Monogamy
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Monogamy?! You mean it isn't an expensive piece of wood? Well I'll be damned!
Oh wait…. That's Mahogany I'm thinking of... :hehe:
It's very hard for me to stay to just one person... They have to be reeeeeeally special.
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I think either can work depending on the individuals, so I don't really think one is inherently better than the other. It's something that should be evaluated on a case-by-case basis. Personally, I would like to have a serious, monogamous relationship. I like the idea that I could possibly meet someone I feel so strongly about that I actually want to spend the rest of my life with them. People outside of that become invisible to me, so I have no interest in sex or romance with other people. I like sex, but I don't want it as a kind of glorified masturbation. I like to know and have real feelings for someone before we shoving parts of our anatomy into one another. Casual sex has always felt very unfulfilling to me, but it does not bother me that other people enjoy it.
I've never been exceedingly horny the way some (a lot of) men seem to be, where they get really agitated and start acting all macho and obnoxious the moment they encounter someone they find attractive in public. I myself have seen guys in public and been so taken with them that I can't stop taking glances and feeling all fluttery, but I never go beyond that level. Some friends of mine get downright assholish when anyone, even unwittingly, gets in the way of their "mission" to fuck someone they've seen for the first time 10 minutes ago. It's all very alien to me. I'm getting off topic, though,
Despite not being a huge horndog and really wanting a single partner myself, I wouldn't care about that partner having casual sex. What is important is honesty and the sense of security that comes with knowing they still come home to me at the end of the day. It's not because they have to, but because they want to (considering I don't have loads of money or connections for anyone to exploit). Touching base, letting me know where they are, being safe and responsible (for their sake and mine), etc. is what's important to me. As long as my partner is honest, I am happy if they are happy.
I think the only aspect of a "one-sided open relationship" that would really bother me is if they brought their one night stands home with them. I think anyone who isn't a huge narcissist would be able to understand that nobody but some cuck (and I'm not one) wants to wait around watching TV in the living room while people noisily fuck in the other room. I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone that inconsiderate to begin with, though.
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Monogamy?! You mean it isn't an expensive piece of wood? Well I'll be damned!
Oh wait…. That's Mahogany I'm thinking of... :hehe:
It's very hard for me to stay to just one person... They have to be reeeeeeally special.
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Mongamy. But it happends, from time to time we have threesome with a close friend….
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monogamy, I love him so much, it's killing me to have sex with other person.
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Polyamory. It just teaches you so many things about love, caring, sharing, trusting, belonging! :ghug:
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Polyamory. It just teaches you so many things about love, caring, sharing, trusting, belonging! :ghug:
Not to mention it's more fun that way…
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Sex and relationships are two different things. I don't care if my BF has sex with other people. He just can't have a relationship with them.
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they are two different concepts. monogamy means you only have one spouse/couple/lover. open relationship mean that you can have sex with other people but no feelings.
a monogamous open relationship works for me
or polyamory like someone else said
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Monogamy for me.. I can't stand finding someone fucking with my partners dick. Hell no! I'm very protective of my man. Anything comes in between….... then it's scrapping time..
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"Monogamy" or open relationship? I prefer open relationship.
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depends on the dude. i'm happy to start being monogamous if someone can satisfy my emotional and sexual needs, but i do feel like eventually i'll just stray. i'm not polyamorous, but i do see the value of being open.
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monogamy and nothing else!!
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Open relationship but interested in polyamory
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Really don't know. As it has been stated above already, it depends on the person.
Monogamy seems more fulfilling when you have a successful relation where you manage to express how you both feel and work out misundertandings and problems.
Open relationship…feels more dependant on the sexual side, after all that's it's purpose: to not limit your sexual experiences. Problem is that sometimes affective feelings can form with the dude you're suposed to be only sleeping with.
Polyamorous...while I would love to have several 'husbands' it seems kinda taxing....it most take very hard work to be in a relationship with several others at once and making them all happy and feeling loved equally.
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i am monogamous and i can't function in an open relationship.I am sensitive and i have deep feeling for one person ^-^
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Do we need to put a label on it?
The idea is that you have a partner that you care for more than others?
I care for my friends the same as I care for my partner ( I am talking about close friends, that I would consider family).Sex is Sex. You don't need to put a problem to it. Many try to live as the "heteros" and they don't even have it right.
If you want to monogamous then be so, but don't judge others for not conforming to your standards.
You will have a stronger relationship without worrying about an affair. -
Do we need to put a label on it?
Unfortunately, we have to.
Regarding as living like heteros, well…it can't be helped that gay people try to emulate some concepts taken from the heteronormative society, is the only role model we have.
On the other hand, I think maybe we should be better in the long run if we tried to create new social forms according to our own reality, instead of trying to copy/paste those of the heterosexuals. But maybe that would be too revolutionary for the rest of society.
Gay people got more acceptance, but they're being assimilated by mainstream society, which I don't find totally bad. But we do need to rethink this social forms to better fit them to us.
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The way I see it, monogamy has a strong appeal because it means that you and someone special to you have chosen to put each other FIRST, above everyone else in your life. Even your closest friends, and family. That brings a sense of security and ideally creates a space where you have trust in the person and feel safe enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable. That's a very precious thing.
If others feel that an open relationship is the way to go, then as long as both parties are fine with it, it should work. Though there is a greater chance for jealousies and uncertainty to come up- specially since there is always the risk that letting someone new in will result in a stronger bond with one of you and lead to the dissolution of your relationship.
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Monogamy has nothing to do with heteronormative society blah blah blah.
Monogamy happens.
It can't be forced. It can't be preferred instead of the other option. We are polygamous by nature.
If you haven't found monogamy or the lack of desire for other people than your partner, you just haven't found the one. Only that one really special person can bring monogamy to you. And when you find them, believe me, you WILL NOT feel like having sex with anybody else.
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