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    If I never come out of closet…

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Coming Out
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    • P Offline
      PumpingMuscl
      last edited by

      to be honest I think your sexuality is nobody's business! I'm not out but also I don't see myself " in the closet" I see myself as a private person what's the point of telling people you like dicks 😄 and you already know that some of them ( if not most) will not get it or understand it at all because they aren't in your shoes! I think it's better to just live normally and don't make your happiness depends on others! if you accepted yourself then you're already happy you don't need to share your information to be happy. I tried it once with my straight best friend and told him I'm gay even though he was cool about it but I felt SO ridiculous and I wish I could take it back. nobody needs to know what I'm into really!

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      • A Offline
        arlequina
        last edited by

        OH SNAP

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        • V Offline
          vvzz888
          last edited by

          @PumpingMuscl If that works for you then great. I agree that it's theoretically no-one's business. However, not putting it out there to the people who know there can cause a chilling effect on personal relationships. In my case coming out was about making it possible to have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend (i.e. not hiding his existence from all my friends and family).

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          • D Offline
            dist
            last edited by

            Do you need to come out to be happy? Yes.
            But you won't truly understand that until you've come out..

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            • H Offline
              hngn2
              last edited by

              you gotta make sure urself r comfortable for whatever decision you make first

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              • D Offline
                daviscarter9
                last edited by

                I think I will do that at least for a long time if not forever. I do not consider coming out until a time comes when the people I know and care about now are no longer with me or close to me. As everyone said, it is different for everyone and you are the only one who is able to properly balance pros and cons.

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                • G Offline
                  Gothicred
                  last edited by

                  You can talk to friends if you are not ready to talk to your family. You can also try to live alone and act as you like. Take care  :love:

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                  • S Offline
                    son2batman
                    last edited by

                    …I would never have truly lived.

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                    • H Offline
                      harry3500
                      last edited by

                      This was my biggest fear for quite awhile, not being able to come out and be free. However, once I became financially independent, it was much easier to do so since I had back up incase shit hit the fan.

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                      • V Offline
                        vaylon 0
                        last edited by

                        All depends on the person you want to be. Can you live a life in secret and lie's and still be happy? Some people can but I have never seen it work long term. All secrets eventually come out.

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                        • L Offline
                          ladadee888
                          last edited by

                          It all depends. Is it safe for you to come out? What will the repercussions be if you do come out? Will you get kicked out of your home (if you live with family), will they not support you? If that is the case- maybe when you are financially stable and independent you can come out. In the end, if you lose friends because of your sexual orientation, then they weren't true friends to begin with. If it will make you happier, then do it.

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                          • DamaDamaD Offline
                            DamaDama
                            last edited by

                            it is very difficult in my opinion to live entirely in the closet for all you life.For me it is about honesty and truth.I mean, sooner or later, you have to have real friends, and if you want to have real friends, you have to be honest with them and BE YOURSELF with them!!
                            As for your family, they don't really have to know, but you would feel really comfortable telling them.But you must consider the consequences first!!

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                            • M Offline
                              Mcjl
                              last edited by

                              Live your life and do what you feel is best.  There are no rules when it comes to life.

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                              • GrotomodeG Offline
                                Grotomode
                                last edited by

                                I think it will be really tough if you tell no one. You should at least have some friends who will know, right? Maybe not now since you're young but later on.

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                                • D Offline
                                  DimitrisY
                                  last edited by

                                  Dude. Listen to me.
                                  Your parents, and people who really love you, will still love you no matter what.
                                  I'm 22 yo, and I came out to my mom 12 days ago, so it's very fresh into my head.
                                  I was really afraid about her reaction. I had been fighting with my worst fears for many years since I found out that I'm gay.
                                  During the last week before I come out, I was extremely overwhelmed. I was so excited because I was about to tell her the bare truth, but in the same time, I was freaked out. There was one day, that I'd been feeling like I was having a stroke.
                                  There is NO reason to be depressed. My mother is one of those who had been judging gay people, and this is the reason why I was afraid of telling her. Because I had been thinking that she wouldn't accept me, or that she would be extremely sad. None of this happened. She told me that I'm her son, that she loves me no matter what I am, and that she will always support me. Since then, I feel reborn. Previously, I had been feeling like there was a hand which was pressing me to my chest, and that I couldn't breathe, and now I'm extremely relieved!
                                  2 female friends, 1 male cousin, and 1 male friend of mine knew the truth about me, before I come out to my sis, and a week after, to my mother. If you haven't talked to your friends, go ahead and talk to them. Talk to those who can really be trusted. They may be in a better position to advise you and guide you, cuz they know you, and they might know your parents, too.
                                  Stop being self-destructive and unhappy. I wish I had told her earlier. I wouldn't be in that shitty position torturing myself for so many years. I didn't say anything to my father, tho. As long as my mother knows, I'm OK with that. I wish you good luck.

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                                  • K Offline
                                    kenjysn1
                                    last edited by

                                    happiness and unhappiness in adulthood is not simply related to your sexuality, you will suffer kinds of troubles, and then you will find out your sexuality is the not a problem no one care you. if you are less sexual driven it’s better to be closet otherwise to be out. to be a gay have many benefits, so dude just be a happier gay in a closet or outside

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                                    • V Offline
                                      vaylon 0
                                      last edited by

                                      Coming out depends on your culture and where you live.
                                      If you are in America, its no big deal anymore. No one but the haters even cares and luckily, their numbers are shrinking very much. But if you live in Russia or Mongolia or most backwoods third world countries? Definitely think hard and long about it. You don't want to put yourself in danger.

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                                      • N Offline
                                        nickys1177
                                        last edited by

                                        there is no rule that you need to come out if you are gay…just be yourself

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