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    Adopting last name?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Civil Unions & Marriage
    26 Posts 25 Posters 49.8k Views 1 Watching
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    • J Offline
      junior
      last edited by

      I hyphenated my last name adding his to the end.  Looking back I should have  made my last name my middle and just taken his last name.    I may seek a name change next summer.

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      • J Offline
        jake357
        last edited by

        I never really say hyphenating as an option, especially because my last name is already 8 letters long. Papers, forms, and signatures would just be exhausting. I have a friend who grew up with a hyphenated name and it never really worked out for them. Most of the time it ended up getting dropped or causing a lot of confusion.

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        • H Offline
          helloitsmesf
          last edited by

          definitely varies between couples. i personally wouldn't adopt my partner's last name just because im used to my own name HAHHA

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          • jkronfussJ Offline
            jkronfuss
            last edited by

            You can do that here but I would not.

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            • W Offline
              wrestler4000
              last edited by

              Neither I

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              • E Offline
                Eridanos
                last edited by

                So…can we hyphenate our last names or not?

                I honestly feel that this last name thing would degrade into very veiled power games...Which last name goes first (or which one is adopted by the other partner)? Are there maybe hidden meanings? (the first last name in the mix is from the 'dominant' partner?)

                This idea is kinda weird to me because, in my country when heterosexual couples marry the female doesn't lose her family name.  Actually, the children have both their parents last names (father's+mother's, in that order) and the wife can choose to be called (in public, not officially) Mrs. Paternal last name + Maternal last name + of Husband's last name

                Example: let's say a woman called Agatha Smith Souza marries a man with the last name Brown.

                Her official name is still Agatha Smith Souza (remember that in Mexico we keep both our parents paternal last names) but for formal or status reasons people might call her Agatha Smith Souza de (of) Brown.

                Actually the of + husband's last name seems the equivalent of this hyphenated name thing. 😮

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                • G Offline
                  groningen89
                  last edited by

                  my husband doesn't have a last name.. so , impossible 😛

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                  • obras62O Offline
                    obras62
                    last edited by

                    I don't think it's necessary.
                    First we should stop trying to be mainstream, the use of the word marriage is so antiquated it doesn't fit int he Heterosexual world anymore.

                    We should be happy that we can form a civil union and have rights with our partners.

                    Changing a name doesn't change the situation, nor do I think it is important. What's important is that we are becoming "normal" no loner weird but acceptable.
                    Nothing else really matters

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                    • S Offline
                      slimsf888
                      last edited by

                      I think people should be free to adopt the name of their choosing, but to be honest it kinda rubs me the wrong way when a person (straight or gay) takes their spouse's last name.  It feels like they are giving up part of their identity.  I certainly did not choose to do that, particularly as I am the last person in my family with my surname, it would feel disrespectful to my heritage to give it up.

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                      • A Offline
                        aadam101
                        last edited by

                        I wouldn't change my last name.  My partner can do whatever he wants.

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                        • flashboyF Offline
                          flashboy
                          last edited by

                          I would probably add his name next to mine, if it isn't really uggly.  :cheesy2:

                          Great minds discuss ideas,
                          average minds discuss events,
                          small minds discuss other people…

                          Eleanor Roosevelt

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                          • S Offline
                            syuvan12
                            last edited by

                            I would be okay with adopting my husbands last time, but only if he wants to do the same.
                            The whole culture of the woman getting the man's last name after marriage is just kinda absurd to me. It makes it seem like the woman is like somehow lesser than the man.

                            But if the partners take each other's last names, then to me, it sort of signifies the unification of their families, you know? Same thing with hyphenated names.

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                            • DamaDamaD Offline
                              DamaDama
                              last edited by

                              i am against marriage, homosexual, heterosexual, everything.So i would not even adopt any name and i would never marry.

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                              • F Offline
                                famousbovine
                                last edited by

                                I don't see the need to do it, so I probably won't (assuming that I would marry, and I don't see the need to either).

                                "A witty saying proves nothing."

                                • Voltaire
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                                • L Offline
                                  LambLegs
                                  last edited by

                                  My husband took my last name when we got married. I told him that I would never change my last name, so he has to make sure he really wanted to change his name (I was okay with keeping separate names). It was a hassle for him to change his name, but he says it was worth it.

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                                  • S Offline
                                    semurg30
                                    last edited by

                                    I remember I had a college professor who took his wife's last name. I always looked at him as a spineless loser after that. I guess if you're in a gay couple it doesn't really matter. But a man taking his wife's name seemed really unmanly to me.

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                                    • R Offline
                                      revden
                                      last edited by

                                      My partner and I have been together for 30yrs. We only now have started talking marriage, I guess because we are older and don't want or need family drama in the event something happens to one of us.
                                      We have talked about name changes and we are trying to incorperate both because he is the last of his line and I'm a junior so we want to honor both names. We will figure it out. everyone needs to do what's rite for them.

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                                      • L Offline
                                        lf4317
                                        last edited by

                                        Adopting the last name is old fashioned and sexist, in our opinion.

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                                        • J Offline
                                          jonnbristow
                                          last edited by

                                          I think it's romantic… if both decide to do it.

                                          I like the idea of creating a bond, but it also could look like an attempt of ownership of the other person's identity...

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                                          • K Offline
                                            kenjysn1
                                            last edited by

                                            the new age law don’t allow change the family name here. bcos the government think wife adopted husband name is not fair to woman.

                                            and same sexual marriage is never available here. even if it’s available I think the new age law still effect to same sexual marriage

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