'No Fats or Fems'

Munyuc

It's funny how I often hear people complain about others that say "not fats or fems" but when you ask them how they feel about older guys they have no issue saying they aren't the least bit interested. It's a double standard and basically saying "I should be accepted but only by those who I am willing to accept".

Same goes if someone says they like only Hung men, someone will quickly say "Size Queen", but nobody will criticize you if you say you only like round butts.

Couldn't have said it better. Honestly, i've always been straight (am kinda Bi now haha) and I prefer women still - but it's true that people are blinded by their own opinions so much that they can't understand the irony of what they've said. It's a little ridiculous. Everyone is entitled to their own preferences but saying (no femmes etc) and still believing your opinion of (i like hung men only) isn't a double standard - is beyond absurd.

raphjd

HMM, I got negative rep for my previous comment.

To the people that gave me negative rep, do you download every video here or do you choose which ones you want? Answer carefully.

I'm sorry, but I would commit suicide if I had to live with Nathan Lane's character in The Birdcage.

Also, why should I be forced to commit myself to someone I don't find attractive? Or I find their morals disgusting? Or whatever?

LEVI

It is on any site that men use. The guys are just trying to say what are their interests and likes and what turns them off. One day people might grow up and accept others for who they are and not what they look like.

Have a friend on A4A that contacted someone and just said that he enjoyed the others profile. The guy responded back that that he should not have contacted him because my friend is black and the guy was white. That kind of attitude has no place in the world

LEVI

@raphjd:

Everyone has their "type" and there is nothing wrong with it.

Nothing wrong with it at all. It just depends on how a person goes about defining what he likes or doesn't like that is wrong. Just like the guys that only go off the photos and don't read the profile

nordicblue

If you are not attracted to another race, that does not make you racist. In fact the amount of interracial marriages is extremely according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
According to this table no one really likes marrying outside of their race that much.

| | White Wife | Black Wife | Asian Wife | Other Wife |
| White Husband | 50,410,000 | 168,000 | 529,000 | 487,000 |
| Black Husband | 390,000 | 4,072,000 | 39,000 | 66,000 |
| Asian Husband | 219,000 | 9,000 | 2,855,000 | 28,000 |
| Other Husband | 488,000 | 18,000 | 37,000 | 268,000 |

phillo

Oh there's definitely a dismissive, hateful undertone to the wording of many profiles I read. I tend to be into guys 25-45 and my various profiles state that and I don't need to put "ABSOLUTELY NOT INTO GUYS OVER 50" though I get messages from older men a lot. I'm wondering if the nastiness of certain profiles reflects a more widespread degradation in our basic cultural civility? Are the people who put "no fats/no fems" in their profile the same people who will cut you off in traffic, talk on a cell phone while at a register and fail to hold open a door?

YORCH32

It's all about personal tastes, but it doesnt justifies the use of offensie terms.

nordicblue

@phillo:

Oh there's definitely a dismissive, hateful undertone to the wording of many profiles I read. I tend to be into guys 25-45 and my various profiles state that and I don't need to put "ABSOLUTELY NOT INTO GUYS OVER 50" though I get messages from older men a lot. I'm wondering if the nastiness of certain profiles reflects a more widespread degradation in our basic cultural civility? Are the people who put "no fats/no fems" in their profile the same people who will cut you off in traffic, talk on a cell phone while at a register and fail to hold open a door?

That's definitely a non-sequitur there. There is nothing wrong with not liking fat people or effeminate men. In addition to that, we went from not liking fat or effeminate people to saying they cut you off as if only masculine gay guys don't hold the door open. There are plenty of raging queens who are judgemental and will behave uncivilized. I prefer someone who says what they feel instead of hiding behind a veil of political correctness.

phillo

@nordicblue:

@phillo:

Oh there's definitely a dismissive, hateful undertone to the wording of many profiles I read. I tend to be into guys 25-45 and my various profiles state that and I don't need to put "ABSOLUTELY NOT INTO GUYS OVER 50" though I get messages from older men a lot. I'm wondering if the nastiness of certain profiles reflects a more widespread degradation in our basic cultural civility? Are the people who put "no fats/no fems" in their profile the same people who will cut you off in traffic, talk on a cell phone while at a register and fail to hold open a door?

That's definitely a non-sequitur there. There is nothing wrong with not liking fat people or effeminate men. In addition to that, we went from not liking fat or effeminate people to saying they cut you off as if only masculine gay guys don't hold the door open. There are plenty of raging queens who are judgemental and will behave uncivilized. I prefer someone who says what they feel instead of hiding behind a veil of political correctness.

I never said there was anything wrong with preferring in shape and masculine men. I'm not sure what's illogical about assuming a profile written like this - "NO FAT guys, OLD guys, or FEMS. DON'T BOTHER" - belongs to kind of an asshole. I didn't do a study or have research to back it up but it's not crazy talk. It's very clear and easy to understand a profile worded like this - "If interested please be skinny to muscular, under 35 and masculine" - do you see the difference?

Also, I wasn't insulting masculine men I was suggesting that the type of people (masc, fem, white, black, fat, skinny) who write negative profiles might just generally be assholes.

chatnoire

Well, it comes back to the individual's type/preference. It's just I prefer to not use such negative language to express my preference. I would just say "same race/faith is preferred".

And I still get tons of messages from those who I said weren't my type. But I can ignore them. Some people maybe are just too exhausted getting too much messages because they are too hot for society's standard. LOL.

smoothiecub

I have that problem sometimes. When I do have it. I just stop using it for a while. It worked again after that. Hope that help…

nordicblue

:rotfl:

moonmonday

It's fine to have your own preferences.

It's not fine to be an asshole about them.

End of story.

Though honestly grindr is pretty much a leaky trashbag, so if you're looking there and expecting anyone much, you're setting yourself up for disappointment from the get-go.

Aleedinver

I don't know how to answer to this thread… I'm very picky so, I'm probably the first who will write "not interested in XXX", but Grindr as many other sites is not used at the same way by all people... for example these "assholes" maybe see Grindr only as a way to have some sexual encounter. Maybe they are wrong, but it's clear that their aim is not chatting... so why bother to chat with them?
If some trans ask me to meet me or start sex-talking with me (not talking about trans rights or similar, but actual sex-talking, ok?) and I wrote I'm not interested, this is annoying.

Different is "black people/trans/fat/etc... keep away"... this is rather racist, because you are saying you don't want even that they look at your photos or profile and this is very rude... but maybe they don't even understand what they wrote... written language lacks the depth of spoken language and we often write things without thinking on them very much...

deflorare

@bluehue:

I find it's easier, more polite, and ultimately more effective to just use positive language.

No fat or fems = Preference given to fit, healthy, and manly.

I personally avoid the people who use excessive negative exclusionary language.

But hey, I'm single. What do I know about meeting nice guys… $:-\$

bibob

I don't know why people get so worked up over this.

Those on Grindr are well known to be the nastiest Queens around to be avoided.

For bears, we have Scruff and Growlr.
For oldies, we have DaddyHunt and Mr. X.
For Asians, we have 9Monsters and Jack'd.
I qualify for all of the above :mob:

So who cares about those nasty Queens of Grindr?
If sex is what you are looking for, you get more than enough to keep your bum toasty for the whole week. :anal2: