Three elderly men are sitting together and discussing
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Three elderly men are sitting together and discussing what they want their family and friends to say when they are lying in their casket at their funeral.
The first man says "I want them to say I was a great father and a great friend. I want them to say I could always be counted on."
The second guy says "I just want them to talk about how much I changed the world, and how I left it a better place."
The third man says "I want them to look right at me and say: 'Look! He's moving!'"
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Three elderly ladies are discussing their mental health. The first lady says, "Today I was at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember if I had just gone up or was about to go down."
The second lady says, "I was sitting at the edge of my bed and I couldn't remember if I was about to sleep or just woke up."
The final lady says, "My memory is as good as ever, knock on wood." With this she hits the table twice. Suddenly she is startled and looks up, "Who's there?"
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