Relationship Issue Help Needed: My partner and his so-called friend
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It sounds like the two of them are a bit co-dependent on each other. Lee probably wants to have someone around to help him with things given his disability. William sounds like he doesn't have his act together and probably relies on Lee to an extent.
If you and Lee are seriously a couple then the bedroom belongs to you two. William can have the other room. Case closed.
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And the rest of the story…...Lee went ballistic last night when he realized I would be leaving soon and the William is out of state and can't afford to come to his rescue. He pushed me, slammed doors and was very mean and ugly to me. After all I have done for him. The sad part of this whole situation is that I have no where to go and I guess I will try to put my things in storage and live on the streets until I can find somewhere to live. I truly appreciate all of your advice and well wishes. Thank you!
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The sad part of this whole situation is that I have no where to go and I guess I will try to put my things in storage and live on the streets until I can find somewhere to live.
Otherwise, you could expect the heartache, drama & abuse to be ongoing as long as you remain under the same roof as "Lee". You may want to consider going back to where you were 9 months ago when you met him online (…assuming that's not a bridge that's been burned). Nevertheless, not sure where you are in the world, but be sure and check in with your local social service agencies, as there's likely to be shelters/programs available for homeless (LGBTQ) people who receive disability, to help you get back on your feet. Good luck, stay strong.
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And the rest of the story…...Lee went ballistic last night when he realized I would be leaving soon and the William is out of state and can't afford to come to his rescue. He pushed me, slammed doors and was very mean and ugly to me. After all I have done for him. The sad part of this whole situation is that I have no where to go and I guess I will try to put my things in storage and live on the streets until I can find somewhere to live. I truly appreciate all of your advice and well wishes. Thank you!
I'm very sorry to hear this. Is there a local body you can go to regarding housing?
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I just truly wanted to thank all of you for your help and advice. i had no one to talk to about this problem and you all were very kind and gentle, warm-hearted and truly inspirational. I have posted before on another website gay forum and they were really nasty and unkind.
Again, I appreciate all of you and thank you from the bottom of my heart. -
and funny since the break-up William has not called at all….so what the fuck is up with that? Since everyone was so helpful with your advice...now help me find a good decent man! I am in TX...LOL! Love you guys!
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How did you go? It would be nice if you can tell us what you decided to do as well.
Hope all went well regardless
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Since everyone was so helpful with your advice…now help me find a good decent man!
Maybe some well-intentioned, unsuspecting (if not naive), thoughtful member of these forums, with more time & money than good sense, would be willing to allow a kind-hearted, helpful & loving individual like yourself stay with them indefinitely until you're ready to make your next moves.
:blind:
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Well it all came to a head last night. I found out I was truly being used and abused. 2 days after the breakup Lee started looking for my replacement, which told me all I needed to know. Who the fuck breaks up (if you are truly in love)and starts looking for another partner immediately? He came out of his room last night and said that this gay lifestyle was just all about sex and everyone he talked too today just wanted to hook up and was not interested in being a partner. Remember he is blind so he is using his cell phone and all the damn hookup apps to try to find another partner (victim). When he told me he was upset because he could not find anyone it was clear to me I meant nothing to him and I said that I could not believe that after 2 days he was already looking for someone to take my place. I told him I could see how much I meant to him and I felt he really never loved me. He became irate, assualted me and told me to get the hell out of his apartment. So at 2AM in the morning I went to a hotel. I am still in the Hotel. I am moving back into my old home that has sat vacant and for sale for the last 9 months. Being on disability here it has been hard for me, I am getting the electricity turned back on on Nov 1. This is my last night in the hotel since I can't really afford it. He has been very mean to me. If you knew what all I did for this man to be treated this way. Let's just put it this way, I have learned a major life lesson (a little late for a 54 year old). Again, Thanks for all your advice and concern. Hugs to all of you.
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Who the fuck breaks up (if you are truly in love)and starts looking for another partner immediately?
Uh, YOU? :blink:
Since everyone was so helpful with your advice…now help me find a good decent man! I am in TX.
:true:
I am moving back into my old home that has sat vacant and for sale for the last 9 months… I am getting the electricity turned back on on Nov 1.
Wow, that is remarkable! Really amazing that you can just take your house off the market and move right back in like that after 9 months, almost like none of this ever happened. That is all so fortunate, and convenient! And to think, just a couple of days ago, you were saying you were going to go live on the streets!
The sad part of this whole situation is that I have no where to go and I guess I will try to put my things in storage and live on the streets until I can find somewhere to live.
What an interesting story. Thanks for sharing, all the best!
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Then, just one last observation: At 54 years old, you meet a guy online who happens to be blind that you help move into a place in your town, I guess because you're resourceful like that. You decide you are compatible and so you sell your house (put your house "on the market" - instead of just having him move in with you, I guess) to go move in with this guy (that you've known for several weeks at this point) and sleep in a room down the hall while his best friend of 8 years, who is a "stupid idiot freak", sleeps on the floor of your boyfriends bedroom? AND THEN DRAMA ENSUES?!? 4REALZ?!?
:crazy2:
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Okay guys, lets play nice. #1, I was teasing about finding a boyfriend…did you not see the LOL? :cheesy2: #2, Yes this was all real and is still ongoing today! #3, I put my house on the market after we were together for 3 months and I had a buyer but it fell through. The house will remain for sale, I am have decided instead of living on the streets I would move back there until it sold. So please understand that you have not walked a mile in my shoes before casting judgement.
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Why didn't he move in with me? because he was moving from Dallas to Austin and when we met he already had found an apartment and signed a lease and could not get out of the lease. So we decided it would be more financially easier for me to move in with him since he was on section 8 housing and his rent was $14.00 a month. Instead of running 2 households and paying double bills at 2 places. I have not shared all the details about the relationship as it would have been too lengthy of a post.
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So he is meant to be blind and he was using a cell phone and apps to find someone new?
He obviously isn't as blind as he was letting on.
And 14$ a month for rent bloody hell im upping sticks and moving to America, here the rent is like 300$ for a shoebox size apartment after you have taken into the housing social security for disabled/unemployed people.
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Lee (the blind guy) was born with one bad eye and at the age of 10 his other eye started going bad and his retina was detached. So he is totally blind. Yes, he can use a cell phone, it is a special cell phone that he commands using voice and double tapping the screen with his finger. He tells the phone what to do and it does it. He has all kinds of apps on his phone like Pandora, etc.
Here in Texas we have a government agency called HUD (Housing Urban Development Association) that subsidizes disabled people and helps them pay rent for low-income individuals, so yes his rent is actually $1080 a month but he only pays $14 out of that. Trust me there is a long waiting list to get on this program here in the Texas.
Still staying in a hotel, today I have to go over there and pack up my things. I hope he doesn't try to start any shit or try to assault me again because I have decided that if he lays a finger on me I am calling the police. Wish me well please, I need it. I don't plan on discussing anything, I am just going to pack my things so the movers can come on Thursday.
I will keep you posted. Thanks again guys!
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I hope you're doing ok Jazz! Things do get better, I promise!
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Thank you, I guess I am doing okay. Last night here in hotel, electricity gets turned on tomorrow at my old house, so I will go back tomorrow.
I went today and packed everything up and Lee didn't have much to say to me. With his bedroom door open, he laid on his bed and sighed, flip flopped around, played with his dick in his pants and then proceeded to talk on the phone and joke and laugh with someone trying to make me jealous. It did not work. It took me 8 hours to pack my things and get ready for the movers to come. When I got ready to leave to come back to the hotel, he came out of the bedroom and said "You know I don't hate you" and I really did not know how to answer that…so I said "well that is good to know", I was not going to entertain him or try to engage in a conversation with him. I do have to go back tomorrow to move some things the movers I don't want them to move. When I say I guess I am okay, I am quite worried because although I am gay, I find myself not wanting to live the lifestyle since all this has taken place. I don't understand this at all. Maybe it is I feel at present "all used up". I have had two long-term relationships with men (I am not interested in pussy at all...LOL) 1 relationship lasting 12 years and the other 8. I think this one did me in...not sure. I am tired and exhausted, no sleep, not hungry and not at all interested in men, porn, dating, bars, nothing gay related all of a sudden. Your thoughts and opinions? I am worried that at my age of 54 (in the gay lifestyle that is a grandpa) that I will not ever entertain the thought of growing old with someone although I don't want to be alone. Just plain over it right now. :cry2: -
And to give some more background on my last long-term of 8 years….I thought the relationship was going well. We both were managers at a major pet store (in 2 different stores)...we were compatible, got along, enjoyed our time together, took wonderful vacations together and then I had a major massive heart attack that required surgery. While I was in the hospital I thought it was quite strange that my partner was not by my side very much. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks and he spent approx. 4 hours with me the whole 2 weeks I was there. I asked him to please be there to see me off to surgery and he did not show up. When I got home from the hospital I asked what was going on and he told me he did not think he loved me anymore. I was like we have been together for 8 years, I just got home from major heart problems and you tell me this? What the fuck? He wanted to stay at the house and live with me until he decided whether he truly loved me or not anymore. After 2 weeks I approached him and asks what he intentions were and he told me he did not know. One day I was going through my medicine cabinet and noticed that all my viagra was gone out of the medicine bottle. After that I asked him to leave. He moved out the next day. I found out 6 months later that he was engaged to another guy. So after the relationship with him and now the "so called relationship" with Lee...I am pretty much done. Any thoughts?
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Wow. You've been through a lot. So sorry things have been tough in the relationship side. (I should let someone on another thread here read this- he is 35 and is terrified he will end up alone).
A heart attack is a major scare- and it's a shame your partner wasn't capable of dealing with it. But I guess better it was before you got married and all.
My thoughts after all this, Jazz, are maybe you should focus on yourself for a while- find things to enjoy by yourself or with friends. You haven't mentioned much about friends- so I just have to say that they are a blessing when you're single. Or find some hobby where you can meet new people. You are in your 50's but that doesn't mean you stop growing and improving yourself and having fun. You don't need to be in a relationship to do any of that.
Best of luck!
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Thank you for your kind words Brian
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