Straight Men Who Have Sex With Men
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At this v moment, it says 132 people have looked at this message, and there is not a single reply.
So I wonder how many people actually managed to read my epic on this topic. And how many of them skipped a reply because discretion is the better part of valor, OR since they cannot say anything good, they courteously choose to say nothing. I should learn to do so well.
HOWEVER.
Today I wandered over to Amazon, the world-famous sweatshop and worker abuser-in-chief and found four comments from various reviewers.
Here they are.“Clear-eyed and unsqueamish, Not Gay defiantly insists that sex between contemporary American straight white men is in fact meaningful sex that can't—and shouldn't—just be hand-waved away. Jane Ward provides a timely and convincing corrective.”-Hanne Blank,author of Virgin: The Untouched History
“Not Gay is nothing less than a breath of fresh air. This book is certain to change the way that we think about heterosexuality’s relations with the homoerotic.”-Roderick Ferguson,author of Aberrations in Black: Toward a Queer of Color Critique
"This fascinating book explores the worlds of white men who have sex with other white men and yet identify as straight.”-Pacific Standard
"Rather than focusing so much on sexual orientation, or trying to unmask the feelings of these men, who position themselves as heterosexual yet engage in same-sex sexual behavior, Ward turns her attention to the ways in which certain organizations use homosexual acts to further men's investment in heterosexuality, hypermasculinity and homosociality in order to build lasting, strong bonds and friendships and to reassert white manhood."-Metapsychology
So with that puffery, there are also reviews from readers who have posted their own remarks on the sweatshop's sales site. In particular, this one seems remarkably pertinent. http://www.amazon.com/review/R1BXX5F9JB7IOY/ref=cm_cr_dp_title?ie=UTF8&ASIN=1479825174&channel=detail-glance&nodeID=283155&store=books
Since War has a website named in the company's sales page, I may toddle over there to see whether the author has a cogent reply to this quite friendly but quite disappointed critique.
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I find that the majority of the time, the reactions to such things are due to social factors. I believe in my honest opinion it's fine if a straight man wants to have sex with another man. It's just sex, in other terms, pleasure. Reactions to men having sex with other men, for example in western culture where masculinity is portrayed as being competitiveness, aggressiveness, shagging like rabbits, etc, men may be more aggressive when topics such as this comes up, but times are changing and others react differently. In other cultures like chinese, they show different traits in terms of masculinity, even they will have different reactions. Though, you'll be much better off getting opinions in other forums that aren't exactly as biased (I believe the majority of users are gay or bi, with occasional straight men). Hypothetically speaking and this is all made up in my mind, a straight men raised by same-sex parents are more willing to experiment or just do casual hook-ups with the same gender. It may not be accurate, but it gives you insight of how one is raised gives off different reactions.
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i don't care whether he is gay or straight…
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labels make things more complicated than it already is.. :crazy2:
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I know many gay men who just have sex with other men only for sex's sake. Some men never fall in love, but enjoy the sex throughout their lives. I guess they arent REALLY gay.
And oh, I also know LOTS of hetersexual men who enjoy sex with women, but never have fallen in love.
I guess they arent REALLY straight.Straight men who have sex with men is just as good a goodnight story as any other. A fairy one at that.
Well, my 2 cents.
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I know many gay men who just have sex with other men only for sex's sake. Some men never fall in love, but enjoy the sex throughout their lives. I guess they arent REALLY gay.
And oh, I also know LOTS of hetersexual men who enjoy sex with women, but never have fallen in love.
I guess they arent REALLY straight.Straight men who have sex with men is just as good a goodnight story as any other. A fairy one at that.
Well, my 2 cents.
Agreed 100%
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I'm a straight guy and I enjoy to fuck shemales and gay dudes. My wife said my thick :dick: cock was too painfull :cheers:l for her asshole and wouldn't have anal :anal2: sex with me.
It is what is, nothing more, nothing less. I love shooting :cum:a big load deep inside the guts of a nice ass. I have a nice Asian boy that I've been fucking on and off for the last 8 years.
According to my wife, I'm a homosexual :afr: because I put my penis in another man's butt :blownose:. My reply, "You had your chance".
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I'm a straight guy and I enjoy to fuck shemales and gay dudes.
[…]
According to my wife, I'm a homosexual :afr: because I put my penis in another man's butt :blownose:. My reply, "You had your chance".Your wife might be onto something ;D
Well, in my book, that makes you at least bi. Of course, other book editions might vary, but I'm kind of a first edition collector. :cheesy2:
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I'm a straight guy and I enjoy to fuck shemales and gay dudes. My wife said my thick :dick: cock was too painfull :cheers:l for her asshole and wouldn't have anal :anal2: sex with me.
It is what is, nothing more, nothing less. I love shooting :cum:a big load deep inside the guts of a nice ass. I have a nice Asian boy that I've been fucking on and off for the last 8 years.
According to my wife, I'm a homosexual :afr: because I put my penis in another man's butt :blownose:. My reply, "You had your chance".
I don't know what you are and I don't care but you got my dick hard as fuck.
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I don't think that anyone is totally straight, male or female. It's just a matter of how much of an attraction there is, or how far you are willing to go with an attraction. I say this because( my opinion) most people I think choose their friends initially by physical and sexual attraction. Meaning that most guys wouldn't want to say go to a bar with another guy that would turn women or guys in the other direction. Same thing for women. Most people I think want to be around someone that is what they think someone else would find attractive also reflecting on themselves. But there are other cases where you my not think someone is the best looking person, but there is still something attractive about them, maybe it's the way they carry themselves, treat their fellow man or the way they treat you. The test is look at someone and think, that if you wake up tomorrow and looked just like them how happy or sad would you be. Just rambling….
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i don't care whether he is gay or straight…
I do care! if the guy is gay then ok but if the guy is straight then I want to fuck with him more than a gay guy
there's something in the "Unnatural" that makes me want it even more -
There are different personality types. Not every guy is the same. Some excel at adapting to different circumstances, others see only problems and insurmountable obstacles. The one builds a fortress and stays put, the other goes out on adventure and finds new places to explore.
It's how the human race spread out across the world.
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I know another name for that: closeted gay/bi guy.
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Why can't we love one another regardless of gender, race, religion, politics, etc. Sex is fun and is best shared.
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I can't resist contributing to this discussion because although I've been interested in SMWHSWM topic for a long time, my curiosity begs to know more about it.
So right out of the bag people start saying labels are useless and restrictive etc. I couldn't agree more, but the title says "straight" which is every bit a label as "Gay" "queer" what ever people are identifying as these days.
I only have anecdotal evidence for you today. I'll use myself as an example I came out as being gay early in high school trying to own the fact that I knew I was more secure being a little different. These days if someone asked if I were gay, I would probably say yes, but only because it makes that discussion go easier, and then we can go back to life. I've been aroused by women but it's incredibly rare and far between and the few sexual events I've had with exclusively women felt very unsatisfying. For this reason, I find it easier to tell people that I'm gay, as opposed to "mostly gay" or "kinda sorta bi sometimes." I have romantic and emotional feelings for men and women both, but stronger for men, so far this is all lining up.
But then I want to address the idea that a horny guy will fuck anything (for example straight needs to fuck, will fuck a guy). I am willing to believe that this is somewhat true, but the idea is so incredibly foreign to me. It doesn't matter the gender of my partner, if I don't have this affectionate, emotional attachment, I can't perform ( and don't want to). Due to these reason, I get sex from boyfriends, or long time friends, and it's gratifying but trying to find someone on an app or website, or a rendez vous with a stranger just doesn't arouse me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of people that can have more casual sex, or don't mind what gender they are sleeping with. They make it seem like it's fun and rewarding (and easy to find?), and I don't feel any of those things in the few one-nighters I've had.
I need to talk more about this casual sex idea. I recently was talking with a group of men, and multiples said that they hadn't masturbated since teenage/ early adulthood. This seemed odd to me, cause if I feel like masturbating when I get home from work well.. I'm going to! Anyways so I ask them, to explain, and they said that at a certain point in their life, they just were always going out to meet women, or had fuck-buddys or whatever, and that when they were horny they would go find a person to fuck. This baffles me, because while I think both masturbation and romantic/emotional intercourse are amazing, I would definitely much rather touch myself than go through all the trouble of finding someone to shoot my load into(if all I'm looking for is that release). Sounds like a lot of effort and money, and socializing. What if you are horny so you go out to a bar or club, and you strike out, or no one of interest is there whatever, it's last call, lights come on and suddenly (because you don't masturbate) you need to find someone that will help you get off before you are asked to leave the bar… When I proposed this hypothetical to the guys, they said that they would rather take someone to screw, that they were not attracted to, before they would go home and jerk themselves to sleep (lol). I struggle wrapping my mind around how a person can even fuck another person if they are not attracted. I've given it a shot a couple times and had no luck in this regard. maybe "luck" isn't what I should call it...
writing all this, portrays me as if I have some diminished libido which seem inaccurate, only that I get arousal from affectionate, emotional, and romantic endeavors, instead of the fuck til your dick is raw style other prefer..
(Sexuality is a spectrum right?)
A poster here talks about having sex with another man because his wife is not enjoying anal intercourse. That's fine, and I agree that I wouldn't much call that "Gay" because it seems that the arousal came from the fetishized nature of anal intercourse. In this case I can see why gender would not matter, as all genders seem to be fully equipped with anuses.
=]
So one of my neighbors is bi, and he is married and has kids, but we still fool around sometimes, and while we aren't seeing each other romantically, or anything, at the same time, there is a weird emotional romantic element to it. We are comfortable talking about our love for each other, but sometimes I wonder if it's accurate or if he just likes being railed from behind, as he has his wife wear strap-ons too. Again.... labels aren't helping me make this point.
so SMWHSWM are they really straight or are they something else? My only answer to that, is: I don't care, but I feel sad for them that they feel the need to clarify their sexual orientation. If you are looking for homosexual relations of any kind, who gives a fuck what your orientation is. Who you pound (or get pounded by) does not define you. Although I will concede, to what another poster said about "if the guy is straight I want to fuck with him more..." I totally relate to that, I have fantasies about straight guys, but at the heart of it all, the fantasy isn't that I want to sleep with someone who has no attraction to me, the fantasy is really about, having something seemingly unattainable or taboo.
oops my two cents is up.
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