Classic Jewish Jokes:
Two men, a Jew and a Protestant, were marooned on a desert island. The Protestant immediately got to work, dragging rocks to spell out “SOS” in huge letters on the beach, gathering driftwood to build a bonfire, and thinking about ways to build a boat.
The Jew, however, merely sat on the beach and waited.
“What’s the matter with you?” the Protestant exclaimed. “Don’t you want to be rescued?”
The Jew said calmly, “Look, last year, I donated a million dollars to the Jewish Federation. The year before, I donated a million dollars to them. This year, wherever I am, they’ll find me!”
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A woman called the switchboard of a hospital and asked how Mrs. Schwartz in room 102 was doing. The switchboard operator put her on hold for a minute, then came back and reported: “Mrs. Schwartz in room 102 is doing very well! Why, just this morning her lab work came back and everything is normal. Her doctor is pleased and says she will be able to go home next week.”
“Hurray!” shouted the caller.
“You must be a relative to be so happy,” observed the switchboard operator.
“No,” explained the caller, “I’m Mrs. Schwartz in room 102. Nobody tells me anything!
A woman in Poland had a horrible name; Sadie Nafkawicz. (Child of a prostitute.)
Finally she had enough of the disrespect and moved to New York City.
Years later the rabbi from the same small town had also immigrated and met her on the street.
The rabbi exclaimed, "Sadie Nafkawicz! Is that you?!"
Sadie said, "Rebbe, this is America. I've anglicized my name, call me Sadie Horowitz."
