The word Queer

raphjd

Most of my early exposure to the word queer is in victorian literature. Soooo, no male-on-male connotations for me.

Damned you're old.

I'd give you a hug, but I'm afraid you'd break a hip.

Domosuke

Queer is one of those words, likewise with homosexual, I seem accusomted to, and comfortable using. Especially when I don't know any other proper words to use.

For example with homosexual, "I was looking up homosexual history on the internet."

I can use gay yes, but that's more friendly and social and not educational or formal.

"I was looking up gay history on the internet."

To me I don't see them as bad words.

Same with the word queer.

"I am a queer man, looking to talk to other queer men."

As queer is more umbrella to use. As the man could be gay, transgender, bisexual etc. and it's just simpler that way.

I could say LGBT aside from that, but that's not only confusing, but also puzzling. As men are not lesbian.

"I am an LGBT man, looking to talk to other LGBT men."

However, if someone does not want me using those words in their company, (as I understand that to some people they are bad words) I will refrain from doing so.

That's my take.

nancledra53

Nice of you to say that in Private conversations you'd refrain from using the word. However when you read it in magazines and newspapers, hear it on the radio and on TV and in film, the offence taken by many is not assuaged. If fact because of the lack of self censorship, the offence is compounded.

As to LGBT, I'd separate L and G from the Band T. I have no problem with my lesbian sisters being associated with me as a gay man. It is basically two people of the same sex wanting to be recognised as such.

csrdan

eh… Queer means like "Weird/Strange/Odd/Abnormal"

in my mind, when i hear queer, it conjures images of the rarer snowflake types: queens/trans/flamboyance etc... like... "not gender-typical"

queers can be straight, gay, bi or anywhere inbetween. but i know that's not really how the word is used... but this is the image it conjures.

also, etymologically, queer is kinda negative. "Gay" on the other hand just meant happy/frolicking. You can tell this from norwegian, whose word for "fun" is... Gøy...

i mean, i will let my friends get away with referring to me as "that dirty faggot" tongue in cheek, cause i know theyre taking the piss; but i would never accept that shit off a randomer.

having said that: considering almost everyone (except those with A+ gaydar) are super surprised to learn that i'm a full on homo… i'd say i'm anything BUT queer.

still... i think the whole LGBTQIWTFBBQ+ is getting a bit "overinclusive", that is... a group stops being meaningful when you can no longer relate to it's members... i honestly cannot relate to the life, struggles and pleasures or even the basic mindset of trans people. i really can't. i sympathise, but will never understand or relate.

literally all the LGBT+++++ have in common is "nonstraightness" and a history of repression by a prudish societal culture. that is all. it's not really a good basis to bond on anymore... there's not even really anything to unify against as a common cause. (and no, "the patriarchy" is not the answer)

Dene

Queer, in my mind, has evolved.. from a negative thing to a more softer word… in my lifetime it has evolved from originally meaning a word that should somehow hurt me if they called me that (similar to what previous posters have said where Queer meant weird etc) - to now more like just "different" or not what others consider the stereotypical "normal" sexuality

Grotomode

Different people have different reaction to words. It sounds pretty obvious to me.
You can take your gut reaction (or anyone else's) and place it within a political movement frame but that is misleading, cause then the conversation boils down to petty name-calling about leftists, right-wingers and so on. Stupid bickering that is.

You can also elaborate an entire linguistic theory from it all, describing a language in black and white terms like "sexist" or "homophobic" and the inherent need to appropriate words in order to shift the meaning.
That endeavor is not impossible but it wont appeal to everyone (the OP for instance doesnt want to use the word queer in a positive, self-describing way). Also an obvious thing to expect, but it should also be obvious that your mindset and your gut reaction doesnt have to be shared by everyone. And also that this doesnt mean that everyone else differs from you in any fundamental way. This is just one small part of the movement for acceptance of people of differing sexual and gender identities than the perceived norm.

Personally I will occasionally feel like flaunting my sexual identity by saying stuff like "Yeah I'm a faggot, got a problem?". I wont go as far as using the word every day describing myself in order to appropriate it (I dont care about words that much personally), but the principle is the same I think. You dont have to follow along and you cant expect that all achievements will be of your mindset and consequently that they wont hit an emotional string of yours.

nancledra53

As the OP I want to come back on this: especially as I had to my horror another "interpretation" of the "Q" word.

Basically The Q word is not one I can associate with pride. pure and simple. To me it's exactly the same as the N word for blacks (or whatever the correct term I'm supposed to use these days) Q is a word of abuse. Full Stop.

The new "interpretation" supposedly is "Questioning". To which I say that also has nothing to do with me as a Gay Male. I just wish we could get back to the simple L&G. My Lesbian and Gay Brothers and Sisters, I'm give my right arm for. The B's T's, and the others have nothing in common with me by way of sexual identity. Let them have their own groups. My Lesbian and Gay brothers and Sisters have still plenty to fight for. I'm sticking to them.

Grotomode

I dont see why you have to so adamantly separate yourself from the rest.
Do you lose something by that grouping?

dwtour12

star:)

raphjd

Just so everyone knows, one of my stalkers, WAFFLEZ, is the one who's following me around downvoting and "angry facing my posts regardless of content.