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    Can you love sex with men butnot love men?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Sex & Relationships
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    • A Offline
      ak1986
      last edited by

      What is difficult here is the relative lack of openly bisexual people.  Most people I know who are sexually adventurous would or have had sex with both genders, but they choose a side, and they choose to identify themselves as either straight or gay cause it's a lot easier with stereotypes about bisexual guys (not so much girls) like those ones.  I am not an exception.  Sex is very important I agree, but sex is not just about genitals is what I'm saying.  I don't think they define or even have a big say in one's sexuality.  The gender divide is mostly fictitious and societal.  There are a lot more bisexual people than openly bisexual people, believe me.  If a guy can live as straight then it's easier.  If a guy can live as gay in some ways that's easier too.  If the guy who posted the original message did fall in love with a guy and settle down, by your logic, why wouldn't he go out and cheat because he would be craving sex with a girl?  You seem to be talkin about very specific types of bisexuals.  I hate the word bisexual.  Why would anyone choose never to experience sex with a gender, and thus cut off the people they are attracted to by 50%?  Other than them being uncomfortable about words like queer and bisexual?

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      • ? This user is from outside of this forum
        Guest
        last edited by

        I do not believe that is the scenario for all bisexuals…

        but the ones i've encounter...which has been plenty...make me feel this way...and yes for the OP...if he fall in love with in man..sexually he will be missing something..whether or not the relationship will be enough to subside that whats he will be missing..depends on him...right?

        but i have to say that bi seems easier for some than gay...

        i've heard it enough time for other gays..that at first they came out as bisexuals..cause it seemed more acceptable...from friends and family...giving the hope that they might still be able to have a family with someone from the oppostie sex...

        I do not have a problem with bisexual in general...but the ones i've met...and i know its not all the bisexuals in the world..do not give the best examples of monogamy..but i do not believe in monogamy either....

        I just hate the dishonesty....I'm not bi...totally gay here..and very comfortable about it...but i do not beleive in having a one on one relationship..open relationships is a plus for me.....but i'm honest about it...when i meet someone new...

        most peeps would not be...all categories...and that is my issue...many want monogamy but most do not know what that really is...

        and i think that is the issue the OP has...he thinks men can have a relationship...with many anyways...but maybe is that he can't have a relationship with men...society pushed that so well...only hetero relationships work...

        which in reality....its not so true..they just portrait it as it if does work..lies are just a wonderful thing...

        but as i said i do not care if you are gay...straight or bi...just be honest with yourself and others..and it will be fine...

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        • A Offline
          ak1986
          last edited by

          I know what you're saying.  I think there are a lot of people who find it easier to come out as bi then slip into a gay lifestyle.  I also think that some of these people are bi, they just ultimately find it easier being gay.  I am completely honest with myself when it comes to sexuality, and I never gave anyone the idea that I'd settle down with a woman or anything; heck I walk about with a bag that says 'BAN MARRIAGE' on it.  I think what I'm trying to say here is that I wish more bi guys were honest with themselves.  I can understand why they wouldn't be, cause I've had just as much shit about my sexuality, or probably more, from gay guys than straight ones.  I'm happy to identify myself as queer, as long as it doesn't stop me sleeping with ladies if I so wish.  I agree completely with your final sentiment.

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          • ? This user is from outside of this forum
            Guest
            last edited by

            and i totally agree with yours…I do not have that much of a problem with bisexual..LOL..

            but the ones i've encounter..did not do the group good...I don't care who you have sex with..just be honest about it...thats all..to yourself..and to those who you do get involved..sexually..romantically...etc..

            but even tho i'm gay does not mean i get all of it..LOL..i was watching this show yesterday or whenever...about this guy..transgender...but he/she is stilla attractive to women and women only..making may thing..ok so you want to be a lesbian...and fine i don't get it..but its all good...

            what pissed me off..its that his maried to a woman and has a kid...unfair to both of them...he should have been honest before..she is still with him..but having issues..can't blame her...she cares for him/her...but she wonders does this makes me a lesbian..was it the sex/gender that made her stay or the person...so i get what you mean...mostly...and its all good..

            its good to know a bi guy..that its comfortable with who he is..even if its over the internet...

            be who you want to be..but be honest about it..if and when in a relationship...its not fair fot he other person having to deal with such issues..if not given a choice...that is my big hangup i have with anyone in the closet or partially in the closet...you want to deal with your crazy issues...solve them before you get a second person in your life..not easy to do...but its the best thing to do...

            anyways..good topic...later...

            Derek

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            • M Offline
              Mungos
              last edited by

              Hello
              ok i know for shure that i can love sex with women but not love women. I am 100% gay and i can love only man. this is maybe dificulty to understand but i make diference between sex and love. Sex is for me only pleasure and i admit that if is it with man that i love is better then with man or women that i don't love but still is pleasure that I very like and love. Love a man or the women is something else then love a sex with man or women.

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              • T Offline
                twinkerzzz
                last edited by

                1. I think you should visit bi-sexual support & information sites  - you will find that the development for bis is particular to bi people and very different to gay people. The question you pose is typical of bi-sexual development and their framework is very different to gay people. For example a common solution for bi-aware people is to prioritse their relationshhips within the framework of a 'primary' and 'secondary' partner. Bis have to live with the difficult condition of needing to emotionally invest in two different genders. They have different solutions to their own bi-specific problems.

                2. You use the expression 'fall in love'.  Falling in love is an elusive term. Love itself, the fundamentals of entrusting oneself to another - for many many people this is very difficult and even those who partner may never feel this all the time.

                Love can be written about in volumes - it's complexities and depths, it's interpretation -if it exists, what it is , what it isnt…..you seem to expect it from your circumstance or as a defining presence of the time you choose to settle down. But that may not be the case.

                When the time comes for you to partner, there may be many factors that force the issue of settling down into your life, and falling in love may not come into it. You may grow into love through familiarity - love is about life - it s 'big' - it doesnt always 'arrive' - it might take years for you/anyone to recognise it's presence in your/their world - to understand what it is as a value - who it reaches out to - and how you choose to express it -

                I don't think any conversation about loving, love or being in love should be mixed up with establishing who one is comfortable having sex with and in what way or extent that sex occurs. Love is something else.

                I would say your responsibility to yourself is to be honest about your sexual orientations first and then seek out information from the appropriiate sources to help you to continue to grow and establish your own unique finger print. In that way when loves manifests , you will be able to treat it with respect without any self deceit, conflict, or betrayal occuring in the relationship.

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                • D Offline
                  daytongay
                  last edited by

                  @sexybaby:

                  I love fooling around with men but i would never let another guy take me up my ass.

                  There's certainly nothing wrong about not bottoming if you don't want to – god knows we bottoms can use all the tops we can get -- but saying you'll never do it means you're going to miss out on meeting your prostate and having some great anal orgasms, however you choose to self identify.

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                  • F Offline
                    fandango89
                    last edited by

                    I love sex with men and have dated both men and women, but I really couldn't see myself settling down or having a long term relationship with a guy.

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                    • raphjdR Offline
                      raphjd Forum Administrator
                      last edited by

                      @fandango89:

                      I love sex with men and have dated both men and women, but I really couldn't see myself settling down or having a long term relationship with a guy.

                      Why?!

                      Do you feel that gay relationships are inferior?

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                      • C Offline
                        cresmoon
                        last edited by

                        I believe this can be the case.

                        I know a few straight men who enjoy the experience of having sex with a man (having a penis in their ass), and yet they would never kiss a guy and they still want a girlfriend, have kids, etc.

                        It seems like a lot of people are just curious about the actual feelings of it, and why else would we have a g-spot in our ass if we weren't meant to explore the feelings we can get from using it.

                        So, I think you can love sex with men, but not have to be in love with men…

                        but that's the not the case with homosexual men, of course.  😉

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                        • S Offline
                          sexybaby
                          last edited by

                          but then that brings up the case also of men who do love men and are ga but just hide behind the whole i love having sex with men and not love or have the life style.

                          I love sex with men. i dont like anything in my ass - i could not love a man . i see them as atractive and they turn me on.

                          Come one Come All!!!

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                          • L Offline
                            lovehole
                            last edited by

                            personally, i would say YES! you can have sex any guys without loving anyone.

                            maybe, your still in "LUST" period! but time will come this will change.

                            i was like that but i found myself my beautiful, loving, sweet BF!

                            he's the only guy fucked me! and loving it!

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                            • C Offline
                              cresmoon
                              last edited by

                              @sexybaby:

                              but then that brings up the case also of men who do love men and are ga but just hide behind the whole i love having sex with men and not love or have the life style.

                              I love sex with men. i dont like anything in my ass - i could not love a man . i see them as atractive and they turn me on.

                              No offence, but you just seem like a slut. Not everyone is like that.

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                              • S Offline
                                salas
                                last edited by

                                ok first, gay relationships (even marriage) is not inferior to staight relationship. In fact, gays couples are more stable than straight couples… why? because between two gay guys, they know what's going on, they know they are both sluts, and they are ok with it (i'm talking about younger couples). Older, more mature gay couples, they are very serious ans very monogamic (except for open-relationship). I know many gays couples like that.
                                Straight couples... not even let me start with them... All i will say is that they are crapier then gays couples most of the time.

                                second, Loving a man is so much fullfilling, and so intense... so pure. I'm in love myself and let me tell u that it makes me feel alive, even thought he is in belgium and i'm here in the fuckin united states...
                                My straight best friends (a girl) agrees with me, and some other straight guys i know agree that gay love is sometimes more honest than straight love (go figure  ???).

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                                • T Offline
                                  thomas261989
                                  last edited by

                                  @lovehole:

                                  personally, i would say YES! you can have sex any guys without loving anyone.

                                  maybe, your still in "LUST" period! but time will come this will change.

                                  i was like that but i found myself my beautiful, loving, sweet BF!

                                  he's the only guy fucked me! and loving it!

                                  I envy you!

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                                  • H Offline
                                    HRG
                                    last edited by

                                    @sexybaby:

                                    I dont know if it is just myself but can anyone here say that they like sex with men and not fall in love with men?

                                    I love fooling around with men but i would never let another guy take me up my ass. i would fuck a guy up the ass and cum though

                                    Can anyone tell me if they have the same feelings?!?

                                    You described me, and I don't like men with women's attitudes.
                                    I love be a man and do things that men do naturally, I want to be a firefighter.
                                    But I love fuck another men, trade kisses and be sucked.

                                    there is nothing wrong with us, we just like to be Top guys.

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                                    • Y Offline
                                      yofang
                                      last edited by

                                      @salas:

                                      My straight best friends (a girl) agrees with me, and some other straight guys i know agree that gay love is sometimes more honest than straight love (go figure  ???).

                                      for gays is oftem easier to have sex, but harder do have a serious relationship that it is with straighs. u end up having so much troubles with society, family,… that when u only go to the trouble of being in a relationship, when u really love that person. and than the love is really strong and fufieling as u said

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                                      • H Offline
                                        Hobbestails
                                        last edited by

                                        Some people probably can others probably can't.

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                                        • P Offline
                                          Phaze8146
                                          last edited by

                                          Yes but of course you can if that is your nature. See I think that no one and yes I did say NO ONE person is 100percent GAY or STRAIGHT. Everyone is sexual, Straight think they have to be and Gay think they have to be also. Society has worked its magic on both sides here. The sraight world for the most part want you to be straight. The gay world wants you to be gay. People will always have there difference until everyone can TRUE-LY OPEN there mind to what other want and what they them selves want. And to be happy with it and not even question it. In a perfect society people would just have sex with you ever they found attractive or turned on by or by what ever it that would draw you to that person. It could be the same sex and it could be the oppsoite sex but no one would even think about it as wrong or right or gay or bi or straight. I would just be human to have sex with other humans. We are the only species that frowns apoun the differnet or not differnt enough or to straight . I belive that every person is what they call it to day is BI. But there would be no labes in a perfect world and the sonner that you get ride of the lables the closer to mankind we will become. Be honest if you dont at least break out of what to you is you norm or your comerfet zone than you have at least thought about doing it. And if you havent ever pondered the thought then I belive you that you are lying to your self and you need to get out of your box in what ever way that it might be. This is what I have figured out in my time so far. Many will think differnt than what I say but that is what makes us human also lol. IF you are a man and you never slept with a women get the courage to find one and do it experince it . And dont say I did it once it was terrible becuase I have had many great and many bad from both sides. If you are a man that hasent slept with a man the do so. And women which might be in here you do the same thing. Sex is SEX and Love is love. You may be able to find sex and comfert in one sex . Others can not. It has nothing to do with socity for some I think it is just that you find one sex more attracitve and the other more turned on by it but That is my opion and I hope you enjoyed reading this and think about be for you blast off at the keyboard and not ponder it for a moment or 2.  Thanks for reading this .

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                                          • J Offline
                                            jagged
                                            last edited by

                                            i luv sex with men
                                            can only have sex with men
                                            but iv never ever been in luv
                                            i luv all iv had sex with
                                            and iv luv'd the sex
                                            but i dont need to fall in luv to have sex  😄

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