How many people know you're out?

goxt12

Only 3 realy close friends. It's Russia, babe, a very small town.

warpaint

Well, I've been growing up with a saying that "heaven lies in the foot of a mother". I'm sure mother's love knows no limit, but I'm unsure about my mom. I live in Indonesia, and here they treat most LGBTs like some sort of sickly, mentally disturbed people. They judge us, without actually knowing us but don't make any attempt to know us personally nor even willing to treat us humanely. Now, my family also embodies a certain degree of religion values. I asked them once about how they view about homosexuals, especially since this is a trending issue here lately, since these people start to raise their voice, demanding their rights to be valued and treated equally, and they said these people are damaged. They said that I shouldn't be anywhere near them, thinking it's contagious, so… yeah, I think coming out to them won't be so easy after all. I'm unsure how would they feel about me if they ever find out that I'm actually attracted to males... I think it would devastate them, particularly my mother. Whether I tell them or they find out about it themselves (which I don't plan that to happen at all costs), the outcome would be the same... I think :cry2:

Even if they did, they probably won't talk to me for certain period of time... They would come in terms with that, but probably will take a very long time. I don't know... I'm not ready to tell them yet...

Wow. And I thought Poland is a conservative country
Hang in there bud.
Maybe you should leave ? Go to Europe, to London, get a job. If they don't accept you. I just don't want you to waste your live in the closet and in the fear. If it's like in Russia then that's very possible. Ever thought of it ? Maybe not necessarily Europe but somewhere nearer. I mean, you won't change. That's who you are. Maybe changing your environmental wouldn't be such a bad idea. And if you got a good work you could really live your own. Maybe you got a friend somewhere with whom you could start or stay a few weeks until you settle.

My mom is a total christian. Like REALLY. She said that I won't ever be happy. I heard her praying under my doors when I was sleeping "for it to go away". Yeah she thought that it's some kind of curse. That I can pray the gay away and through the advices and rehabilitations make myself straight. I thought she lost that hope already : D Through the time she just got used to it. Not entirely, but it's enough. Hahaha she kind of rececntly told me while we were chatting about my friend that I should be with her cause she is such a good, wise girl instead of chasing those stupid men hahaha. But she was in touch with my ex-bf. She liked him, she texted with him on facebook and stuff I know it's probably like a gay heaven to you now but it wasn't like that always. It's what we worked out through the time. The most important thing was that I didn't give up and I was very stumble. I never came out to people with those puppy eyes saying "there is something I need to tell you… maybe you won't talk to me anymore". No. That's not a way. You don't come to people as an underdog, you don't have nothing to be ashamed or to be sorry about. You don't let them scream at you or put their lectures over your head. You are proud. You are brave. You are strong. You go with I'm gay either you accept it or you don't but the faster you do the faster things will go back to the usual, cause that's not gonna change - I'm not gonna change.

If you did decide to go to another country you could always send them a letter if you are still afraid. They could think about it while you were away and combined with yearness they would miss you and want you to come back and find understanding. If not, better for you not to have any contact with them.

poltergeist

Actually, I do have a thought about moving overseas. I hope once I graduate I can live my own life somewhere far away. I intend to go to New Zealand and find a job there. But it'll cost me some fortune, so… until then, that's not gonna happen anytime soon.

But if I did leave, I may have to leave my boyfriend... :afr2:

It's so confusing! Maybe I could tell my parents via text message instead? $:-\$

warpaint

@poltergeist:

Actually, I do have a thought about moving overseas. I hope once I graduate I can live my own life somewhere far away. I intend to go to New Zealand and find a job there. But it'll cost me some fortune, so… until then, that's not gonna happen anytime soon.

But if I did leave, I may have to leave my boyfriend... :afr2:

It's so confusing! Maybe I could tell my parents via text message instead? $:-\$

Not a fortune. You just have to work and save some cash. I bet you're able to do that. I did that too. If you study hard enough you can get scolarship as well. It's all about hard work and knowing how to wisely spend your money.
I think that's a good idea if you feel so much pressure about your sexuality in your country.
So you have boyfriend here, now ? Why don't you both leave ? Should be even easier to do than on your own.
Don't know what everyone else thinks about it but to me telling that via text message is like breaking up a 5y r-ship over the phone. Not serious.

spam17

@warpaint:

@poltergeist:

Actually, I do have a thought about moving overseas. I hope once I graduate I can live my own life somewhere far away. I intend to go to New Zealand and find a job there. But it'll cost me some fortune, so… until then, that's not gonna happen anytime soon.

But if I did leave, I may have to leave my boyfriend... :afr2:

It's so confusing! Maybe I could tell my parents via text message instead? $:-\$

Not a fortune. You just have to work and save some cash. I bet you're able to do that. I did that too. If you study hard enough you can get scolarship as well. It's all about hard work and knowing how to wisely spend your money.
I think that's a good idea if you feel so much pressure about your sexuality in your country.
So you have boyfriend here, now ? Why don't you both leave ? Should be even easier to do than on your own.
Don't know what everyone else thinks about it but to me telling that via text message is like breaking up a 5y r-ship over the phone. Not serious.

Text messages are worse than breaking up over the phone..

poltergeist

@warpaint:

Not a fortune. You just have to work and save some cash. I bet you're able to do that. I did that too. If you study hard enough you can get scolarship as well. It's all about hard work and knowing how to wisely spend your money.
I think that's a good idea if you feel so much pressure about your sexuality in your country.
So you have boyfriend here, now ? Why don't you both leave ? Should be even easier to do than on your own.
Don't know what everyone else thinks about it but to me telling that via text message is like breaking up a 5y r-ship over the phone. Not serious.

I think I can do that. But not so much about my boyfriend. I'm not exactly rich, though not really poor either, more like financially capable, but my boyfie is not exactly, so I wouldn't say saving up some money to simply go abroad wouldn't be so easy either, not for a couple of months, or years, I think. Though I feel like, if I could take him with me, he would have a better chance of landing a very much proper job, one that is suitable with his passion and interest…

okay, no text message then, but it's okay via phone call?

lustydaddy

only 2 for now. Still gathering more strength to come out to more people.

pornom4n

My family knows.
It wasn't easy in the beginning, since they were pretty confused on what being gay is (they thought it was a desease and they took me to the doctor, lol).
With time (I came out in 2003) they processed everything and now they are cool with it.
All my close friends know, anyway I wouldn't have any problem to reveal my sexual orientation to other acquaintances.
The only problem would be with my relatives (uncles, aunts etc.), as they talk to much and can be very judgemental. Honestly I want to spare this kind of drama to my parents.

Anyway, I think that the only way to live is to be open and not be afraid of who you are. It could be hard at first, but it's the right choice and life will be better and better after that.

spam17

@pornom4n:

My family knows.
It wasn't easy in the beginning, since they were pretty confused on what being gay is (they thought it was a desease and they took me to the doctor, lol).
With time (I came out in 2003) they processed everything and now they are cool with it.
All my close friends know, anyway I wouldn't have any problem to reveal my sexual orientation to other acquaintances.
The only problem would be with my relatives (uncles, aunts etc.), as they talk to much and can be very judgemental. Honestly I want to spare this kind of drama to my parents.

Anyway, I think that the only way to live is to be open and not be afraid of who you are. It could be hard at first, but it's the right choice and life will be better and better after that.

So, you are not 100% out, are you?

:cheesy2:

pornom4n

I would say 90%, lol ;D

spam17

@pornom4n:

I would say 90%, lol ;D

I guess that the remaining 10℅ of these people that you know are.. just people that you don't have many things to do together! They should be something like strangers!!

eloyneto

It's very sad, most people I know are still in the closet afraid of the reaction of the society.

spam17

@eloyneto:

It's very sad, most people I know are still in the closet afraid of the reaction of the society.

:cry2:

Natakote

Less than ten, one is my relative and the rest are friends. ;D

warpaint

@Natakote:

Less than ten, one is my relative and the rest are friends. ;D

Still good. Don't need everybody to know right? As much as you care about people you can tell them. Though living out of the total closet sure has its advantages and more chances to meet somebody.

noelburgundy

Only my family doesn't know I'm gay, so that's a huge percent of people I know who are aware of my orientation: around 85% give or take.

It's still hard for me to tell my family, because the moment I do, I'd be forced out of the house. Or shot at. I remember the last time there was a hint of gayness I showed. And the one guy appreciating another excuse is bullshit to my mother's ears.

So yeah, that's a debbie downer. But hey, when I move out, I can be at ease with myself.

spam17

@noelburgundy:

Only my family doesn't know I'm gay, so that's a huge percent of people I know who are aware of my orientation: around 85% give or take.

It's still hard for me to tell my family, because the moment I do, I'd be forced out of the house. Or shot at. I remember the last time there was a hint of gayness I showed. And the one guy appreciating another excuse is bullshit to my mother's ears.

So yeah, that's a debbie downer. But hey, when I move out, I can be at ease with myself.

:cry2:

DDAC84

I am out to everyone. :cheers:

I came out when I was 19 and moved to the UK from South Africa.

It was very easy for me because I had no family in the UK at the time, So I could be myself, I was here for a few months and then sent an email to all my friends and family back in South Africa telling them I was gay.

I was very scared but everyone said they didn't care if I was gay or not as long as I was happy. :love:

Kuchinawa206

Basically everyone that needs to know, knows it. My family, my friends… I don't exactly parade it around and tell every single person ever but if someone were to ask I'd of course be honest. So I guess I'm out to everyone

whasthisfo

The people I'm close to all know. My general rule is that I don't bring it up unless it's relevant to the conversation, but I don't lie about it - so if someone asks why/when I'll get a girlfriend, I tell them, and if someone asks if I'm seeing anybody, I tell them. Really,, if someone asks and it's not in the context of, say, a bunch of skinheads about to punch my lights out, I'm going to answer truthfully.