Ex Getting with So Called "Friend"… Advice Wanted
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I would not try to be his friend. He kinda betrayed you in some form or fashion. I broke up with my ex last October, he was very abusive towards me, he was emotionally and mentally abusive. We have over the past 3 months tried to be friends, even spent Christmas together,
but in January his abusive nature took over again. I ended the friendship as of yesterday. I even had to change my phone number because he would not leave me alone. I am as well still grieving, even though he was abusive, I loved him and I am still sad over the situation. There is a thread here in Sex and relationships…called "my partner and his best friend", read it. -
Sorry to hear about what you went through. It's not clear though, but from what I understood- he broke up with you before getting together with this other guy? If so, then as someone distant enough to give another perspective- maybe he was being decent enough to break up with you before hooking up with someone else. That counts for something.
It sucks to be dumped that way- but in my own experience- the biggest risk of a long distance relationship is that you tend to lose out to someone who is physically there. It's human nature and you can't blame someone for falling for a person who they can get together with regularly vs someone who is so far away. Not to say that it's impossible for long distance romance to work out- but the odds are against you.
As to becoming friends- as I said he seems to have at least done the decent thing and broken up with you before hooking up with someone else. If you can get past that, and leave your romantic notions in the past, then by all means be friends with him again. But if you still have emotional baggage to deal with, then it's best to keep your distance, let the wounds heal and meet someone new.
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That's fucked up on your friends part. You have to cut him loose.
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Sorry to hear about what you went through. It's not clear though, but from what I understood- he broke up with you before getting together with this other guy? If so, then as someone distant enough to give another perspective- maybe he was being decent enough to break up with you before hooking up with someone else. That counts for something.
It sucks to be dumped that way- but in my own experience- the biggest risk of a long distance relationship is that you tend to lose out to someone who is physically there. It's human nature and you can't blame someone for falling for a person who they can get together with regularly vs someone who is so far away. Not to say that it's impossible for long distance romance to work out- but the odds are against you.
As to becoming friends- as I said he seems to have at least done the decent thing and broken up with you before hooking up with someone else. If you can get past that, and leave your romantic notions in the past, then by all means be friends with him again. But if you still have emotional baggage to deal with, then it's best to keep your distance, let the wounds heal and meet someone new.
i totally agree with you and the thing is he might have already been intimate with someone even before the breakup. If you feel uncomfortable being friends with him then don't but , in your case, when its inevitable not to see him then maybe you could focus yourself on something else or someone else.
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You should cut it loose. Not worth the effort and time.
The emotions will be there as always but, you need to love again and be loved. Don't get hung up on situations like this. Plenty of beautiful fishes in the sea. Go look. :hug:
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Hmm. If it were me?
Since we have the same group of friends, I wouldn't be able to avoid him. I've never had that sort of relationship, but I guess the bitterness would fade over time. But then again, I feel like I've been discarded like shit, so it'd be hard to tell.
I'd still be friends with him, although I have to consider how HE feels about us being friends. I'm too forgiving, damn it.
PS. My head hurt because of this. :cheesy2: -
Thanks for all the advice everyone. Yea DamaDama I do feel like I was just tossed aside like a used tissue & cast aside so abruptly like that. In any case, I think I'm just going to completely cut them out of my life & not talk to them again. They are dating btw, so that's great XD But yea geox not worth my time & effort to befriend backstabbers & liars.
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Stop talking to both of them?
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Thanks for all the advice everyone. Yea DamaDama I do feel like I was just tossed aside like a used tissue & cast aside so abruptly like that. In any case, I think I'm just going to completely cut them out of my life & not talk to them again. They are dating btw, so that's great XD But yea geox not worth my time & effort to befriend backstabbers & liars.
I thinkt that's the best thing to do. I was being manipulated for a long too and had the same situation except the other guy was not my friend. He wanted to become friends afrter a breakup too and I was always the only one losing on that. Really man. It's a good decision. Not speaking to my ex for a while made me realize how musch manipulated I was and how much of a sociopath he was. Not saying your guy is but he was running away from problems instead of fixing them the same way. He would not talk about some issues and then come up with his own conclusions only seen right according to his fucked up logic built on so called observations. Always trying to make me the mad one and complaining one. One time I was impulsive one time I wasn't spontaneous enough. One time hot one time cold. Deeper I went with it the worse it got. I'm very intelligent so there was times when I knew that he's explanation is missing some parts. When confronted there was ALWAYS ANOTHER reason all over again. Sorry to be ranting I'm still pissed off too as you are
but just really dude, get over it. I'm sure there is a better guy for you. A lot of people would tell me there are other guys. There weren't not for me. Still he's the only one but I'm just starting to see that behind the perfection of looks, handsomeness, beautiful body, outstanding masculinity, amazing intelligence, big wallet and charming charisma there is a sick old rotten man not worth our pain 
Good luck at healing! -
You should cut it loose. Not worth the effort and time.
The emotions will be there as always but, you need to love again and be loved. Don't get hung up on situations like this. Plenty of beautiful fishes in the sea. Go look. :hug:
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