Am I Pathetic?
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Hi There, if im of some advice, let me gave you the best piece of advice anyone is going to gave to you ever.
Dont give your first time too much importance, sex is something you are going to start figuring out on yourself when you feel like you are ready for it. But dont idealize or put too much hope on your first time.
Mine was with one of my actual best friends, we knew each other from some years, i didnt loved him or anything, but he had a lot of experience and without any feelings he transformed my first time into something epic.
But for instance first time with my actual husband from 4 yrs now was awful for personal reasons.
So truth be told, enjoy yourself, dont wait to love someone to have sex because that doesnt guarantee anything, always protect yourself (never bareback with anyone even if they insist, never risk your life for anyone) but dont lose time; sexual experiences are going to shape a lot of who you are sexually and even some parts of you as a person .
Plus when you look back you are going to remember those experiences with a smile.
So just enjoy yourself and enjoy sex and always remember two things that are going to help you a lot.
A kiss is not a marriage proposal.
Your first time is not going to be as good or as bad as you thought. So dont idealize it.
And finally, be clear of what you and the other person wants, if it sex you and the other person wants, THEN ITS JUST SEX. If both are looking or thinking about having something else, good. But never mix feelings in the equation if sex is what was on tht table since the beggining. That is going to save you a lot of heartbreaks. -
It is your body, your choice. Whatever you choose to do it with it ( and with others ) :hug2: is entirely up to you.
As to your original question about whether you were pathetic. This may sound odd, but…
F**k what other people think.
Do not feel pressured into doing things you're not ready for. As for wanting it to be just as good as your fantasies.....well, I'm not going to lie. Everyone one of my sexual encounters fulfilled a certain fantasy (..or nightmare for that matter :blink: ) But the important part is not to let the expectation build up and distort what may or may not come.
Lastly, you need a hug :hug:
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thanks guys:)
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I think if you were not feeling it, you were not feeling. I hated my first oral experience. I had in my mind what I wanted it to be. I used a phone line (Internet hook ups not that sophisticated at that point) and rushed to a guy I had talked to. After getting there he had lied about his age looks, everything. He was not awful, but I knew I was not into it and I did not at all enjoy it.
It will never be "perfect" but if it does not get you horny…why even try it?
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I think how comfortable you feel can also depend on the person you're with. It might not be the right time, but it also could not be the right guy.
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In my personal opinion, you can't jut directly leap into something like this. I guess it takes time and depending on each person whether he's ready or not. You are not an exception. You will eventually do it, spontanteously might even, when the timing is right. If you only think you need to do it just because you're curious or your desire that you must lose your viriginity, there's a chance you may not enjoy it, while it's supposed to feel good, but only when you're emotionally and physically ready. When that I don't know, but sometimes, it just… happen.
Don't worry, just take your time. I'm even still a virgin myself, even though I have a boyfriend already. I'm thinking if I want to do it, the time ann place must be right and comfortable. So far I haven't found the right moment, but when I'm ready... who knows? Thankfully he's understanding
Nope. You're not pathetic.
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You should always go with your gut and if it doesn't feel right then be like anti-nike and just don't do it.
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regrets, remorse are the worse..
you need to think like that: What am i going to think about myself 15, 20 years from now? if you have the slightest beliefs that you might regret (doing or not doing something ( not doing is , to me worse, as if you do something and later regret it, it can still count as an experience and you can always get something out of that, but not doing something, that's lost forever) ) it then act accordingly. Remember , life's very short, 10 years are gone in a blink of an eye and so is your young sexy body.. carpe diem.. -
You are not pathetic. Just a virgin…which is a good thing. Your first experience should only be with someone whom you are comfortable with and have built a bit of a relationship, for lack of a better word, with. Don't rush into anything which you might likely regret later on. Life is full of those moments. Take your time and you'll know when the time and the person is the right one.
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All has been said. Just make sure he doesn't have STDs. Nope, you're not pathetic. I'm a virgin too. Just saying haha
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