal just that an abstract concept), this falls into 1 a lot, your whole fantasy is influenced by this subconscious layer of doubts and so forward...

I do not preach everyone to like, be atracted and love everyone, but please find out exactly why it's that, sometimes you are blocking and selecting for reasons that will start looking shallow and more shallow as the years pass by.

The op well you said why you are atracted to them, however did you ever find that several times they got your back? That many times you do not notice but this "girly" guys actually protect and nurture you just as much?

We have a guy to guy relation a homo one, why do we allways need to be judging the level of girlyness, when it's not part of our equation to start with? This female fear also comes from the fact that female are seen as inferior in society, discard that, or look in female open societies and see exactly how this entire comparison falls apart.

chatnoire

Well as a few has pointed out, the main reason (as appalling as it is for some other people) is because we are attracted to the masculinity of other men. Feminine men are generally more loving, more sensitive, yes more fashionably superior and well-groomed but all those are feminine traits. I don't want to sound as if those are bad quality in a man, but feminine men tends to have all of those qualities at too much concentration, it starts to resemble a woman.

I consider myself as a 100% (well maybe 90%) gay, and I personally despite everything feminine. I am not extremely masculine either, I am short and not too bulky but I straight act (as in I don't sway every now and then, if you know what I mean).

groovedware

@chatnoire:

… but I straight act (as in I don't sway every now and then, if you know what I mean).

I don't know what you mean but then again I am proudly a gay being! Also in bed, naked where I am most gay & it is the moist important I take it up the ass like a man as well as stuff it into my partner's ass like he is a man (unless we are role playing but even then it's usually man to man).

Tell me more about this "acting" straight. Wouldn't you be more comfortable just being your self? I know I am.

Next time your at the Statue of Liberty pull the fire alarm and watch how she lights up. It's like I always mince at the stupid breeders who yell "Fag" as they drive by my friends and me, I do, first I spit, then I mince out a "Was it my lisp that gave me away?" Then, whenever we get where we going the first thing we do is hand out awards for the best actors but girl with those hips ain't no one buying that act, uh huh.