Age Gaps

agis

I very much agree with your thoughts here. I have found that the younger guys in their late teens and early 20's, can be attracted to older men anywhere from their 30's to the 50's, usually either because they have "father complex issues" and require a strong, masculine, mentoring/coaching personality in their lives [but it is not long term - it is a phase that can last a few months, a few years, at best as the person becomes more confident in being gay] vs. those who truly have a "polar" desire and attraction by nature (Polar = older men, grey/white hair, etc.) and are "hard wired" in their sexual desire and attraction to be with them. The majority of the relationships that do occur, I have found, are based upon the "father complex" element, and thus do not last. The "polar" relationship, are fewer, but are very real and last. Boiling down to Chemistry, as you note. - Speaking with authority. haha

Someone else mentioned that this entire topic was an over-generalization and I have to agree to an extent….but for the sake of debate (and I love a good debatable discussion), I will have to admit that the aforementioned quote is mostly true, and this is coming from a guy that began a relationship, at the age of 24, with a man (who is still my husband to this day) that is 15 years older than I....so it's unsettling for me to think that people might believe I am influenced by some deep seeded emotional fracture and not the more endearing possibility that two individuals can find all they are looking for in another person, regardless of their age. Now I won't pretend that this is always the case, nor that most younger adults are capable of processing the true nature of their decisions when it comes to relationships or anything that requires true commitment on their behalf....flights of fancy come to mind, with little regards to the future and its inevitable demise....that sounds harsh now that I've said it....lol.....generalizations may not be fair or acceptable when it comes down it to, but there's a reason that we can call them generalizations....it's majority....shrugs Of course, there's exceptions to every rule and assumption, and to those exceptions are where I like to look....if only to believe that love transcends all :twg:....laughs at my attempt at sogginess

I hate to think that in all my existential contemplation I have chosen to ignore or am unable to realize exactly what he said, most age separated relationships are caused by "father complex issues"....well that would definitely make this awkward on my part.....haha....but as it stands my husband and I have been together for almost 6 years, with no foreseeable end in sight, he's my best friend, my lover, and I don't feel compelled to rip his head off (unlike with others of my own age)....HA....the short hand of this long winded speech is, it's probably 50/50....lol....half of them are making up for some internal deficit and the other half are just older than their true years and trying to make the best of it.....

On the other hand I might just be eccentric and should probably stick to what I'm good at..... :bj2:

Hey Apo! you have taught me a nu English word "sogginess" :cheers: . Not exactly sure of its meaning though :laugh:
Seemed something of self-ironical cause if love transcended all it would not have exceptions ^-^

jonas25

Im from Sweden. My man and i have been toghether since i was 19, its 20 years ago. And he is 11 years older than me. He is a farmer and in good shape…..

bare4bear

I'm glad you say that. People just like to act like they know what they're talking about. Things are different for different people.

pillowbiter

All it takes is the right chemistry and communication. Any age, over the age of consent, is just a number. :hug:

oldmanlover

im 24 my partner is 63, we get along fine, i look after him and he keeps me out of trouble at night, there are some issues like goals or traveling and having an older person that has done all that and may not feel secure on the plane or long walks at the airport, health insurance in all,
i havent been in a relationship with someone my age, i would get more things done but i dont find anyone at my age attractive,

Ascareus

it seems that my BF will be younger than me
but what i really fear that he's likely `the top while i am the bot..
sometimes that kind of relationship isn't normal

myrea

@Ascareus:

it seems that my BF will be younger than me
but what i really fear that he's likely `the top while i am the bot..
sometimes that kind of relationship isn't normal

Ascareus, redefine your normal… because normal is, well just a word which people use to stygmatize and divide... believe me there are loads of young tops and older bottoms as couple, it's far from something to raise a brow at. And it's your life live it as you desire.

lawyer72us

My husband is 23 years older than me and we are 10 years together.

jonas25

I love my 11 year older husband. And i love to take care of him and he love to take care of my needs….. :cheers: :love:

YoungDuncan

Age isn't an issue for me. I tend to prefer older guys as guys my age are too fickle. But I guess there would be a limit. I would find it weird to date someone who was retired, for example. But I wouldn't have a problem if they were divorced and had kids. Guess I'm the weird one…

jonas25

My man is 14 years older than me. We started dating (he took my virginity) when i was 20 (1993). We are still together…..

Derdukboy

I don't really think age gap are any kind of problem(As long you're +18 xD). I'm 19 but I like 30-35 old men. :cheers:

shizen

As long if you're both happy with it ánd follow the law it's wrong in my eyes. I think it's better to be someone you really love who's a lot older than to be with someone who is around your age and don't feel comfortable with him/her.

gyv

@Derdukboy:

I don't really think age gap are any kind of problem(As long you're +18 xD). I'm 19 but I like 30-35 old men. :cheers:

Yes, I'm 35 and my bf is 21 and we are very happy, so I don't think age gap are any kind of problem :cheers: :hug2:

chubchaser

I am 20 and I don't really care what age my partner is. I have had 5 sexual partners, 3 being between the ages of 33 and 35, and the other two being 21 and 24. My boyfriend is 35 and I do feel that my parents would rather me be dating someone my own age, but it has no affect on me especially because he is just so damn cute!

Now I do think that there is a limit, I don't think I could go past 40 for a relationship, but for just a sexual interaction I definitely could.

Aurbierre

I've only been in two relationships in my life.

The first one the gap was 26 years.. I was 19 then, and my current relationship the gap's 12.

Most of my friends are cool with the age gap of my current relationship but the first one was tough to explain as he was as old as my own parents. but then even that didn't bother me.

I love older guys. i find experience to be a real bonus point when am with a guy, but the major factor for both my relationships was maturity - not age, but mental maturity. Guys can be older physically and yet be immature and vice versa, and both guys (ex and current) were very mature in their demeanour and this was the biggest factor that sparked the relationships.

So the age gap was shall I say a bonus point for me.. it's not overly important and I dont see the problem with it as long as both parties are happy, but for me maturity has a higher value.

assoom

It does not matter to me as long as there is chemistry.
But older people accept large gaps as you said because their chances to get laid are less, unlike younger guys who have more options